Post # 1
Within the past 12 months, I have been the Bride, 2x a Maid/Matron of Honor (one for a wedding that got called off!), and 1x a Bridesmaid or Best Man.
In all of the weddings someone in the Bride’s family has seemed insistant on making the Bride’s life miserable (through irrational and downright thoughtless or sometimes mean comments or actions). Why?! For my wedding, it was my Mom. For my friend A, it was her and her fiance’s parents, for my friend S it is her sister, and for my friend D, it was her Mom and Dad.
On my outdoor wedding day it poured, in fact it was more of a monsoon changing all of our plans, and creating a wet soppy – power-out inducing mess. On my friend D’s, the wind swept glasses off the table shattering them, and forcing us inside. My friend A’s was called off. My friend S’s has yet to happen. But for all of us so far – it was the family drama while planning that made things more traumatic than any of the wedding day disasters.
I don’t think my ladies and I are a particularly demanding group of brides or prone to drama, so my q to all of you is, what bummed you out most? Was it the same stupid unnecessary family drama? Or are/were there other things?
Happily married, but still witnessing others wedding drama,
Post # 3
My in-laws! My Future Sister-In-Law insited on being in the wedding and have made my life hell since. I just love how they wanted to be in it but don’t like me and resume to go dress shopping or participate in any activities wedding related.
Post # 4
Both our mothers contributed to a little bit of drama. His mother and almost all of his family left early at the reception (which ended at 9:50, not that late) and weren’t there for our sparkler send-off. My mother didn’t need to but insisted on checking up on the caterers, florists, and other decorations and was upset she wasn’t it a lot of pictures. Both of them wish they could re-do the wedding which bothers me because they didn’t see the need to enjoy the wedding at the time.
Post # 5
right now, the biggest bummer is that I’m consumed with doing wedding things. and time into this takes away from projects I want to do on the house and just spend time enjoying spring together. its a lot of work haha.
i’ve been buying more and DIYing less which is fine. I love everything we’re doing, but we’re 3.5 mo. out and I’m ready for it to be here so we can get back to normal haha
My mom hadn’t been real helpful. That was a bummer. She’s getting better though. She’s actually fighting with her sibilings which is huge bummer. I’m ignoring it though and my aunts/uncles have been nothing but suportive and excited for me still. but still makes it awkward.
(I like this post! haha)
Post # 6
We had a groomsman that made our lives miserable while planning. I’ll try to keep it short, but basically, after he HAPPILY accepted my husband’s invitation to be a groomsman in our wedding and wishing us so many congratulations saying how happy he was to be a part of it, he got really weird and immature and refused to call or e-mail us. He also started spreading weird rumors about us and our wedding that were downright mean and very, very untrue. It was awful. It finally got to a point where my husband had to ask him to step down because the relationship was ruined anyway, and he told US that we were the bad guys ruining our own wedding (or something? what he said made no sense). Ever since he was cut out, planning was pretty much smooth sailing, and we wished we had done it when we heard the first rumor he started about us to save ourselves months and months of headaches and tears.
Weddings bring out weird emotions in people. We later found out from a mutual friend that this groomsman admitted to some people he was jealous of our wedding and our relationship (he’s married to a pretty awful woman that no one in the family likes). It just seemed so stupid that this guy threw away a 20-year relationship over something as stupid as jealous and immaturity.
Post # 7
This is a great question. I am not married yet – I still have several months and thus far everything has been bliss. I hope I am not jinx’ing it My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor and she is the only one that lives near us. Other than that all our families plus our wedding party and guests are all out of town. IMO the distance between all of us has been a huge help. In saying that I will admit that I am sad my sister isn’t more involved. She actually isn’t involved at all. She is 10 yrs older than me and I don’t know if her lack of involvement is b/c she doesn’t know what her “MOH” responsibilities are or what. Regardless its ok, my BM’s have stepped up to the plate and its all working out in the long run…
Post # 8
@Miss Chapstick- Wow! That is very sad. I agree, weddings do bring out weird emotions in people. I wonder why? A similar thing happened to my best friend.
Post # 9
What hasn’t been a bummer? Anything that could go worng for us, has since day one. Fiance stopped talking to his parents and family after a big fight, my mother stopped talking to her family, we changed our wedding from a huge affair where we live to a destination wedding, so more people are unlikely to make it but we’re happier doing it this way. My bridal party don’t really like each other, we can’t get all the guys to commit for sure yet (my wedding is in 5 MONTHS BTW), everything is an argument with someone and my sister who is my Maid/Matron of Honor has been miserable throughout the entire thing!!!
Post # 10
Definately family drama!!! Why?! Its so embarassing, my Fi’s family has been super supportive and genuinely happy for us but my family, oh no, trouble! Just trouble! My sister dropped out of the wedding and now has decided not to go, she brainwashed my brother into thinking my wedding is dramatic which it isnt so now he is taking her side. My mom came with me to get my dress last night and said it was ‘just nice, not like wow beautiful or anything’. Now I know why they make movies with family drama around weddings because its reality!!!
Post # 12
Oh and my BMs all stink, my poor matron of honor is doing everything for the shower herself, the other girls are all unreliable or just dont even care
Post # 13
@bridegrl – yea totally! I forgot about that one. that one adds to family drama too, no? D’s wedding drama largely revolved around her Mom and Dad being b*itchy (seriously that had the poor bride in tears AFTER the reception still pissing and moaning about it) because FH’s family wasn’t contributing. Same with A’s fam drama!
@jackie-o – your outlook re: your sister is awesome. i think a lot of drama happens because we have expectations of people then when they act not in line with those expectations, we get bent out of shape. way to not take things personally! =)
Post # 14
My mom’s been a huge pain in the ass, but she’s like that most of the time regardless of wedding planning. LOL
Trying to plan a wedding when Fiance lost his job was interesting.
I’d have to say the guest list has been the most difficult part of the process though.
Post # 15
Hm, I’m not married yet.. but so far my two biggest “bums” are having to chose a more traditional hall (I wanted to have the reception at a historic hotel, or an art museum, or the botanical gardens – but couldn’t afford it) and the second was having to choose another church. The first one was SO beautiful and perfect.
My sister is making my life a nightmare most days, but that’s sort of expected – not really a “bummer” ha!
Post # 16
The guest list kind of bums me out because I not only am splitting it between my fiance and I but also my parents are divorced and my mother remarried so I am having to be very diplomatic about things.