Post # 1
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
What are the little or big things that changed in your and your fiance/husband’s family dynamics, traditions or behaviors since you got engaged or married? It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic. I’m just curious to see if they treat you differently now. 🙂
I’ll go first:
We got to host our first holiday! We got Christmas assigned to us last year and it was so much fun! We had asked to host a holiday before we got engaged but didn’t get one then.
FH’s cousin instructed her sons to call me auntie. It is kind of weird to suddenly be called auntie by two 19 year olds, lol! The first time, cousin knocked on son 1’s door and called: “Come say hello to auntie!” I thought, who is auntie? Then he walked out and asked “Who is auntie?” So I guess we are equally confused by that.
Post # 3
Member
3221 posts
Sugar bee
@AprilJo2011:Aw, I love that – auntie!!
Um…I’d say the main thing that’s changed is our outlook on future. Before we were engaged, we avoided a whole lot of ‘serious’ decisions like putting our bank accounts together, planning big moves, etc.
Now that we’re engaged, we don’t feel silly doing those things. For example, we just moved 500 miles away from our hometown to make our own lives together! Before we were engaged, we would have never done that.
Post # 4
Member
5103 posts
Bee Keeper
@AprilJo2011: Actually there isn’t a whole lot that’s changed…
FI’s niece and nephew have always called me “Aunt Mrs.tobe”, they’re so young they don’t know the difference because I’ve pretty much always been there since they were born.
BUT, his family did already start referring to me as his wife…lol
And Fiance has always said “As far as I’m concerned we’re already married” And he gave me a “wife card” for Valentine’s Day this year. It was perfect. I swear I teared up.
Here’s a link to the card if you’re interested 🙂
Okay, so I’m a TOTAL sap.
Post # 5
Member
3977 posts
Honey bee
His adult niece and nephew haven’t called me aunt. That will be weird. Especially since I’m less than 10 years older than them, lol.
My nieces and nephew call him Uncle though, but they’re still little.
I actually felt like a wife for the first time last week. We were planning a party with some church people that Fiance leads a discussion group for and a couple of the women came up to me and said, “Wow, we’re so glad you’re here. Now you can help us plan for these things.” It’s apparently an inborn gender talent to organize party menus, lol.
Post # 6
Member
5571 posts
Bee Keeper
FI’s family has always treated me like family so not a lot has changed but his brothers (19 and 21) call me sister now….like they forgot my real name haha. They think it’s funny and it’s really cute because they’re really protective like biological brothers would be too.
My parents treatment of Fiance has changed a lot. They always accepted him and treated him well but I think that they are relieved that there’s a set in stone commitment now and they open up a lot more around him.
This isn’t new but Fiance has 2 nephews, 2 and 4. I’ve been around since just before the youngest one was born. A few weeks ago we were hanging out with his family and the older one was talking to me while we were playing (I’ve become his favorite :)) and he asked me what it was like when he was born. I told him I don’t know because I wasn’t there and he didn’t believe me! He kept saying things like “Yes you were silly, why wouldnt you be there when I was born?” and “But you’ve always been here” and it made me feel really special that he doesn’t remember a time when Fiance was without me in his life!
Post # 7
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
I feel closer to my DH since we’ve been married. I feel that our relationship is as strong as ever.
Post # 8
Member
5117 posts
Bee Keeper
I think there’s more of an automatic ‘us’ mentality now, rather than thinking of the two of us separately in a relationship. For example, Mr.ND knew that I was considering a summer position that would be amazing and a great opportunity, but since I’d get school credit for it I’d have to pay instead of get a paycheck. He automatically told me to go for it, since it can help us stay in our desired location in the future and since he has a job now with his degree he’ll make sure I’m fine this summer.
It probably would have ended up the same even if we weren’t engaged, but now it’s just an assumption, it’s ‘what’s best for us?’ and ‘what can I do to make your life better/easier/more comfortable?’ I love it 🙂
Post # 9
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
Before we were married, his SMIL never really asked ME what I wanted to eat or drink, only directed those questions to DH. Not that she didn’t like me, she just focused on making DH comfortable all teh time and figured it was DH’s job to make me comfortable. Now that we’re married it’s the opposite, she caters to me more and assumes I will cater to DH. So he was the primary family contact before marriage and now I am.
My parents treat us exactly the same.. so no changes there.
Post # 10
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
I didn’t think anything had changed, but then I realized that I’m much more “okay” with her going places without me. I know it sounds kind of possessive, and I don’t mean it that way, but we always used to do everything together. (Well, for the most part.) Now I’m totally okay with her going out with her friends to play pool and me just staying home and getting into bed. I did it last night, actually! It’s like there’s an unspoken security that wasn’t there before.
Post # 11
Member
4581 posts
Honey bee
I feel like we’re closer and generally get along better (unless we’re talking about wedding planning!), Our talks about the future hold more meaning because there’s no doubt we’ll be together. And we also hosted our first holiday last year, a couple of months after getting engaged: we had both sets of parents and my Future Sister-In-Law over for Thanksgiving!