Post # 1
I don’t know how I feel about the gift giving to the parents… is it supposed to be a “thank you for helping with the wedding,” or a “thank you for being my mom/dad” gift? Obviously no gift would ever be enough “thanks” for either of those..
My parents are footing the majortiy of the bill for the wedding.. and I feel like they should get a nicer/bigger thank you gift than his parents-I’m torn if this is the right thing to do. We plan to give them their gifts seperately, so each set won’t know what each other is getting.
We’ve already bought each mom a personalized handkerchief and each dad personalized cufflinks. We also got my parents a nice frame that is engraved & we’ll purchase them a photo.. and we bought his mom and his dad each one too (they’re divorced.) I feel like overall those are nice gifts. But I wanted to do something a little more for my parents. They love going out to eat and go quite often, so I was going to get them four $50 gift cards to different restaurants they enjoy.. as something a little extra to say thank you for helping us so much!
What are the thoughts on how to go about gifting to the parents.. should we spend equal amounts on each, does the price not matter, just the thought behind the gift? I’m curious to see what people’s thoughts are. Thanks!
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
@X0JLYNN03: I think the gifts you’ve already planned are really sweet! To answer your questions – no, I don’t think it’s the price that matters, definitely just the thought that counts – and you don’t need to spend an identical amount per parent (or per set of parents). Do what feels right.
My parents paid for a big part of the wedding, they’re fairly well-off fiancially, and it meant a lot to Mr. W and I that we didn’t have to dig too deep into our savings to pay for the wedding. His parents are really not very well off, and we will be supporting them financially very soon when they retire, so instead of paying for wedding things, they helped out with a lot of the crafts and logistics. We are very close with both sets of parents, so our gifts to them were in both categories – as a thank you for helping out with the wedding, and as a general thanks-for-being-our-parents (since we rarely have the special occasion to do that). I picked out necklaces with a special meaning behind them for both our moms, and Mr. W ordered engraved pocketknives for the dads (same present as he gave to the groomsmen). We also gave both parents frames with a photo of us and a caption – “We owe you a wedding album!” We wanted to pamper them a little since gift-giving in our families is normally very frugal, so we got a gift certificate to a nice steak restaurant for his parents, and we booked a weekend at a B&B for my parents.
The bottom line is, I think all parents just want to hear from their kids how much they care. Wedding-day gifts are not necessary, but we wanted to do something special since we don’t thank our parents often enough. We wrote them very long handwritten cards, and I think they might have liked those even better…It’s always the thought that counts.
Post # 4
That’s a good idea, about the handwritten thank you cards — you don’t often give handwritten cards anymore these days.. I might have to shop around on Etsy for some really nice thank-you cards. We’re in the same boat as you.. my parents are doing well financially, his aren’t.. and I’m sure that’s the reason they aren’t contributing as much as they would like to.. Thank you for your input, I appreciate your advice!
Post # 5
im having the same problem! we are close with my family but not his, and my dad is helping with most of the wedding. his mom is aloso divorced (dad not in the picture) so do we spend $$$ on my parents for 2 ppl and $$$ on 1 person (who isnt contributing unless being a pain counts ) or more on my dad and less on his mom??
i think if you gave the gifts at different times you could get away with giving nicer gifts to your parents