(Closed) What Are Your Relationship “Dealbreakers”??

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4419 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Mine are simple… Dishonesty, which includes lying and cheating.  Abusiveness, that means verbal or physical to me or to our pets.  Irresponsibility that puts our family in jeopardy. 

Post # 4
Member
1133 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Dishonesty/Cheating, I absolutely cannot be in a relationship when he can’t even tell me something important, and lies to me about it.  And if he cheats on me, it’s over.  I’ve seen what it does to someone, it’s not pretty.  I have the mentality, once a cheater, always a cheater.

Smoking is another one. The smell of smoke physically makes me dizzy and sick and thinking of kissing a smoker just turns me off. 

He has to love animals as well.  Sounds so silly, but ever since I could walk and talk, I’ve had a strong passion for animals. I studied Veterinary medicine for a while and worked in an animal hospital, I have a dog myself, and would love to be the lady who owns a few dogs, cats, a rabbit, parrot, and who knows what else!

Post # 5
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I need a loyal man so if he isn’t:  bye -bye.  Also he has to be a man of integrity: men who lie, steal, cheat, gamble, deceive, manipulate, or abuse need not apply.

This article describes what I was looking for and praise the Lord found!!! http://www.ehow.com/how_2165946_be-man-integrity.html

Post # 6
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

)not calling or texting back in a timely manner. every now and then is one thing but if it’s a regular occurance forget about it buddy

yikes, i often wont pick up the phone when hubby calls – i have terrible phone etiquette, leave a message and then i will deem it return worthy

deal breaker would be if he hit me

Post # 8
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

No smoking! Yuck!

And of course the obvious….no lying, cheating or abuse of any kind.

No mamma’s boy either….cant be with a guy who lets mommy run the show.

Hubby luvs his mom but he will tell her when something is not for her to worry about or is non of her business….actually had to during the wedding stuff. I was glad to see him put us first in a few instances.

Post # 9
Member
4371 posts
Honey bee

Smoking is something I just can’t stand.

Of course cheating. Abuse of any type. 

Being insecure about me having male friends.

Also must be an animal lover.

Post # 10
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

No cheating or lying. No abuse. Must love animals. Jealousy is also something I can’t stand. No momma’s boy, for a while I was honestly worried about this, but things have gotten much better since we’ve gotten engaged. Being closed minded is another. FH can be closed minded on occasion, but he is receptive to other perspectives, which is great.

Post # 11
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

First . . . he has to share my religious background, values and moral code.  That eliminates tons of guys right there.  If a guy is not a Christian, I wouldn’t really have enough in common to share with him once conversations got deeper because my spiritual life is the deepest part (and honestly my favorite part) of my life . . . and I would probably drive him nuts by wanting to pray with him, going to church, etc., so there’s really no point in wasting my time or his in entwining our hearts unless is is a devoted Christian (thankfully, my guy is!!).  That doesn’t mean I’d never be friend with or have respect for a guy who wasn’t a Christian . . . but if I’m gong to be romantically linked with someone, we just have to be on the same page about what’s important in life; it’s a different level.  

Next, if he doesn’t want to save sex for marriage, he’s out, because it takes two to keep that commitment.  I’m not saying he has to be Mr. Perfect with a perfect past . . . but he has to be committed to living chastely in the here and now, and I have to be convinced that it’s a commitment that comes from *his* heart and that it’s between him and God . . . not just something he’d do for me.    My guy is a virgin, which I’m really grateful for (and I’m really proud of him!), but even then I wanted to make sure that he was really committed to living this way and that it was he was striving for . . . I didn’t want to be with someone who would try to push the limits or resent me for setting limits.  For me, keeping this commitment also means no messing around and not crossing the lines.  I don’t want to be a hypocrite virgin who does everything but the actual act.  That’s why it was really important for me to be able to talk to my SO about physical boundaries at the start of our relationship to make sure we were on the same page.  He knows he can’t touch me anywhere that would be covered by a bikini because otherwise it’d just be too easy for things to get out of hand and I would feel like I was not really abiding my my commitment. 

Also, if he doesn’t want kids, that’s a deal breaker.  If he doesn’t treat women with respect, that’s a deal breaker.  If he has a low view of what women can achieve, that would also be a deal breaker.

Post # 12
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

My deal breakers, besides the obvious ones like cheating and abuse, were: a. wanting me to be a SAHM/home maker. b. devoutly religious. c. not a feminist. d. not interested in travel/has not left North America. e. immature. f. addicted to anything

Hm…seems like a long list! Geez. I didn’t realize I was so picky.

Post # 13
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

Have to agree with everyone who said smoking.  Yuck!

Obviously, any kind of physical, verbal, emotional abuse would be a dealbreaker, but I think I could forgive him for cheating (ONCE), depending on the circumstances.  Mr. Bunny couldn’t though; he is the moral compass of our relationship, lol.

Him wanting children or adhering to very strict, ‘traditional’ gender roles would be a dealbreaker…our relationship would be destined to fail from the start.

I find materialism a huuuuge turn-off, and a guy who put a ton of value on things would be offputting.

Hmmm…random dealbreakers: being pro-life, a religious fanatic, didn’t care about the environment or was mean to animals or people.

 

I guess I’m picky too, haha 🙂

Post # 14
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

@ThunderBunny: you sound like my kina gal! We’re not picky, we just know what would destroy a relationship. It’s smart!

Post # 15
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

@ThunderBunny: I think it’s common sense, rather than picky, to hold out for someone who shares your core values in life. 😉 

Post # 16
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

My biggest deal breaker is hygiene. If a man doesn’t shower 1-2 times a day and take care of oral health, I’m out.

Other then that: Dishonesty, temper, extreme jealousy and I couldn’t be with someone who is really religious. 

If my current marriage were to end I would never marry into a wacko family again regardless of how in love I was with my partner. We just got done with a four day visit from my in law’s and it was hell. They cause arguments, stress, etc.. I feel bad, but last week I questioning if it was worth it.

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