What can I do about this person?

posted 5 days ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Scotts ~ Walnut Creek 5/10/15

What I would have done was blocked him from all lines of communication. What I would have done was reported him to the police as a stalker when a strange package arrived at my home. Whether I could prove it was him at the time would have been irrelevant, at least the issue would be on record. What I would have done was taken out a restraining order as soon as he showed up in my city, NOT gone out to meet this nut. I don’t understand any part of that decision. Hell I don’t even see why you kept him on FB for so long.

Block him from all forms of communication possible including text messages, report his behavior to the police and look into filing a restraining order for harrassment/stalking.

Post # 3
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2020

Uh ya. I cannot by any stretch of my mind understand why you agreed to meet this man in person after his blatant stalking. Block him on all forms of communication. Do not ever respond if he finds a way through, just block him again. If he shows up or sends anything to your home, contact the police. At this point your partner is right though. There is nothing to do but live your lives. And carry mace from now on. 

Post # 5
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Scotts ~ Walnut Creek 5/10/15

throwmefaraway :  Understandable. For peace of mind I would still create a paper trail since he’s shown a pattern of backing off for awhile and restarting harrassment. It can’t hurt to have everything, and I mean tell them every past detail, on record. I also like the suggestion of mace made above. Take care of yourself.

Post # 6
Member
223 posts
Helper bee

Comment moderated for TOS violation 

Post # 8
Member
223 posts
Helper bee

throwmefaraway :  you do have reasons to be afraid of this person,  don’t get me wrong.  I’d be blocking him in every possible avenue. 

However,  “being in a bad place mentally/clinically depressed” is an odd excuse to put yourself in such a vulnerable position. I can’t link the two…..

If you said you had a dependent personality disorder or you were in a manic phase that would stick…. but depression does not push you engage in risky behaviors…..

 

Post # 10
Member
223 posts
Helper bee

That makes more sense. 

I hope your on meds so your judgment isn’t impaired like that again.  

Best of luck

Post # 13
Member
1142 posts
Bumble bee

Depression absolutely pushes people to engage in risky behaviors. That’s the whole premise behind being suicidal. OP, don’t listen to that hogwash; yes, it’s ridiculous that you went to see this guy, but I understand why depression could’ve put you in the position to do it. Regardless, it’s over and done now. 

NOW you’re questioning if it’s really the right thing to contact the police about this, as though it’s not “that serious yet.” It sounds pretty damn serious to me, and with your propensity to question your own feelings in this (and thus put yourself into dangerous situations with this guy), you have all the more reason to do everything possible to keep him from ever contacting you again. 

Post # 15
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

The victim-blaming going on in this thread is abhorrent. GTFO of here with that.

i don’t have any advice, but I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Pity and fear makes us do weird things (I thought my stalker would kill himself if I didn’t show interest. It wasn’t until years later I realized the danger I was in). I would probably create a paper trail at this point, idk how seriously they’ll take you since nothing is recent. How terrifying to realize he’s still checking in on you. 

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