(Closed) What changed once you got engaged?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 18
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t necessarily see a change but my mom thinks that we are a lot happier. She thinks we are joking more and seem more comfortable with each other (this is crazy because we already had a house so I don’t see how). Maybe my Fiance is just more willing to be affectionate when she is around.

 

Post # 19
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I moved in when we got engaged, so a lot changed because of that.  I notice a lot more people looking at my hand. Strangers in stores ask me when the day is.  Women who know they’re not getting invited (friends of friends I barely know, people I just met) quiz me about everything and ask for advice about random things like band or DJ. 

We’ve learned how good we are at delegating different tasks. Hubs took over the honeymoon, DJ, and a few other things while I tackled the photographer, Reverand, and such.

When we got engaged I started calling him hubs, hubbily, my ‘ance (fiance). He calls me his wifey, and often turns to me and says, “You’re going to be my WIFE.”

Getting engaged really put a crunch on the house hunt. We want to move before the wedding.

We learned a lot more about how we each spend our downtime and are working to develop individual and couples hobbies.

Post # 20
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Nothing! Thats how it should be! We talk about the future a lot more, and we are planning a wedding! but other then that we have a great relationship, we are both very happy which is how we were before we got engaged L)

Post # 21
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Not much really… other than saying fiance instead of boyfriend!

Post # 22
Member
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Things changed between us, but it was very subtle. To put it simply, I went from thinking we would spend our lives together to knowing we were, and that small shift makes all the difference. The good and the bad. As in, I get to spend the rest of my life listening to that laugh! *Happy Sigh* And, I have to spend the rest of my life listening to him eat??? *Horrified sigh* lol!

 

No, but seriously, it all changed for the better. I have such an amazing feeling of love and security that I want to wrap myself in it all the time! The feeling of “this is it” is unmatched when its right.

I will say that our families say that things are different. My family says that my Fiance is more affectionate towards him, and his family says that I am more loving towards them. I guess our brains both shifted to each others family being our own family once we were engaged.

Post # 23
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Well the biggest thing for me was that we stopped arguing about not being engaged 🙂 any built up resentment I had for waiting for what felt like forever (4 1/2 years, but now I am so glad we waited) went away. He has definetly changed, he just seems happier, less stressed, more loving and more settled. We are better then ever, we are having fun wedding planning. I agree with Bellagiobride, it just now it’s more certain, it feels different. I am loving it.

Post # 24
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

For us a few things changed.  

First, engagement is a weird, transitional time.  You’re not just dating, but you’re not married.  You’re about to enter into a huge, life long commitment and, it can be a little overwhelming when it first happens.  Sometimes, you just need to embrace the way you feel: ecstatic, terrified, and maybe extra emotional if you’re like I was.  

Next, planning a wedding is definitely an added bit of stress, especially if you already have a really busy life.  I’m a lawyer, and I was working crazy hours and Darling Husband and I were long distance, so we were flying back and forth.  It was kind of hard for Darling Husband to help with wedding stuff as we didn’t live in the same town and our wedding was in a 3rd location.  This led to me sometimes feeling overwhelmed and alone when it came to wedding prep.  Also, you can’t stop thinking about the wedding so you have to be careful to make sure you and Fiance still talk about other things and have fun together.

Third, I felt even more secure and loved.  Even though you’re not married yet, being engaged and sporting that diamond made me feel extra secure in our relationship, and we were definitely more connected, for lack of a better word.  I guess it’s because you’re starting that whole “two shall become one” thing.  🙂  

Last, since we were LD, it became way, WAY harder to be in different cities.  It was so much harder than when we were dating.  I don’t know why, but it was.  We just wanted to be together and start our life in the same place!

Engagement is full of emotions, stresses, ups and downs.  I think for us, we were both relieved when we were married and the whirlwind of engagement was over.  That said, I treasure the memories of that year and wouldn’t trade our wedding for the world!  Enjoy it and try not to let it make you crazy.

 

(And, yes, marriage is another change all over again!  It’s weird how a relationship between the same people can change so often!)

Post # 25
Member
6245 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

When Fiance proposed, the “planning ball” was back in my court. Between Fiance and I, I’m the planner in our relationship. He just goes with the flow… of whatever I plan for us to do. These roles work for us. So when I was “waiting” it was really difficult because I had no control over the planning and execution of the proposal. Now that he proposed, I am once again able to fulfill my role as the planner in our relationship. And let me tell you, planning the wedding has kept me mighty busy.

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