Post # 76
I can’t believe there are real brides who actually make such requests…
Tell her no. If she continues to have issues, then I’d assume you’re up there as a prop and I’d step down. Being a bridesmaid should not cause stress.
Post # 77
I’m fairly pale. Even a natural tan looks weird on me. Needless to say, tanning products and I don’t get along. I was a bridesmaid, the bride put her foot down and said I had to get a spray tan.
I did a trial for her bachelorette. Lightest shade available. When I arrived at the party looking like an oompa loompa, she decided I didn’t have to have a spray tan after all.
I don’t think a bride should enforce a tan, be it real or sprayed. You choose bridesmaids because of who they are, not what they look like. Sheesh…
Post # 78
I have only ever met two of the other 7 girls, and they look pretty different from each other and from me. I think it’s a pretty mixed bunch, but I’m not sure if any of the other girls are big time tanners. I do suspect many of these barely maintained friendships are for their benefit of inviting people for gifts and to baby things when they try to have kids (which sounds like it will be right after the wedding). I have a feeling if I stick it out for this wedding I really won’t see or hear much from her afterward until its time to bring gifts for the next party or life event for them.
Post # 79
I’m not a big fan of the chemicals used in spray tanning (and organic ones cost even more). Also any darkening of my skin (spary tans, lotions, etc.) can mess with my laser results….should I have had to wait an extra year to start something I have been saving for and want to be completed with by the time of my own wedding just because she is getting married this year? Should her other Bridesmaid or Best Man wait another year to TTC? I’ll be there for the shower, bachelorette, rehearsal, wedding, and any of the days prior needed to help set up or make favors/decorations, do I need to give her an entire year? I started laser at the same time she asked me to be in the wedding and had been planning on doing it for over a year before I started.
Post # 80
I think the overwhelming response to this gives me peace of mind in telling her no. I will update if simply telling her no again does not work. Thanks everyone for the input!
Post # 81
Wow, I would never ask anyone to tan. Ever. For any reason.
Post # 82
- Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle
LOLs! It would serve her right if you came out oompa loompa orange and ruined the photos! You could scare her all day by asking if she needs help with her dress with your orange orange hands.
Post # 83
This just makes me lol. My bridesmaids all asked me if I wanted them to be tan for the wedding. I was so confused why they would all ask that. I am white. I mean pale, fair skinned, white. I don’t tan or use any tanning products. During the summer I wear sun screen and if I tan so be it (I burn long before that happens). So I told them all to just do what they wanted. I wasn’t going to tan for my wedding and I didn’t. I didn’t want to look any different on my wedding than I do in real life. Tanning isn’t me. My pictures didn’t look bad and no one said anything about my skin tone. I can’t believe people ask their bridesmaids to tan. Crazy.
Post # 84
Seriously, that is a crazy request. I understand hair, makeup, jewelry, shoes – but things like skin tone and hair color… nope. Seriously, can’t she just let you wear some bronzer rather than having to coat your body in nasty chemicals?
Post # 85
Orchid71: Then why did you accept being a Bridesmaid or Best Man when it doesn’t sound like you are partiiculary close anyway?
I defintely wouldn’t do this.
Post # 86
She asked me in person and it felt awkward saying no (in hindsight that was not a good reason to say yes). I also didn’t think I’d be contemplating a skin color change so it didn’t seem like terrible thing to agree to do.
Post # 87
No, I don’t think it’s okay to ask someone to change their skin color. If we keep letting brides get away with something like this, soon pastey white brides are going to want their bridesmaids to lighten their skin!
Post # 88
my work colleague is going through this exact same thing right now! She is bridesmaid for her friend next year and has already been told she MUST have a spray tan for the wedding! My colleague absolutely hates them as they always turn her orange… It’s really stressing her out and the bride(zilla) is insisting it’s non negotiable.
Personally, I would never even dream of asking my girls to do anything like this – I would much rather they felt comfortable and pretty in their own skin on the day!
Post # 89
alabaster glory, this made me LOL! I’m also pale, a redhead and 5’9″! 😛
Post # 90
I would never ask my Bridal Party to do something like that, but if they wanted to – great! I am a PA for a friend who is getting married at the end of May. She tans ALL the time, and uses bronzer like it’s going out of style – it actually looks bad since we live in a very cold winter climate and you know the ones who fake bake. But anyway, if I was one of her BM’s, I would probably want to so that I wouldn’t look so albino next to her.