(Closed) What can a bride ask you to alter for her wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Would you ask a bridesmaid to tan?

    Yes, I am paying for pictures and everyone needs to be beach brown in the late fall.

    Yes, I would ask but not be mad if she refused, I just want my friend to help me celebrate my day.

    No, I want everyone to be comfortable and to look like themselves that day

    No, back out of that wedding now, she's going to be even crazier closer to the wedding date!!!

  • Post # 76
    4042 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I can’t believe there are real brides who actually make such requests…

    Tell her no. If she continues to have issues, then I’d assume you’re up there as a prop and I’d step down. Being a bridesmaid should not cause stress.

    Post # 77
    168 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply
    Orchid71:  I’m fairly pale. Even a natural tan looks weird on me. Needless to say, tanning products and I don’t get along. I was a bridesmaid, the bride put her foot down and said I had to get a spray tan.

    I did a trial for her bachelorette. Lightest shade available. When I arrived at the party looking like an oompa loompa, she decided I didn’t have to have a spray tan after all. 

    I don’t think a bride should enforce a tan, be it real or sprayed. You choose bridesmaids because of who they are, not what they look like. Sheesh…

    Post # 81
    1230 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Wow, I would never ask anyone to tan. Ever. For any reason.

    Post # 82
    772 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle

    View original reply
    Orchid71:  LOLs! It would serve her right if you came out oompa loompa orange and ruined the photos! You could scare her all day by asking if she needs help with her dress with your orange orange hands. 


    Post # 83
    959 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    This just makes me lol. My bridesmaids all asked me if I wanted them to be tan for the wedding. I was so confused why they would all ask that. I am white. I mean pale, fair skinned, white. I don’t tan or use any tanning products. During the summer I wear sun screen and if I tan so be it (I burn long before that happens). So I told them all to just do what they wanted. I wasn’t going to tan for my wedding and I didn’t. I didn’t want to look any different on my wedding than I do in real life. Tanning isn’t me. My pictures didn’t look bad and no one said anything about my skin tone. I can’t believe people ask their bridesmaids to tan. Crazy.

    Post # 84
    1881 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Seriously, that is a crazy request. I understand hair, makeup, jewelry, shoes – but things like skin tone and hair color… nope. Seriously, can’t she just let you wear some bronzer rather than having to coat your body in nasty chemicals?

    Post # 85
    7362 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Orchid71:  Then why did you accept being a Bridesmaid or Best Man when it doesn’t sound like you are partiiculary close anyway?

    I defintely wouldn’t do this. 

    Post # 87
    8570 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    No, I don’t think it’s okay to ask someone to change their skin color. If we keep letting brides get away with something like this, soon pastey white brides are going to want their bridesmaids to lighten their skin!

    Post # 88
    989 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    View original reply
    Orchid71:  my work colleague is going through this exact same thing right now! She is bridesmaid for her friend next year and has already been told she MUST have a spray tan for the wedding!  My colleague absolutely hates them as they always turn her orange… It’s really stressing her out and the bride(zilla) is insisting it’s non negotiable. 

    Personally, I would never even dream of asking my girls to do anything like this – I would much rather they felt comfortable and pretty in their own skin on the day!

    Post # 89
    643 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    View original reply
    AnotherMrsBrown:  alabaster glory, this made me LOL! I’m also pale, a redhead and 5’9″! 😛

    Post # 90
    4885 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I would never ask my Bridal Party to do something like that, but if they wanted to – great! I am a PA for a friend who is getting married at the end of May. She tans ALL the time, and uses bronzer like it’s going out of style – it actually looks bad since we live in a very cold winter climate and you know the ones who fake bake. But anyway, if I was one of her BM’s, I would probably want to so that I wouldn’t look so albino next to her.

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