Post # 1
I was in a 4 year relationship with this guy, we decided to breakup because I was becoming suspiscious of a very close female friend of his, he insisted it was nothing but did nothing to prevent it. 4 months later (December) we decided to start talking again but never left the talking stage (you know this generation). I later found out (in like March) he did have a thing with this female, while we were talking and they had sexual interocurse multiple times with each other. It started before we started talking again but he didn’t stop after we did start talking again. In the heat of the moment I cut things off with him and spent a month crying after being devastated about this. We were never really in a relationship. I decided to start asking him about to see if it would make me help come to a decision. He explained that he was using her in hopes of getting over me, but each time he only became more disgusted with himself and later cut her off all together. He insists he’s changed and that he never meant to hurt me and that he’d do anything I need just to regain his trust even if it means we stay as friends. I told him I needed another break from him and just be to myself so I can think things through. I really love him and we were both saving ourselves for our marriage but now I don’t know if I could ever after knowing what he did with someone else. He insists he knows it wasn’t love and that he was thinking with his hormones instead of his heart and that he would take it all back if he could. What should I do?
Post # 2
There is only one thing to do. Cut contact and move on.
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2018 - Vaughan, ON
Keep moving forward. If he lied back then and wasnt honest with you…then hes shown you the type of man he is. Dont set yourself up for heartache in the future. Some guys will always tell you what you want to hear….thats how they get what they want.
Find someone who agrees with your morals and who shows you nothing but respect. Want better for yourself. Sometimes infatuation with a person can be confused with love, but when you take a step back and evaluate..youll see the light.
Your instincts told you yourself. Trust yourself and your gut.
Post # 4
I’m sorry bee, but whatever you do, he can’t take it all back. Your relationship has irrevocably changed.
That doesn’t mean it has to end – up to you – but realize that either way, you’ll have to work hard to create a new normal and either start rebuilding trust or start moving on.
Post # 5
Bee, this is not going to be a situation where you wiill ever be able to trust him again. It’s okay to move on. Find someone who wouldn’t go behind your back like that.
Post # 6
When I broke up with my ex because he was emotionally and verbally abusive and manipulative, he kept begging me not to leave. He kept repeating, “I can change, I promise. I’m so good at changing. I will change and not be that person anymore.”
And then I realized… even if he COULD change, which I don’t think is possible, I still didn’t want that. I would much rather be with someone else and have a fresh start without this horrible past. I knew that I would never be able to forgive him or move past it, and that I’d rather my future be with someone with whom I don’t have a dark cloud over the past.
There are a lot of fish in the sea — and all but one hasn’t betrayed you, broken your mutual commitment for celibacy until marriage (not something that’s personally important to me, but if it matters to you and he proclaimed to feel the same way, that’s very hurtful I’m sure), led you on while sleeping with another girl. You will find someone who you can have a new relationship with, one without these doubts and fears and bad memories and hurt. It’s time to leave this one behind and move forward.
Hugs, bee. I know this is hard.
Post # 7
It sounds as if he had at the very least an emotional affair with this woman while you were still very much together. If not more.
At this stage of your life, I would never have started talking to him again at all. What’s going to happen next time an attractive woman pays attention to him, only this time you have three kids and a mortgage?
Post # 8
Nah. All that blah blah blah bullshit- he just told you he is the kind of person to USE one woman’s body to help him get over another. Which, I know people may do but it’s hella disrespectful of both you and her AND the fact that he thought telling you something like that would get you back means he thinks you are okay with him disrespecting other women- so long as you get him back.
Fuck that. Fuck him. He’s a dirtbag. Delete. You aren’t that desperate. I promise you.