(Closed) What can a bride ask you to alter for her wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Would you ask a bridesmaid to tan?

    Yes, I am paying for pictures and everyone needs to be beach brown in the late fall.

    Yes, I would ask but not be mad if she refused, I just want my friend to help me celebrate my day.

    No, I want everyone to be comfortable and to look like themselves that day

    No, back out of that wedding now, she's going to be even crazier closer to the wedding date!!!

  • Post # 31
    Member
    804 posts
    Busy bee

    No, no, and again, no. Perfectly reasonable to refuse!

    Post # 32
    Member
    766 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    That’s insane. I’ll be tanning for my own wedding but there’s no way I would ever ask any of my bridesmaids to change the color of their skin just for photos. They’re there because they’re my friends, not because they photograph well. 

    Post # 33
    Member
    7309 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    What can a bride ask a maid to alter for said bride’s wedding? Not a damn thing. Maids are people, not barbie dolls. It’s about time brides started remembering what friendship actually means. Just… ugh. That makes my blood boil for you.

    Post # 34
    Member
    2211 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Heck no.  Not a reasonable request.  I’m nearly vampiric in my paleness, and if a friend asked me to be a bridesmaid it would totally be a WYSIWYG situation.  I would not risk getting skin cancer for anyone.

    Post # 35
    Member
    7643 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    No. I wouldn’t spray tan, and I sure as heck wouldn’t tan in a bed, even if the bride paid for it. Some brides are seriously taking it too far nowdays.

    Post # 36
    Member
    621 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    View original reply
    @megz06  I agree!

    Even if the bride offered to pay for the spray tan I would still refuse. She knew what color your skin was before she asked you to be a bridesmaid, if she wanted you to have a different skin color she shouldn’t have asked to you be in her wedding in the first place (as messed up as that is).

    Post # 37
    Member
    1998 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    That’s just silly. Asking a bridesmaid to wear a certain dress is one thing but to “wear a certain skin”, so to speak, is a whole different story! Just explain to her what you told us. If she can’t accept that, she’s not much of a friend, I’m afraid.

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 4 months ago by  MsMeow.
    Post # 38
    Member
    554 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    View original reply
    @Orchid71  In no way are you being a bad friend. I think it is incredibly insulting and disrespectful to ask someone to change their skin tone for a wedding. Her photographs won’t mean as much anyway if everyone in them is pissed off at her. She needs to do some major reprioritizing.

    Post # 39
    Member
    1166 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    “Hey, I need you to increase your chances of skin cancer and age your skin faster so you’ll be the right color for my pretty princess party photos!” WHAT. NO. 

    Post # 40
    Member
    1443 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Wow, her request is WAY over the top!  I am also not a fan of spray tanning; on so many people it just looks so fake.  If *you* feel too pale in your short dress, I recommend “Airbrush Legs” by Sally Hansen.  I use this in the summer to bring me from scary Oregon Pale to Acceptable Pale.  I would never risk skin cancer or chemical exposure for anyone.

    Post # 42
    Member
    806 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Yikes!  I didn’t ask my girls to do any altering…..mostly because I just didn’t care how they wore their hair or what kind of shoes, much less their skin tone.    Funny story, I’m near 6 foot, and years ago, an old friend asked me to be in her bridal party, and then confided that she was concerned her “row” would look off because of me being so big (not tall…big).  But she said she was going to “try to get over it”.  Was she hoping I’d shrink for her?

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 4 months ago by  .
    Post # 43
    Member
    4038 posts
    Honey bee

    I’m into civil disobedience. I say dye your hair purple, on the morning of the wedding.

    Post # 44
    Member
    4697 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    But, its her special day and you’re the wrong skin tone.. how are her pictures supposed to look good if you’re in them without a tan?!!

    Actually though, how ridiculous. I wouldn’t be doing this, not necessarily because I’m against tanned skin, but because I am against being told to change my physical appearance by someone who calls themself my friend.

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 4 months ago by  KC-2722.

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