(Closed) What are your views on Vow Renewals?

posted 9 years ago in Vow Renewals
  • poll: Do you think Vow Renewals are necessary?

    Yes

    No

    Other - please explain :)

  • Post # 62
    Member
    228 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I dont think theyre nessesary but i think theyre sweet for a major milestone. Very romantic

    Post # 63
    Member
    1731 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @SpecialSundae:  Thank you for saying that!!

    View original reply
    @cath3114: 
    View original reply
    @killakoala:  I’m doing this too.  We got married here on paper no courthouse wedding, JOP or anything just walked in signed paperwork checked the self-officiated box and handed the paperwork back to the clerk.  Violà married.  Pretty much everyone knows we are already married.  And they are coming anyway.

    I agree that the paperwork ties up the legal; the ceremony is where we will have our vows before God in a church. 

    View original reply
    @IowaDDS13: That’s fine that you have that opinion, but perhaps you should be more considerate of others and their circumstances, and that not everyone asks for gifts for their wedding afterward.  

    In most cases if not all it’s not done for selfish reasons. As in a having their cake and eating it too.  It usually involves a deployment, immigration, or the difference between being able to afford medical insurance or a roof over their heads.  And its not always an ideal situation for the couple or what they would have preferred to do. 

    I acknowledge that some brides choose to have a courthouse or JOP wedding and that’s it.  That’s fine too. 

    In our case we are having a wedding after we signed all that paperwork so that our families will be able to share in the celebration of marriage and witness us saying our vows to one another which we have not done yet.  The paperwork made us legally husband and wife, the ceremony will make us husband in wife in the eyes of all and in the eyes of God.

    This point is valid “i just really don’t get why it’s such a problem and it’s even more absurd to debate the semantics of what it is or should be called.”

    You know the first definition of a bitch is a female dog right?  So if someone were to call you that would just laugh in their face and say “Wait a minute I’m not a female dog?”  Or would you take offense and interpret it as its second meaning?  If life were defined by a dictionary definition it would be pretty boring.  But since you brought it up as a defense in your stance, a wedding is also defined as “a wedding anniversary or its celebration.”  So it does have another meaning which includes/covers our weddings and vow renewals whether you choose to recognize that meaning or not.

    By the way here are the definitions for both words from Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

    wed·ding

    noun, often attributive ˈwe-diŋ

    Definition of WEDDING

    1

    : a marriage ceremony usually with its accompanying festivities : nuptials

    2

    : an act, process, or instance of joining in close association

    3

    : a wedding anniversary or its celebration —usually used in combination wedding

    And

    bitch

    noun ˈbich

    Definition of BITCH

    1

    : the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals

    2

    a : a lewd or immoral woman

    b : a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse

    3

    : something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant

    4

    : complaint

     

    To OP, My grandparents had a vow renewal on their 50th anniversary and it was lovely.  I think vow renewals are a wonderful thing. 

    Post # 64
    Member
    320 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I voted that I don’t think they are neccessary; however, I have been for 9 years and my hubby and I are renewing our vows in January (it will be 10 years 9 January). We are having a wedding….we are having a wedding because we went to the courthouse the first time. I’m so excited!

    Post # 65
    Member
    320 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @IowaDDS13:  Well, I’m calling mine a “wedding”……I don’t see how this is offensive to anyone.

    Post # 66
    Member
    152 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Not necessary, but lovely all the same. Though I tend to think getting a vow renewal every year is a tad excessive.

    Post # 67
    Member
    1666 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Honestly, unless it’s a milestone (20, 30, 50 years, etc) I just roll my eyes. It just seems like a cry for attention to me, and no indication of the strength of your relationship.

    I’ve always felt this way, for example about Heidi Klum and Seal’s yearly vow renewal. Everyone thought they were so happy and in love, and then this summer we got to hear all about their nasty divorce and bashing each other publicly.

