(Closed) What are your views on reading erotica or watching Porn….?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My husband and I both watch porn from time to time. Sometimes together, sometimes by ourselves. I have also read 50 shades, which is almost as poorly written as Twilight.  He’s not a reader, but I wouldn’t mind if he read erotica. I guess we are pretty liberal about porn, but we are pretty adventurous in the bedroom.  Not a vanilla couple. Gotta keep it interesting. porn helps with that sometimes. 

Post # 17
Member
3025 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I love both. I think the key is to respect your partner and what he or she is comfortable with.

Post # 18
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

If my husband wants to bust a nut, he comes to me. The moment he doesn’t do that and goes to porn first is the moment I walk away from him. We watch porn together sometimes to get ideas on new things to try though.

Erotic literature is different because you’re not listing after a specific person. A Fifty Shades of Grey movie would probably be softcover porn.

Post # 19
Member
2961 posts
Sugar bee

The characters in a book are (usually) imaginary.  I doubt that these books are beneficial – I don’t read them myself – but at least they do not involve degrading real people. 

It is, of course, very difficult to describe sex in a book, so much so that every year the British Newspaper, The Guardian gives ‘The Bad Sex Award’ for bad writiing about sex.   Some of the excerpts are truly hysterical. 

One could argue that such writing could harm readers by describing what is neither loving nor usual sex if the person is so young they have no experience of sex or if they have difficulty distinguishing between fantasy and reality.

In pornography the people on a screen are real people.  Pornography demeans the people being photographed /filmed and may even put them in danger (a thought also expressed by a previous poster).  The people watching must take some responsibility for this as they provide the market for such products. The sex portrayed is unrealistic and (my personal opinion) well, yuk.

Child pornography is, of course, thoroughly wicked and evil.  I would argue that pornography involving teenagers, who are at a formative and vulnerable time in their lives, is also wicked.  We all have responsibility to protect young people.

Finally, the thought of a man watching pornography is a huge turn off as far as I’m concerned.  Completely unattractive.  I’m sure that many of these men would not want their daughters to enter the pornography industry.  I do not hear men proclaiming it as a career of choice for their wives, mothers or sisters.  So why treat other people with such a complete lack of respect?

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by  .
Post # 20
Member
8440 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would prefer to watch porn over reading 50 shades (haven’t read it, but it doesn’t sound great).  I have no problem with my husband watching porn, in fact, we sometimes watch it together.  As long both people in the relationship are open, honest and on the same page about it, I don’t see an issue. 

Post # 21
Member
3725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I have some erotica I love to read. It gets me in the mood much like a porno gets a guy going. I read a few pages once or twice a week and it’s lovely. Other than that, I read regular books. I’m not much for video porn but FH likes it every once in a while and that’s cool.

Post # 22
Member
9098 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

No issues with it and there is no difference to me.

Post # 23
Member
229 posts
Helper bee

I read 50 shades and wasn’t a fan, I thought the sex scenes we’re repetative and part where he withdrew her tampon actually freaked me out. I will occasionaly watch porn, I have no issue with SO doing it either.

He doesn’t really bother though as when he’s in the mood his first point is to try and “Woo” me which usually works becuase he drives me crazy and I can’t keep my mittens off him. I have a high sex drive now so we have sex regular. He will watch porn when we’re apart for a couple of weeks. 

HOWEVER my ex often looked at porn and would barely touch me, so that was a huge problem in the relationship for me. 

Also I know for my SO that when he watches it, it’s not the women he’s aroused by it’s the act. So I don’t have any problem with it. x

Post # 24
Member
1784 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

50 Shades of Grey is only acceptable when read by Gilbert Gottfried.

Post # 25
Member
26 posts
Newbee

 “A new study has been launched in Canada to examine the effects of pornography on men. “We started our research seeking men in their twenties who had never consumed pornography. We couldn’t find any,” says the researcher.”

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/12/091201111202.htm

If your SO tells you they’ve never watched porn, they’re lying. When you tell a dude you don’t want them to watch any, I’m pretty sure most interpret that as they should do a really good job clearing their browser history, at least that what science says. And if you don’t find it, that’s cool, but don’t go looking because eventually you will find traces and you’ll fight and then I’ll have to read your post in the relationships forum. 

The conversation you have should be about how much involvement you want in each other’s consumption of porn or erotica. 

Post # 26
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015 - Old Mill Boathouse

My partner and I are incredibly liberal, and while I wholly understand some of the horrors that are connected to the Porn industry, I have and do occasionally watch it.  I have an old friend who owned her own pornography company and her actresses were all there by choice and with consent and so I try and (as weird as this sounds) seek out ethical porn.  My partner isless discerning   but I don’t fault him for that.  As for erotica I prefer a good one shot rather than a whole book so Liferotica does it for me.  My very best girlfriend refuses to let me read the Grey books because she reads a lot of erotica and knows her stuff (and knows what I like) and would never let me subjet myself to that… Haha.

My partner and I work different schedules a lot of the time so I’d be upset if he wasn’t okay with me doing what I want and tending to myself when he’s not around!

Post # 27
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Poodles:  I agree that everyone has at some point seen pornography, and so the study makes sense. However, NOT everyone consumes it, although I truly believe 99% of the population does.

And, while I agree with you that many will just do a superb job clearing their history, there are the few that just don’t believe in it. To paint every male with one brush is rather biased.

Post # 28
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think novels like that are girl porn and don’t read them. My Darling Husband doesn’t watch porn either. Sex is between a husband and wife – no one else needed, real or fictional! 😉

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