(Closed) What are your tips/advice/suggestions to surviving an LDR?!

posted 7 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We sent videos back and forth (this was pre-skype) a few times a week. Sometimes just seeing each other was really all we needed, but since there was a 9 hour time difference, it really inhibited us from being able to do things at the same time.

As far as things to keep us together…well it really depends on what you have available to you. We texted a lot when we were in the states. But once we was deployed I would send him emails every day, just letting him know what i had done (even if it was way lame) just to keep him in the loop.

But mostly, we just chatted when we could. We didn’t force too many dates and such on each other–it just got frustrating if we had our own things going on, which are pretty much inevitable because we had enough on each of our plates to keep us busy and distracted!

Post # 5
Member
1537 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We used to do the movies on TV or we’d watch funny clips on youtube together πŸ™‚

One thing that I always made sure to do was to show my man what he was missing and give him a little taste of home. Randomly I would throw together care packages and I would never tell him when they were coming! I used to send things like a calendar with our important dates and time lines (with cute messages hidden on empty days), a couple of photo-shopped pictures with cute messages so he could put them in his truck, a few cookies, new socks & underwear, etc. I’d also make CDs with his favourite songs or songs that we liked together or buy small little things that were significant to us.

Even though the monthly calendars were cheap-o print off ones my Fiance always said that having it on his fridge with my writting made him feel like we were still together because when we weren’t living apart I’d always leave little memos and those things for him. He liked those the best πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i think gchat kept our relationship going when he was overseas for grad school early in our relationship. we “talked” alllll the time, but since it was just gchat it was easier to multitask than talking on the phone or skype. we’d be just chatting about everyday, boring stuff while watching tv or cooking at the same time. it was like what we’d be chatting about if he were there. keeping up the really everyday, normal kind of communication was really important to us 

Post # 7
Member
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Girl, I feel your pain! My fiance and I did the long-distance thing for about a year; he was in Texas and I was in NC. My best advice to you is to make the most of the time you have on the bus, in the car, etc. to talk to him, but don’t let your LDR take over your life. I spent too many Friday nights in talking to him on the phone or iChat and lost touch with some good friends because of it. It’s great to schedule times to talk, but don’t let it get in the way of your social interaction with others.

Cute little messages and packages mean the world, too. You don’t have to spend a ton, but making him a little card or picking something cute up from the Dollar Tree every now and then to make him realize you’re thinking of him is worth the few dollars it takes to ship it. I made a scrapbook for him that he used to keep by his bed. πŸ™‚ 

Just don’t lose heart if you know this is the man you want to spend your life with! Think of the fact that you have the rest of your lives to be together, so a LDR isn’t permanent!

Post # 8
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Letters.  Email and texts are good, but having something tangible, that you can take out and re-read is so nice.

Post # 9
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

the mister and i watch movies online together a lot, we’d ether chat on our cell phones ore IM one another during the move. when we watched while talking on the phone. we haven’t had any issues with reverberating audio so maybe you can ask him to give it another shot?

we also video chat on skype too, which is awesome since we actually get to see each other. it makes a big difference, plus you can actually say what you want without worrying about typing it all down. nothing like trying to read through a block of type on a smallish chat window.

he’s done a great job randomly sending me care packages though i’ve admittedly slacked off on my end. but cards and little packages of random items are always a fun thing to give and recieve. i always have the biggest grin on my face whenever i get a box from him. its like christmas and my birthday all year round!

Post # 10
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My Fiance and I did the LDR thing for 5 years…arclee was right on target when she suggested letters. I kept every single one he ever sent me and I just found out he has all the ones I sent to him too. Also, whenever I would come visit, I would hide little love notes all over his apartment for him to find after I had left. He really loved that too. Just be strong and think about all the good parts of a LDR…so exciting to see each other, really keeps the spark alive, free to do your own thing, really helps communication skills in the long run, etc etc

Post # 11
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

Yeah, skype, emails and AIM were a major life saver. But you know what what a fun thing for us to do and brought us closer? We played World of Warcraft together. πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee

Skype is a god send really, especially cause its compatible with both macs & pcs.

I always try to pick up little things for him randomly (he does this for me too) so every time we do send each other we always have a fresh new memory to tide us over till the next visit.

I also sent him a couple random post cards when I was away on a vacation with my family.

Its just really important to keep each other informed and included in each others lives, but as brideatbeach says, don’t let the people that can be physically there for you slip away.

Post # 13
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We LDRed for 4 years in college, and then for a few months last year.

We talked almost every day. That was really important. But I think snail mail really kept us connected as well. We sent letters, cards, notes, little gifts, stupid tchotchkes, etc. 

We started watching the tv shows that the other person liked, which gave us something to talk about.

Honestly though? That hobby stuff can’t be overstated. Your relationship will be less than satisfying for X weeks/months/years, so it’s very important that you have other things to focus on some of the time.

Post # 15
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My fiance and I have been in a LDR for almost 3 years! And before that I was in a LDR for 2 years! (There are no good guys around here haha). It’s hard, but there are lots of ways to get through it! Skype is amazing & just having a good, stable phone is enough. We text almost 24/7 and even simple text messages can bring a smile to your face. There were a lot of visits in between (maybe once a month), including surprise visits, which are the absolute best. We sent video messages and pictures through our phones. Also, we would send pictures of what we had to eat. I think it’s the little and simple things that count πŸ™‚

Post # 16
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

We are in a LDR, with no future of not being in one.  LOL.

Fiance works 6 months a year out of state.  We stay connected by text, emails, etc.  I fly to see him once a month and try to spend a week at his games. 

Ditto @pp – we send lots of pictures – food, haircuts, new shoes, etc.  It is just our way of staying connected.  We also Skype, etc.

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