(Closed) What are your thoughts on someone throwing their own baby shower?

posted 8 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 31
Member
44 posts
Newbee

I’m basically throwing my own shower because my Future Mother-In-Law works and it’s just easier for me to do all the dirty work. She is essentially hosting and frankly I don’t think anyone cares because it’s all close family and friends. 

This is my first baby and I’m celebrating her coming into this world and family. 

I did register to give people ideas if they want to get something for the pumpkin, but if no one brings anything, who cares! 

If you want a baby shower, than have one! Don’t feel like you can’t do what you want because of some etiquette rule and then regret it later on. Celebrate your little bundle of joy. We are having a shower for the ladies and a bbq byob for the men but everyone can mingle.

Have a bunch of food and games and good times. That’s my perspective.

Post # 32
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

View original reply
puplelishious:  Maybe I’m tacky for saying this, but can you get someone to sign on to play host?  So basically you and husband do the planning, spend the money, put everything together, but on invites and day of someone (like a friend or family member) acts as host and makes sure things are running smoothly?  I’ve personally never been to a party and thought “Oh I wonder if the host did all of this.”  There are certain levels of hosting and maybe it would make guests feel better to know that someone else was putting it on, and no one would question your level of involvement…

Post # 33
Member
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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MangoBreezy:  This was my thought!  Instead of throwing a shower, throw a baby celebration or something!  People throw there own gender reveal parties all the time.   You could do something like that!

Post # 34
Member
584 posts
Busy bee

While I think it’s a little tacky to plan your own *shower*, since the main purpose is to give gifts, I also think every baby deserves to be celebrated, and there’s nothing wrong with throwing a “celebrate our upcoming arrival” party!  I actually really like your husband’s idea of doing a BBQ, it seems less shower-like.  Some people will bring gifts, but that’s their business.  It’s basically like an early birthday party!

Post # 35
Member
1884 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I know it’s wrong etiquitte wise, but I wouldn’t bay an eyelash unless it was your third, fourth kid or something! I also live a long way from our families and our group of friends is pretty clueless when it comes to these kinds of things. I know pretty much no-one in my group would even think about a shower, much less to offer to host one for the new mom. If you are a good friend I would want to get you something for the baby anyway, so it doesn’t matter to me who is hosting the shower. 

Maybe its cultural though, where I am from it is expected that a new mother will need help gathering all the stuff she needs for her baby & herself and the more experienced ladies usually step in to help out & plan these things. Where I live now, there are not experienced ladies in our group to tackle that, so yeah, I’d probably do it myself as well!

Post # 36
Member
1617 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Not tacky at all.  If you don’t register then even better.   All babies deserve to be celebrated and I love baby showers, i don’t care who throws them.  I went to a baby shower on Sunday and I don’t even know the girl who is pregnant.  

Post # 37
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We don’t have local family, and my friend who long ago said she’d host a shower for us is still dealing with infertility, so to hold her to her promise would be all kinds of cruel.  If we do anything, we’ll do a co-ed party (if only we had a yard and a BBQ!  That would be so fun!).  We might even be cheesey and call it a pregger kegger or something (and have plenty of alcohol for those who want it).  We won’t mention gifts.  If people ask about a registry, I’ll tell them (I put one together mainly so I can get the completion discount when we buy the stuff ourselves), but I wouldn’t volunteer that info or even mention gifts when inviting people to the party.

Post # 38
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

For me it would depend on the person. I had a friend who was really struggling financially, but didn’t have anyone to throw her a shower. She did it herself, and I was happy to attend and give her a gift. I probably would have either way. She desperately needed help.

Post # 39
Member
1347 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think there is anything wrong with throwing your own shower. Parents throw birthdays for their chichildren all the time and I see this celebration as the same. The gifts are for the baby.

Post # 40
Member
3797 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

View original reply
CurlyCue:  That’s exactly what I was going to say! I’ve heard for years how “tacky” (hate that word) it is to throw your own shower, but when I think about it, what’s the difference in throwing yourself a birthday party or a shower?

OP, if you feel people will become snarky and judgemental, then do the co-ed celebration thing or ask someone to act as “host”. If you feel people won’t really care in your circle, shower away!

Post # 41
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Wow, so surprised by the negativity…what is wrong with wanting to celebrate the baby?

There are some good ideas here to avoid offending people – either have someone else host the party superficially, or do the BBQ, but don’t call it a shower.  I don’t see anything wrong with calling it a Baby Celebration BBQ or BBQ in honor of coming baby.

Congratulations and good luck!!  When it comes down to it, family and friends that really care about you and your family won’t care who’s technically hosting the shower 🙂

Post # 42
Member
13929 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
KatiePi:  Actually, etiquette would say that throwing oneself any kind of self-congratulatory party, including a birthday party  is inappropriate for adults past childhood. 

Post # 43
Member
3797 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

View original reply
weddingmaven:  I’m sure it does, but sometimes I think etiquette is just so uptight and ridiculous. I like celebrating people I care about and babies (in this case). I would attend regardless of who was hosting and honor that person/baby with a gift. 

Post # 44
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

This is incredibly tacky and I would be horrified if I received an invitation like this. 

Post # 45
Hostess
7941 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t think it is appropriate nor would I do it but if you sent me an invitation I would happily accept, buy a gift and attend without issue.

Obviously you asking means that you know that some would judge you throwing your own shower so if you don’t care what other people think go right on ahead and plan away! If you are concerned with it then try to find someone to play hostess as others have suggested for appearance sake only.

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