(Closed) What are your thoughts?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you’ve sacrificed much of yourself and time to be with this man and he needs to “piss, or get off the pot!”

Smile

 

Let’s hope he has a surprise waiting…otherwise I’d move on with my life.

Post # 4
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

I agree that you have sacrificed your life to be with him.  I think you made the right decision for your life and your needs!

Post # 6
Member
1368 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

 

I don’t think you are being too demanding from the tone of your post. It’s not like you bring this stuff up more often than enough…right?

Hopefully he has something planned by the time your visa is up!

Post # 7
Member
1405 posts
Bumble bee

I would say if he was okay with the fact of your Visa expiring and you having to leave the country, he isn’t concerned about a future.  

Post # 8
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Sunflower–girl: That’s what I was thinking.

That he is “free” of you soon because your VISA expires. (Where are you from by the way? You don’t have to answer, just curious!)

I say, before you leave, tell him that you will be dating other people while you are apart. It’s not a threat, it’s what you must do for yourself to secure your future and eventually have the family you dream of.

That’s what I would do, at least.

Post # 10
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Narnia: I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t offend you in any way! I thought you were looking for advice.

Do you plan to stay with him, then?

Post # 11
Member
1405 posts
Bumble bee

He is pissed.  Because he had what he wanted.  A live-in girlfriend.  

Post # 12
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

From this, in your original post, it didn’t sound like he was “pissed”

A few weeks have passed, and he started a conversation about this again, saying he does not understand “the need”, and what do I need a ring for. I told him that I’m not interested in dating, and I want to start a family. I will leave US in September, and I cannot come back here as his girlfriend. If a year of dating, and 6 years of knowing each other is not enough for him to know – nothing will be.

Post # 14
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Narnia: Oh, phew! Thank goodness! You know, this is where the whole “be a confident woman” thing comes into play. You can’t and WILL NOT wait for him forever. So if he dosen’t want you dating others, he better put a ring on it! πŸ˜‰

Post # 15
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

You need to do what’s right for you — if that’s moving home, and starting a family, then that’s what it is. If he’s not willing to commit to you, you need to find someone who will.

Post # 16
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

@Narnia: “He’s against pressure though. He says we are building our lives together right now, and this should be enough for me to know that he’s serious.”

Biggest line of bullcrap ever. He Formerly Known as BluesGuy said that he had felt pressure — but it turms out that the real issue was that he thought couples shouldn’t have disagreements about anything, ever, when dating. I firmly believe that when they pull that “I’M PRESSURED” whining bullcrap at the year mark or beyond, that something else is going on.  If they can’t stand up on their own two feet, and speak up for what they think is right for both of you, they’re not worth the time.

If marriage is important to you, and a family is important to both of you, then getting engaged *is* part of building your lives together.

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