Post # 1
I am just wondering what your views are on vow renewals? I am about to get married in two weeks time, so obviously I am not considering one myself. I personally, don’t think I would have one. But I guess I’d just like to hear why people have them, and why others don’t want one…
Post # 3
I don’t think they’re necessary, but I don’t see any problem with doing it for a major anniversary.
Post # 4
For me personally, I feel like asking, “Why? The first one wasn’t good enough?” but that would offend most people, so I keep my mouth shut… But on the other hand, I think a vow renewal ceremony can be beautiful as a 10 year (intervals – 10,20,30,etc… anniversary thing. But i wouldn’t do it.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t be against one, but I’m not set on having one. We’ll see 5 or 10 years after my wedding. I think it’s a really sweet thing to do, though. And, if you wait long enough, you can really involve the kids (if you have any that you didn’t have prior to marriage)
Post # 6
@louiseW: I think it all depends how it’s handled. If it’s a fun tradition or a spur of the moment thing then I think it can be fun and romantic, but if you treat it like your first wedding and/or expect gifts or other people to drop a lot of money then I think it’s quite tacky.
Post # 7
I think it depends. When my parents first got married it was by a Justice of the Peace in their living room because my mom was divorced and couldn’t get remarried in the Catholic Church. Eventually, she was granted an annulment and it was important for my parents to renew their vows (or technically, convalidate them) in the Catholic Church.
Personally, I don’t mind them, but I don’t see a real point of inviting a whole bunch of people and making it like a wedding. If you wish to do so for yourself, or your children and close family, so be it, but IMO, I don’t think it’s necessary to do the whole shebang again.
Post # 8
I think that they can be very sweet. They definitely aren’t necessary, though. I don’t know if I would do one, but if so, it would be for a major anniversary.
Post # 9
@happyface: For me personally, I feel like asking, “Why? The first one wasn’t good enough?”
Totally agree. I’m all for throwing a lavish party on a major anniversary if you want to, or even giving some gushy speeches, but to me having a “vow renewal” is like implying that the previous vows have somehow expired.
Post # 10
I don’t think vow renewals are necessary, but I don’t think they’re wrong… depending on how it’s done.
- Private ceremony with just the bride and groom for a quiet romantic moment – Lovely
- Big celebration for 25th/50th wedding anniversary (no gift registry) – Lovely
- Huge vow renewal party with a gift list for no apparent reason – A bit weird
Post # 11
Do I think they’re necessary? No, would I want to have one in 30 or 40 years? Sure why not.
Post # 12
Not necessary, but sweet for a special anniversary.
Post # 13
I can also understand people having a vow renewal if their wedding day went badly wrong and they want more positive memories unscathed by the issues of the actual wedding (but still no gift list).
Post # 14
I don’t think they’re necessary at all, but they are cute if they’re done right. My friend’s parents did a vow renewal for their 25th, it was a big party at a hall catered and all, so sort of like a wedding reception in that regard, except their daughter (my friend) planned it all for them and there was no like registry or anything, her mom didn’t wear a big poufy dress, and it had legitimately been a LONG time since their wedding. People brought gifts, mostly bottles of liquor, haha, and it was a really nice time. The vow renewal part was also really quick, there was no big processional/recessional and all that, and the night was big on the party aspect.
I think honestly it’s a little weird when couples do them like 5 or 10 years in. I feel like a reasonable amount of time should’ve passed (special circumstances excepted, say if one person has major health issues or something). 25, 30, 50 years, you’ve eared another party, haha.
Post # 15
It feels a bit indulgent, but can see why people would do it for a big anniversary.
Post # 16
i guess technically we are doing a “vow renewal,” but we’re calling it our wedding. we are having a short civil ceremony later this month for legal reasons with just parents and siblings. then next june is our “wedding” with all of the family, the beach wedding/reception i’ve always wanted. i’ve seen that be looked down on here on the bee, saying it’s a gift grab, there’s no reason for it, it’s tacky, whatever.
but no, i don’t think i would ever just do a vow renewal just to do it.