Post # 1
Do you have any major differences on parenting?
My SO and I agree on most things when it comes to raising children, especially on morals and values.
Our biggest difference is that SO believes in ton of structure and sticking to a schedule while I believe in some structure mixed in with some freedom for the child to do what they want.
SO grew up in a very structured home while I grew up in a home with no structure or organization whatsoever (if you watch the show The Middle ..kind of like that). So this is something we’re going to have to meet in the middle on, because too much of either can be a bad thing. In our cases, SO always had too much on his plate and not a lot of time to just relax. He was required to be doing something productive much of the time. I, on the other hand, was lazy and unmotivated due to very little expectations from my parents. I regret now not getting involved more as a child.
Post # 3
We really don’t have any at this point! We grew up in similar households, so that really isn’t an issue, and we had the same rules throughout our teen years, so we’re on the same page there. I think our only issue may be school districts; I don’t care, but he has a preference. (And since I don’t care, I’d just look for a home within that district, haha).
Post # 4
Me and SO were raised very similarly as far as structure and discipline, so we don’t have any point where we disagree. None that we’ve come across yet, anyway. We both agree on discipline, and that we’d prefer our children to be involved with extracurriculars, but we’d prefer that they pick out what they’d like to do instead of us.
Growing up, like your SO, me and my guy were always doing “productive” activities because the dominant parents were very Type-A. However, as children, our parents chose the activities we did. At 5, I began playing softball. I grew to really love it and excelled at it, but I what if my parents asked me what activities I’d like to do? What would I be great at now? It was a similar situation for my SO: he became proficient at piano and tap-dancing. I am in no way angry at my parents, because I know they wanted me to be active and healthy, and I was very young, but it’s something I wonder about.
I think a good balance of structure and self-expression is something every child could benefit from.
Post # 5
We agree on discipline and generally how we want to raise children. The only things we disagree on are the amount of TV/video games they’ll get to watch/play (I say they need to earn it, he says they should be able to when they want to) and drinking/smoking weed with them after a certain age. I don’t ever want to cross that boundary until they’re 18 but I don’t smoke either. He thinks it’ll be fine after 16 or so to do both with them.
I’m hoping he’ll change his mind in time since we don’t have kids yet and aren’t planning on it for at least a few years.