(Closed) What are your views on Vow Renewals?

posted 9 years ago in Vow Renewals
  • poll: Do you think Vow Renewals are necessary?
    Yes : (57 votes)
    15 %
    No : (263 votes)
    70 %
    Other - please explain :) : (56 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    3572 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @cath3114:  I never really thought of that as a vow renewal. The civil ceremony is just getting the legal paperwork out of the way and what you’re doing next June is the real wedding.

    Post # 18
    Member
    296 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    My husband and I are going to renewal our vows, I was dianoged with stage 3 breast cnacer a year after our wedding and I am still going through surgerys treatments, chemo and radation. This has really been hard on us both my husband said after we fight and win this battle he wants to marry me again. Of course no time soon becuse i HAVE A LONG RECOVERY but when I win, I cant wait to marry my best friend all over again

    Post # 19
    Member
    1245 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @SpecialSundae:  Well lots of people consider the civil ceremony their “real wedding”.  I know it’s different in Europe though.

    Post # 20
    Member
    206 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @SpecialSundae:  thanks. that’s how we look at it too, as do our family and friends.

    Post # 21
    Member
    2721 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I would do it for a major anniversary, but keep it private between DH and me.  No guests.

    Post # 22
    Member
    3572 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @louisianablue:  I just meant in that sort of circumstance and phrased it badly.

    Post # 23
    Member
    411 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I think they can be sweet, if done appropriately. I think a couple that has something small and private and do it on a major anniversary (or if there are outstanding circumstances, such as rough patch, death of a child, ect that they have faced).

     

    When I tend to have a problem is when people turn it into a wedding do-over. During a vow renewal you shouldn’t be wearing a bridal gown, having a registry, or throwing a big reception.

    Also, I hate when people have a court house or JOP wedding and then months or years later have a “real” wedding. No, your JOP wedding was your real wedding, what you’re having is a vow renewal. I see this a lot with military brides…

    I have one friend, whom has a wonderful marriage, but her husband “reproposed” to her on their 2 year wedding anniversary. She got a new e-ring and everything. Is planning a huge wedding for 2014. I kind of side eye her a little bit, but whatevs.

     

    Okay, rant ended.

    Post # 24
    Member
    1675 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I don’t like them at all. My cousins just did one for their 5th anniversarry, because they got married in their front room, and the bride felt like she desereved a real wedding. They included their kids and the little brother of the groom who they have custody of, and they treated it more like a family renewel, but I still don’t like them.

    I think the only type I would do would be a huge party celebrating a big anniverasary, like 20th or 50th. Not a renewel, just a celebration of long time love.

    Post # 25
    Member
    2292 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Love it! There needs to be more love in the world.There is a lot of negativity surrounding everyone nowadays, why not have more love?

    Invite people, they don’t need to attend if it’s not their bag. But if you want to celebrate your love SHOUT IT OUT LOUD!! (but don’t ask for a shower or gifts)

    Also, I love a good party 🙂

    Post # 26
    Member
    2536 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I don’t think they’re necessary in that everyone should do it, but I don’t think it’s wrong either. I think it’s nice for a couple to renew their vows.

    Post # 27
    Member
    1675 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    @IowaDDS13: I live in an Air Force town, and see this SO much, and it drives me insane. Like my friends just got married at the church she grew up in, with their parents, and grandparents. It was a cute, private little wedding. If he was deploying I guess I could understand it, but he’s not. They’re planning a big wedding in Februrary of next year, after being married for almost a year. She says they don’t consider their first ‘wedding’ to be a real one, since she didn’t wear a big white dress and no one was there. It’s definetly a cash grab. Then again, she also had a huge housewarming party when they bought their house, which included a house registry. And she said on all the invites and Facebook posts that she couldn’t wait to see what people bought for their house. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    225 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I don’t think they are necessary. That said, my husband and I are renewing our vows next summer. I’ve been in treatment for breast cancer for the past nine months, so we’ve been going through a lot. We want to do something to celebrate our commitment to each other and that we made it through this together. It’s going to be just the two of us on the beach, no guests, no party, and we’re certainly not asking for presents. I did get a wedding dress, though (I just posted it on the dress board!)–chemo made me feel so blah and ugly and putting on this dress makes me feel beautiful again!

    Post # 29
    Member
    1311 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I think that vow renewals can be great, but I find them silly when couples do them every year, or after 1-5 years of marriage. I wouldn’t do one earlier than 10 years. Probably not until 25, honestly. Or, if there were (heaven forbid) some life-changing event like one of the spouses beats cancer or survives a horrible accident, etc. I feel like if something like that happens, it can be emotionally helpful to renew your vows to keep you strong through a tough time.

    I think they are a nice gesture for when you have been married a while. I like to think it’s also nice if you have kids and when they are grown they can see their mom and dad get “married”, since obviously they weren’t there the first time.

    Post # 30
    Member
    1294 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Ir feel like as long as you are doing it for the right reasons i.e. to pledge your love and support to your DH than go for it.  If you are doing it to get more gifts or attention from others than no way.

    That being said DH and I are renewing our vows on our first year anniversary.  Oh yes, the 1st year anniversary.  We got married outside in a gorgeous ceremony in a garden which is the wedding I wanted.  Our renewal will be in the church with just immediate family and maybe a few close friends with a small small party afterward just to hang out.  The church wedding is what DH, his mom and my mom would of liked.  

    @IowaDDS13:  I will be wearing my wedding dress. 🙂

    View original reply
    @FauxBoho:  I agree!!

    Post # 31
    Member
    206 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @IowaDDS13:  “Also, I hate when people have a court house or JOP wedding and then months or years later have a “real” wedding. No, your JOP wedding was your real wedding, what you’re having is a vow renewal. I see this a lot with military brides…”

     

    so just because somebody has a legal need to get married soon, but doesn’t have the time or money (or insert exigent circumstances here), they shouldn’t get to wear the white dress, walk down an aisle, have a reception, etc? what makes it any different? just because they don’t sign a paper afterward? what makes one bride deserving of it, but not another? sense of entitlement, much?

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