(Closed) What are your views on Vow Renewals?

posted 9 years ago in Vow Renewals
  • poll: Do you think Vow Renewals are necessary?

    Yes

    No

    Other - please explain :)

  • Post # 77
    Member
    2529 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I think that in some circumstances it can be a very nice thing to do. It bothers me when it is billed as an actual wedding, unless the first one was an extremely simple paperwork-signing and a “wedding” with any of the expected trappings has not yet happened. I’m biased against the idea because I have seen repeatedly that people basically do 2 (somewhat elaborate) weddings, and though usually the first one is smaller, it seems tacky to me in that situation– 2 dresses! 2 things for family to go to! 2 weddings to fund! Ugh.

    I hope that I will not get into a situation where I feel a vow renewal is necessary; but I can understand that some people want or need one. 

    (I edited this somewhat because I realized my first response was really biased and kind of rude :/)

     

    Post # 78
    Member
    538 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @Creiddylad:  So it’s tacky to do this after a milestone anniversary? Look at this picture and tell me that yo u think it’s tacky this is a beautiful picture of my parents on their 40th anniversary. Oh and by the way, your last comment was not very nice for Encore brides.

    Post # 79
    Member
    84 posts
    Worker bee

    I love the concept of vow renewals. I think the nature of humans is to be always changing. My partner isn’t the same person as he was we I met him, nor am I. And our relationship has changed greatly too. I love the idea of vow renewals because it’s a way of commiting this new self you have grown into to the new self your partner has grow into, and acknowledging your changing, growing relationship. I think vow renewals are so romantic because of this 🙂

     

    Also, I think the timing of when a couple chooses to renew their vow may reflect their relationship… maybe a private hardship they’ve endured, or a milestone that feels big to them, or a celebration of tremendous growth they’ve felt int their relationship. This isn’t always visible to an outsider.

    Post # 80
    Member
    36 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    Well my husband and I have been married sense March 18 of this year and we got married by justice of the peace because we had no money to have a wedding so in 2014 we are having our wedding/renewal of vows. It’s not nessacary but we just wanted to due to the fact sense we didn’t have a wedding and we wanted to write our vows to eachother

    Post # 81
    Member
    1675 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I was thinking about this thread earlier today! My great grandmother passed away last week, and we’ve been going through photos for her funeral service, and I came across one that was my great aunt and my great uncle, dressed up like their parents, holding 6 dolls and a bear, wearing the clothing my Great Grand Parents wore on their wedding day. Turns out it was for their 40th anniversary, when they had a huge party with the family, after their kids were all grown, the kids decided to do a ‘vow renewal’ for their parents. They did the whole story of their lives, from their courting to their wedding, and then their kids were added by having them hold dolls(the oldest son, whom everyone likes to tease, was the bear haha). But during the wedding part, they had their kids read off their wedding vows, and they stood up during them being read, and repeated after their kids. So it was an impromptu vow renewal!

     

    Post # 82
    Member
    1033 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    DH and I will not have one later on. We had a big and extravagent wedding and don’t want to go though all of that hassel again. When we’re older, we’ll just have a simple party to celebrate our anniversary.

    Post # 83
    Member
    4 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    My husband and I are renewing our vows in December after 10 years of marriage. Both our children have special needs, and honestly, I think it’s a real testament to our love and commitment to each other that we’ve made it through all we have. Marriage isn’t easy- it’s much easier to give up. And if a couple wants to celebrate their success and the family they’ve built, I don’t know why they shouldn’t. In lieu of gifts, we have requested guests donate to our favorite charity in our children’s names. 

    Post # 84
    Member
    1850 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    We’re having one when he gets back from deployment.

    We’re having our actual wedding day at the JOP in January before he leaves, then our vow renewal in December so all of our family can celebrate with us.

    And I don’t think it’s tacky. I’m kind of disappointed in the people that are judging so harshly!

    Post # 85
    Member
    2721 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I like the idea of vow renewals, but I think they shouldn’t be something you’d invite all the same people as you had at your wedding.  A vow renewal is not really a life changing event, so expecting other people to take the time out of their lives for it is kind of self centered.  

    I would do it with just DH, me, and any future children we might have.

    Post # 86
    Member
    2015 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I think they can be lovely in some situations, and they can seem a bit attention/gift grabby in others. 

    I think it’s particularly sweet when family members (especially children of the couple) throw a party to celebrate milestone anniversaries. I don’t really think the reproduction of vows is necessary in this case, though. 

    I also think a private ceremony between husband & wife (with their kids, if applicable) could be really lovely if a couple has gone through hardships & come out on top. 

    Those are some instances where I think it could be sweet, though I’m sure there are others. I think a lot of times, it’s *how* a couple goes about it that makes all the difference. For instance, I don’t really like the idea of registering for a vow renewal. It just doesn’t sit well with me. I really think a couple should encourage no gifts (though I may still bring one), and should be sensitive to others’ feelings on the issue. If close family isn’t on board, it may not be the best idea.

    Post # 87
    Member
    2080 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I voted “other.”

    I don’t think they are necessary.

    However, in my particular instance, DH and I eloped. We did not have time to plan or host a wedding. It also wouldn’t have been practical given that I had a two-week vacation window to move out of my apartment when my lease expired, while DH was simulatenously up to his ears with renovating the home we were moving into.

    Since we missed out on the whole wedding experience, I’d like to have a vows renewal someday, maybe at a couples resort in the Caribbean or South Pacific. I’d like to have a super-romantic, just-me-and-him private destination “wedding” if you will (not really a wedding because we’re already married, but have the dress, the flowers, the champagne, the ceremony, the “I do’s,” all of that).

    And at some point when we get organized, I do want to have a party at home or dinner at a fabulous French restaurant for a few close family members and friends, probably on one of our anniversaries.

    I know one other couple who also eloped, and five years later they went to Vegas and did an elaborate vows renewal ceremony and “honeymoon.” It was really romantic and cute.

    If we had had a wedding in the first place, I don’t know that I would be interested in a vows renewal.

    Post # 88
    Member
    285 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    We’ve decided to never have a vow renewal. You renew things that expire. Our vows expire upon death. You can’t renew them after that.

    Post # 89
    Member
    5486 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I do not get them at all. I feel it is unnecessary and I get a bad luck vibe off them. 

    Post # 90
    Member
    502 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I would prefer very nice Anniversay celerbrations rather vow renewal.  For me, the first and only vow is supposed to be forever :-). 

    Post # 91
    Member
    662 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @Torrid:  It is not one bit tacky! Yes, you are getting legally married in January because due to circumstances this is the wisest choice for you and SO. However, your actual WEDDING is when he gets back. Don’t let anyone make you feel like it is any less special. I am also disappointed in how much animosity people have against vow renewals or in your case having your wedding after your legal marriage. In my personal opinion your ceremony after he gets back from deployment unifies you before your friends, family and God… Instead of just in the eyes of the State. 

    Ps. To all the insensitive ladies passing judgement on those who are having/have had vow renewals, just remember not everyone can afford the wedding they want but still need to be married for legal reasons. 

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