    Post # 68
    Member
    538 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    My parents did one for their 40th anniversary it was just family & friends at their house. It was great to see how much they still love each each other. I am getting married on their 45th anniversay (planned it that way). We are going to have to have petit fours with their monogram on them as a surprise with a copy of their wedding picture at our reception.

    Post # 69
    Member
    8412 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    My husband and I eloped — just the two of us and a JOP. We were poor, from very dysfunctional poor families. We could not have afforded a wedding and could not imagine it being a positive experience with our families at that time anyway. Also, I was pretty damn pregnant. Nobody thought we would last. But we have. We have stuck it out in sickness and in health, through richer and poorer (I recommend richer). After some really tough times, he’s asked me “are you glad we did it?” and “would you marry me again?” I would LOVE to have a vow renewal to show him that I absolutely would marry him again. That’s kind of why I started checking out these boards. I’m thinking about planning something for our 20th, and if it happens, it will totally be a big white wedding, veil and all (yes, I know that’s the one thing you’re not supposed to do — I don’t care!) Of course we would not accept any gifts. It’s just that we are in such a good place now. We’ve done well for ourselves and our families are kind of ok even. Plus we have good friends and our kids and their friends. I envision this big happy party, sharing 20 years of love with everyone who has been there with us (for better or worse!) And it would be very meaningful to the two of us too. 

    As for whether they’re “necessary” though — not sure I understand why it would ever by necessary.

    Post # 70
    Member
    4090 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I am along the lines of vows not needing renewing – they should be with you always!

     

    however, some couples change so much or go through somethin ghuge that redefines their love (like ex Mormons leaving the church as in this woman at work), so she really wants a vow renewal because that temple wedding means nothing to her and her H now.  I can see that for sure.

     

    I think I’d love to throw a lovely party for one of our big milestone anniversaires.  Go all out!  Maybe pop for a trip for our families! 

    Vows – they just seem to be something privately shared, not something to do in front of large groups (wedding or vow renewal).

    Post # 71
    Member
    871 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    not necassary, but so fun! I can’t wait to plan ours hehe

    Post # 72
    Member
    125 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I think the only point of vow renewals is 50th anniversaries or if the couple separated, almost divorced but then pulled through it and want to reaffirm their commitment to one another. If it’s not one of those 2 things I think it’s silly and a waste of money.

    Post # 73
    Member
    538 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @arendiva:  That’s a little harsh. I don’t think seeing my parents renew their vows on their 40th anniversary was a waste of money or silly. I loved seeing how much they still love each other. I am getting married on their 45th wedding anniversary and plan to have a surprise for them at our reception and make a big deal out of their anniversary at mine & Fi’s reception. I actually want the reception to be more about my parents then us.

    Post # 74
    Member
    6 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I got married when i was 18 to m hs sweet heart we went to the court house and marrried there now we have 8 years of bng maary and two beautiful kids and we are having the wedding of our dearms in 1 year and 2 monts to be exact the same date and same time like ten years before and yesssss i will be wearing a wedding gowns simply but preatty dont understand why people hate the idea beacuse my dad is more than excited to walk me down the aisle ….i think is better to do it when you are sure that this is the rt person than expending all this money and get divorce the year after…we both are very excited he propose me and even asked my dad if could since we didnt do it the rt way the first time…

    Post # 75
    Member
    6 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @Daisy_Mae:  very lovely..doing the same thing but for our 10th anniversary …same history 2 of us in a court house pregnant and poor…why not do it now that we can and are more than happy w each othe and also wearing the whole wedding attirre…;)

    Post # 76
    Member
    248 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I think they are a beautiful thing to do. My DH and I are thinking of having one for our 10 year wedding anniversary.. We plan on going to Paris just him and I and our family photographer to have a vow renewal.. I know my grandmother had one for her 20th wedding anniversary. She said she did one because, life takes a lot of of you and she and my pop-pop had been thru so much that it was good to renew their vows.. Time and life changed the promises they made to each other 20 years before and that the love was much stronger. So they wanted to do a renewal

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