(Closed) What are/were your dealbreakers?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I could never date a guy who:


didn’t want kids

wasn’t ambitious–he should want to be successful, whether that means money, prestige, etc.,

was unheathily overweight/obese–I have enough body issues of my own and could not handle dating someone at an unhealthy weight (it’s shallow, I know…)

lived off fast food–I can’t stand fast food, it grosses me out

ditto @danadelphia on the racist/homophobic/sexist, didn’t read, and into hard drugs–all dealbreakers for me as well!


Post # 4
1109 posts
Bumble bee

Hrm.  I once had a crazy listing of things, and was told I needed to be less picky/lower my standards… Right.   He’d lose if he:


  • Wasn’t a nerd of some sort, gamer/techie preferred (because seriously, he needs to get my techno-geekery.  Madden does *not* count.)
  • Disliked fuzzies/scalies/flappies
  • Was racist/sexist/homophobic (because seriously, the only way I’d get it worse is if I were a guy)
  • Was a jerk (duh?)
  • Did drugs/drank/smoked heavily/regularly 
  • Couldn’t spell/used crazy IM speak (peeve!)
  • Bought into the “whitey keeps me down” so “education makes you a sellout” and I’m a “hardcore gangsta, yo” business. (Yes, there is racism.  No, it does not give you a free pass to not even try.  You grew up in an area more suburban than I did, why are you trying to act like you’re so tough?  I have bullet holes in my bathroom window, FFS.)
  • Hit on me by waddling up and mumbling.  (You’re so cocksure to buy into the urban-ghetto business, but you can’t enunciate.   Bugger off!)
  • Used waaay too much slang/not-English.  (I know our skin matches, but that doesn’t mean I automatically understand what is coming out of your mouth.  If English isn’t your first language, no problem.  If it is, big problem.)
  • Wore waaay too much cologne/body spray (Ew!)
  • Was possessive.  (Yes, I am awesome.  No, you can’t keep me on a tether.)
  • Had slept with anyone I knew (Most everyone from where I grew up knows each other…I don’t need the world in my business.)
  • Wasn’t open minded!  (Because I’m going to spend time with you, you’d better be willing to at least indulge my fancies)


Post # 5
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

wow. I never created a list of things, but most of what Hilsy85 said were things that I thought about.

Post # 6
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Ditto on the racism, hard drugs etc. 

Also, I could never be with someone who: 

– was a smoker

– didn’t have a job/clear vision of what he wanted in life and was working towards it

– was TOO focused on job (I work to finance my life; work is not my life. I need someone who feels the same). 

– was rude to me, my friends, or my family

– wasn’t just a little bit weird/quirky

– didn’t love dogs, and animals in general

– didn’t have some kind of hobby (I think me-time is important in a relationship)

– drank too much (to me too much = drunk more than a few times/year)

Post # 7
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’d never be with someone who wasn’t open minded. About race, religion, ethnicity, life choices, just anything.
Yeah, hard drugs are out too. And alcoholics/addicts – I have enough of my own baggage without taking on theirs as well.

Wow, I didn’t mean to sound that harsh….

Post # 8
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I never made a list. Never been on a blind date either so that might be why. I already knew the people I went on a date with. But I agree with you ladies on a lot of dealbreakers. 

Post # 9
2280 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I never consciously made a list, but these would be on it if there had been one:

-Smoking/any illegal drug use/addiction to other unhealthy vices (including WoW and porn)

-Mood disorders and mental illness

-Arrogance or aggressiveness

-Irresponsible or self-insufficient


-Incompatible beliefs/goals

Pretty basic.

Post # 10
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Ive never made a list but I guess the biggest thing was I could never be with a person that didnt get along with my family and friends.

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