(Closed) What are your thoughts on telling people you are TTC?

posted 4 years ago in TTC
Post # 16
Member
11519 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

Prettysmile40:  I don’t think we’ll be telling any immediate family, I don’t need them bugging us.  depending on how it goes, there are a couple of friends I may confide in.  I have one friend who I know had a hard time getting pregnant and had a couple of MCs, I know she’d be a source of support if I needed her and I also know I could trust her to keep quiet.

Post # 17
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

pinkshoes:  literally what I came here to say. It’s none of their business and not telling isn’t lying. 

Post # 18
Member
3563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We didn’t tell anyone at first.  At about the 6month mark, I was really stressing over it and told my mom just so I’d have someone to talk to.  A few months later, we told a couple of our closest friends because I was having a difficult time and needed them to understand why I may have been acting differently.  Then at Thanksgiving, I ended up telling Mother-In-Law & SILs because DH’s aunt kept bringing up “how we needed to hurry up and have babies” over and over and I kind of snapped at her about it. 

I have two coworkers that know, because we are friendly and my facial expressions can’t lie about how I’m feeling. 

It’s been a year and a half of TTC for us, and I don’t really mind telling people at this point.  I find that it keeps people from asking me about it constantly, and my closest girlfriends are there for support when I’m feeling sad/depressed about it.  

Post # 19
Member
4090 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We told our parents, but mostly towards the one-year mark our “telling” was really just me biting people’s heads off for asking really inappropriate questions and irritating me with telling me what i “should” be doing, when we were freaking TRYING to, goddammit…probably not the best way to go about it though, lol.

Post # 20
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee

 

Prettysmile40:  We are not telling anyone (with the exception of my bff) despite enormous pressure. We’ve been married a year now and are in our early 30s so EV.ER.Y.ONE is asking about a baby. We’re starting to try this fall. I think it’s sweet that our families and friends are so excited for us, but I’m like a deer in the headlights every time someone brings it up. I got grilled a recent family gathering and I was struggling pretty hard stay nice. “When are you having a baby? Are you having trouble? Do you not want any? You should have at least one. You shouldn’t wait forever, you know.” I just kept saying “when it happens, it happens”. I get irritated about it because I’ve been told it may be difficult for me and this could be a long journey for us. I don’t understand why people, family or not, feel entitled to know our reproductive plans!?

Post # 21
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception / Courtyard Marriott Legacy Ballroom

I wasn’t planning on telling anyone, but we ended up telling DH’s parents. They were both feeling kinda sad from “losing” their son to marriage, so he thought it might cheer them up to know that they might be grandparents sometime soon. Plus, I was kinda suspecting that his mom would be pushing us to give her her first grandchild ASAP. Knowing that we were trying kept her from making too many comments, though she still posted something on Facebook about watching for children soon Thankfully, we’ve told her she can’t post anything on Facebook after we told her we’re pregnant. I’m waiting till I actually start showing to officially announce it.

Post # 22
Member
7369 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Why announce you’re having sex? Not my cup of tea. And having people ask for updates or volunteering unsolicited advice,  would drive me up the wall.

Post # 23
Member
848 posts
Busy bee

It no one’s business and honestly I don’t need to know that much info about my friends. I’ve had a few people announce that they are trying to get pregnant- I think it’s so weird. It’s like annoucing hey we are having scheduled sex! Tell people when you are actually pregnant.

Post # 24
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My future SIL told the fam… I thought that was strange. I don’t want kids for a few years, but really don’t  see the point in telling people.

Post # 25
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Didn’t tell anyone, none of their business. That’s what anonymous TTC boards are for!

Post # 26
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Prettysmile40:  I’m the same as you, only one friend knows that we’re trying. Usually when asked I give vague answers, ‘Whenever it happens, it happens’, ‘we’re not trying, but we’re not preventing’, ‘maybe within the next year’, ‘we’re just enjoying being married right now’.

My answer varies slightly based on who asks me and my mood at the time. But, like you, I already feel pressured 4 cycles in, and I don’t want to be more stressed out.

Post # 27
Member
1552 posts
Bumble bee

We never intended to tell anyone we’re trying. Then I got my BFP and we told only our parents. Shortly after that, I lost the pregnancy. So they know we’re trying.

Post # 28
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I told the bee. That’s it. 

If anyone IRL asks me about status updates, I would flip. 

Post # 29
Member
4891 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We hope to start TTC in the next few months, and have decided that I will notr drink during that time. I am OK with this, as I don’t drink too much these days and know it is better in the long run while TTC. DH’s sister and SIL both drank while they were TTC, and have kids with special needs. Yes, we know that may not be correlated, but you just never know. We love those kids, and would love any child we have!

Anyway, as a result of not drinking… many people will know, especially his family. They are drinkers. Even if it’s to get together at someone’s house for a couple hours, drinks will be made upon walking in the door. So, it will be hard to hide that from then. I sometimes do decline any drinks, but if I do it all the time – they’ll figure it out.

At that rate, I may as well tell my parents – as my mom has been anxious to be a Grandma for YEARS now. This may give her some piece of mind in the subject. But at the same time, I want to surprise the, since it would be their first grandchild (unless my sis pops one out before me, but she’s not married yet).

I would probably avoid telling friends unless I needed to.

Post # 30
Member
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Rafissch:  

Personally, I find it strange that people announce that sort of thing, it’s basically telling your friends and family “hey- we’re having lot’s and lot’s of unprotected sex, isn’t that exciting?!”

Ditto. Plus, I just don’t think it is anyone’s business. I think people in general these days overshare everything way too much. Plus, the more people you tell, the more people will be asking “Why aren’t you pregnant yet? You still trying?” etc.

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