Post # 16
It sounds like more hassel that it’s worth to involve Emily when you can just do them yourself. I would avoid discussing it with you FMiL until you can say ‘I’ve actually already done it. It took no time at all.’
Post # 17
A bit off topic but the stories I hear are consistent. People just aren’t taught good manners. Every bride and woman thinks they know it all (we guys too) but it is amazing the bad behaviour or poor choices – and some aren’t just cosmetic (like the several posts here of people asking if wearing a summer dress is a good choice for af all wedding). What happened to good manners? Please? thank you? Can I help? While it isn’t all about money wedding party members should be supporting the bride and groom with the wedding prep and stresses or at least take care of getting dressed. If you can’t afford the outfit or something then speak to the bride and groom directly – there maybe alternatives or a graceful way for you to exit. I do believe in honoring people and trying to make people feel special but “Emily” is a bridesmaid and is already ‘special’ – there are other friends and family I would be more concerned about.
Post # 18
weddingmaven : Same! I don’t like asking people for help with wedding related tasks unless the person has offered! I will dfo follow up my bridesmaids.
oceangirl40 : yes dfo! my Fiance will dfo help me with the invites. I don’t think it is a big task really.
BalletParker : I think Future Sister-In-Law is special already since she is part of the bridal party? If Emily wants to be involved with wedding related tasks, surely she can just tell me and offer her help.
FromA2B2013 : Emily’s baby is FMIL’s first grandchild, so Future Mother-In-Law often goes to Emily’s place to help with the baby. I don’t feel comfortable asking Emily for help if she hasn’t offered.
blue_cat77 : I have recently visited Emily and her baby and had a chat. She hasn’t brought up anything about the invitations.
withluv : I don’t see the reason why I should include Emily more? I haven’t got any of my bridesmaids to help me with the wedding because they haven’t offered which I am totally ok with. I have only asked the bridesmaids to help choose the dress.
burneraccount123 : thanks for your thoughts! I will dfo follow up with my bridesmaids!
LittleByLittle : great! thanks for that! I will keep that in mind when FMIL brings up Emily’s help!
emeraldsmiley : haha yeah driving 4 hours does not make sense just to do the invitations!
Post # 19
Chris4 : yuuussss! I totally agree with you! Emily is already special since she is part of the bridal party. I have paid for their dresses and am paying for their alterations. I am also paying for other expenses so basically the bridal party are only paying for their transportation which is not much. I don’t want to ask the bridesmaids to help me because I know I can do it myself and they haven’t offered any help. I don’t want the bridesmaids to feel stressed out if they are involved with the planning.
Post # 20
You are making the right decision – nobody with a new baby has extra time, and if they do, they are trying to get some sleep!
I would keep yourself aware of your Future Mother-In-Law though. This might be nothing, or it might be the start of a pattern where she thinks she has a say in your life and what you ‘should do’. The fact that she kept pressing the issue after you said no is worrisome.
Post # 21
No need to ask emily. But, if you really want to “play the game” you could always invite emily up to you. She probably won’t come because of the baby and you will appease your Future Mother-In-Law and emily.
Post # 22
as some PP mention – I have a sneaky suspicion this isn’t actually about your invites but more about giving Emily some attention. Maybe she feels alone/isolated after giving birth and like she isn’t involved and your Mother-In-Law is trying to give you a reason to head over there (with the double bonus of it being to “help” you)
if you are friendly an extra call or text might be a nice thing to do to try and engage her (most new moms I know tend to prefer text because they can answer when they have a minute) but I wouldn’t feel obligated to go over there to address my invites or to ask someone to help you