(Closed) What aspects of wedding planning do you and your FI disagree over the most?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Husband-to-be and I are locking horns over...
    Wedding style/decor : (12 votes)
    17 %
    Venue : (5 votes)
    7 %
    Photography/videography : (5 votes)
    7 %
    Catering/beverage options : (5 votes)
    7 %
    Attire : (12 votes)
    17 %
    Guest list : (22 votes)
    32 %
    Stationery : (4 votes)
    6 %
    Bridal party : (4 votes)
    6 %
    Favours : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    1408 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @peonyinparis:  We havent had any disagreements, really. My Fiance has been very involved but he really has liked the ideas I have came up with. I have researched most things then give him two ideas that I like best. He picks the winner then we move onto the next. It has worked perfectly for us! Not one single wedding disagreement or fight and we have been engaged since last March! 

    Post # 4
    1846 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Our biggest area of contention is the budget (which is funny because we don’t even have a set budget). My Fiance is kind of cheap, and doesnt really know how much stuff costs. Whereas I am a spender and he kind of raises an eyebrow everytime I spend money for anything wedding related. 

    He also doesn’t really understand about gifts for the bridal party, or gifts for the parents, etc.. My gifts for my girls cost about $120 each, plus makeup and he nearly had a heart attach when he found out. If it wasn’t for me, I think he would have spent $5 per groomsmen and called it a day. 

    He doesn’t mind spending money on them, but just had no idea he was supposed to!

    Post # 5
    779 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    My problem is he doesn’t care at all… Haha he just jokes all he wants to know is what time to show up at the church.

    which I don’t mind. he’s a guys guy, I knew he wouldn’t be contributing a ton to the overall wedding experience, but it sure would be nice if he could just suck it up and PICK between 2 things if I ask him! Sheesh, it’s like pulling teeth.

    Do you like photo-invites or just plain paper ones?

    Oh I don’t know babe, whatever you like.

    Do you like my hair up or down?

    You look nicE either way, babe.

    Do you like this venue or that one?

    Theyre both cool. I’ll like whatever you pick.

    Do you want live music or just recorded stuff?

    I don’t know babe, It’s your day; not mine.

    ahhfjfj stop being so nice! Haha, i need a buffer zone or Somethibg to bounce ideas off of! Oh well, I have girlfriends for that I guess, but it is HIS wedding too. I thought he’d want to contribute a LITTLE.. Lol. What a guy. 😛

    Post # 6
    8695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We havent had an actual disagreement but we do not see eye to eye on the style of the wedding nor the guest list (size).

    Post # 8
    6355 posts
    Bee Keeper

    So far, no major disagreements… the biggest thing was that he doesn’t like transparent lace sleeves on bridal gowns, whereas I thougnt they looked nice and was considering them (but not anymore, now that I know how he feels!)

    I’m sure other stuff will come up, but nothing big, I imagine.

    Post # 9
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @silkspectre94:  My Fiance is the same way and it starting to drive me crazy. his favorite thing to say whatever you want babe. I just wish he would give his opinion on something.

    Post # 10
    9181 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    He was not a fan of spending $2500 on a photographer.  We have several friends who have nice cameras and will take a bunch of pictures, but I wanted somebody official who will be guaranteed to capture all the important moments and people!  In the end he was like “Well it’s your parents’ money so whatever you want is fine.”  Good enough.

    Besides that, we have very similar visions although I do about 90% of the planning.  He’s happy to just go along with it and either be excited about the details that I plan, or pretend to be  🙂


    Post # 11
    3769 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    So far we’ve mostly been in agreement on everything.  One item of contention was our invitations, which in early design phases I didn’t design too well, and his personality wasn’t incorporated enough.  To be honest, our final design doesn’t have a lot of “him” in it, but we both really like the new design.  Another thing that has come up that we originally were both on board with was our rehearsal dinner location and catering… and then my mom made some new suggestions that I’m interestedin, but he still wants to go with the original plan.

    Post # 12
    1098 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    He doesn’t have an opinion on anything, he’s a “whatever makes you happy makes me happy” kind of guy which is great because I have very strong opinions on everything for the wedding so it’s nice not to have to take anyones elses opinion into consideration. His only requests so far has been that the shoes I pick out for him be vegan and no light grey suits because they wash him out.

    Post # 13
    1075 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    It’s not really any one area of planning that we disagree on, but it’s more of just a general issue that really pisses me off. We had an agreement before we started planning that I would plan everything, literally by myself for certain reasons. So I created a massive calendar that spaced out tasks perfectly to minimize stress. Every time I let him know that it’s time for a certain task, like creating the registries, or talking to photographers, he threw fits and complained, and questioned why we had to do things so early, etc. Keep in mind that he knows NOTHING about wedding planning or timelines. We’ve been engaged almost a year now, and it makes me SO FREAKING MAD that he still gives me a hard time. I don’t nag, I give him plenty of notice, I’m sensitive to his own personal schedules, but he just always questions my decisions.


    Sorry to threadjack, but any other Bees have that problem with their FI? I’d love some advice on how to handle the situation whenever it comes up.


    Also, this doesn’t really count as a disagreement because the decision is ultimately up to him, so I don’t give him any grief over it: Men’s Attire. I really want him to wear a charcoal gray tuxedo and his guys to wear slate gray. He wants all the men to wear classic black tuxedos.



    Post # 14
    2122 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

    I chose ‘other’.

    We disagreed over the length of the wedding reception. He wanted it done after 2 hours, I wanted an into-the-night party as you go down to stragglers and get drunk. He told me I was being like a college girl and that I should grow up (ouch!) and be considerate of guests that don’t want to be there as long as I do. I’ve since come round and we’ve set the reception for 2 hours, with an optional 2 hour after party. Our wedding will be in the morning and all we will say goodbye to guests by 5pm.

    Post # 15
    1463 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We disagree on the size of the wedding guest. I wanted 100 but he is adamant that he wants 250 to 350 people.

    The topic ‘What aspects of wedding planning do you and your FI disagree over the most?’ is closed to new replies.

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