Post # 32
@cath3114: It has nothing to do with a sense of entitlement. Many brides consider their courthouse wedding to be their real wedding. It’s a slap in the face to them that some brides don’t find their court house wedding to be good enough to be considered their “real” wedding.
Your wedding is the day you get married. Regardless if it is 3 people or 300 people in attendance. Any party after your wedding day is just that – a party.
I find it acceptable for people who want to have a celebration of their marriage or a vow renewal, or what have you. Just don’t pass it off as a wedding – it isn’t. And don’t stomp around in a white dress asking for gifts.
Post # 33
I think vow renewals are nice…unless they’re treated like actual weddings. There was a woman on Bridezillas who had a huge vow renewal, complete with showers, bachelorette parties and bridesmaids. It seemed kind of selfish, maybe she didn’t have a big wedding before but the big wedding is a one time opportunity in my book.
Post # 34
@IowaDDS13: well then, make sure not to read my recaps after next june. because while i could care less about gifts, i WILL be wearing a white dress and i have absolutely no qualms about it.
Post # 35
Anniversary parties and vow renewals can be fun and sweet, but they should be treated differently than a wedding. No gifts is a big one. It’s rather tacky to expect gifts twice.
Post # 36
It’s not necessary, but I think they are sweet for a couple’s major anniversary. 🙂
Post # 37
I don’t think they are necessary, but I think it would be nice to go down south or something for a vow renewal for a significant anniversary. I definitely wouldn’t make it a big thing, but a small ceremony down south while on vacation would be nice.
Post # 38
I’ve never seen people do one with a registry or with a big guest list.
I love the idea of vow renewals though. I’ve already asked Fiance if we can do it on big anniversarys. i especially love the idea of just having the two of us and later having our kids there. It sounds really sweet.
Post # 39
Wow, so much animosity towards the vow renewal!! I agree with what @FauxBoho: said… if you love each other and want to throw another party and invite those you love… why the heck not? There seems to be a giant bug upsome people’s butts about this. You don’t have to bring a gift. You don’t even have to go. So what does it matter if someone you know does it? Just because you’re having/ planning the wedding of your dreams at the moment, doesn’t mean everybody gets to, and sometimes 10 years in you’re much more financially prepared to throw that party of your dreams. So why not go for it? We only live once, after all. And the people throwing it are spending a lot of money to throw a party… in essense, to spend more time with you. Just go and enjoy the love!!
One of my oldest friends is planning on having a vow renewal. She married young and never had a huge party… she never got to wear her white dress, and her reception was at her mom’s house. They’re still married after 10 years, have two beautiful children, and decided to go for a destination renewal with the people who attended the original marriage (which weren’t many, may I add.) They get to have their children be a part of the renewal, and she gets to pick out the dress that she never had. And they get to celebrate their 10 years of marriage… which considering the divorce rate in this country, is an accomplishment in and of itself. Why not celebrate that?
It’s definately not NEEDED, but I have no problem with it. I understand her reasonings, and I’m looking foward to being there with her.And as someone who just celebrated her marriage, I can tell you… theyre so much fun… why not do it all over again with the man you (still) love??
Post # 40
They are not necessary, but are a personal decision and can be fun too! Last year, hubby and I renewed our vows in Vegas with Elvis and our kids were with us. (25 year anniversary in a few weeks!) It was serious with a fun twist, we had a limo, flowers, pics and a nice dinner after. It was special because our kids were a part of it too!
Post # 41
I think they’re ok which ever way someone wants to have it. As a person who myself got married very quickly after learning my husband was deploying to Kuwait 4 days later, we had a wedding at the courthouse and we’re having another wedding in a church. The justice of the peace wedding has no vows before God, so now we’re taking them before God. Hardly anyone who knows us knows we got married and I’m wearing the dress with the bridal party and everything like a wedding. I did not want to not marry him and if something happen where he were hurt, I have to sit like a duck because we are not married. So, military people can have the small wedding and the big wedding. It’s the payoff for the making it through deployment.
Post # 42
@AllShookUp: i don’t get it either. and to say it’s a slap in the face to brides who only had their one wedding day? well, same could be said for lots of things. for example – an encore bride having another wedding with the white dress and the like could be a slap in the face to somebody who has never been divorced and only had their one wedding. hell, a bride with children or who has lived with her Fiance for some time wearing a white dress, supposed to symbolize purity, could be a slap in the face to a bride who saved her virginity for her wedding night. i just really don’t get why it’s such a problem and it’s even more absurd to debate the semantics of what it is or should be called.
Post # 43
I say go for it. Trying to convince my friend to have one so I can be a part of it LOL.
Post # 44
@cath3114: Well firstly, an encore bride having a big wedding isn’t really a comprable example. The whole reason it is offensive is the fact that some brides don’t find their courthouse wedding good enough to be considered their wedding, while many brides find it to be more than sufficient. A 2nd time bride is, in fact, having a wedding.
Also, I’d like to point out the fact that the origin of the white dress was not to symbolize purity, but rather wealth. So that example flies out the window.
If a couple who is already married wants to have a party in the honor of their marriage, that’s great. Hell, I don’t care if they want to have it catered, with an open bar and DJ. My issue stems from when they start to call it a wedding. It’s not a wedding, which, by the way, is defined as “the act or ceremony of marrying”. Not a party, nor the restatement of one’s vows.
Post # 45
I think for a major anniversary it would be fun and if its just a small party and not going all out. Or for people who had a very small orgininal wedding and saved up for a big vow renewal ceremony…I guess it just depends really!
My husband and I are kind of having a vow renewal ceremony but only because we got married last year and we couldn’t have a wedding right away…so we’re doing the wedding a year and a half after the fact haha. : )
Post # 46
i would do it for a big anniversary, but definitely a very small thing that was not gift-grabby in any way