Post # 46
- Wedding: June 2017 - Grandover Resort
Our entire bridal party (about 24 people total) is paying for their dresses ($150) & renting their tuxedos which includes shoes shirt bow tie etc ($150).
We’re buying the bridesmaids shoes, paying for a hair stylist, & barber to come to our dressing rooms the morning of to do hair. Then of course we’re giving lots of gifts!!
Also, about half of our bridal party is from different states… NY, Cali, Arizona, FL, Georgia (we’re in NC), so they’ll also be paying for their travel expenses.
So our bridal party will actually have quite a few expenses to be in/at our wedding but they’re all such CLOSE friends that they’ve been waiting for this day since they were little. Especially my Fiances friends. Great people!
Post # 47
I’m buying dresses and paying for hair. Not makeup as I’m happy for that to be done herself or she can pay the lady doing mine. I’ve asked her to wear shoes she had as they wont be seen.
Post # 48
I’m in the US, they paid for dresses and tux rentals. We’re paying for hotel suites the night before and ,jewelry, they are wearing their own nude shoes, hair and makeup is up to them as well(not professional).
I also arranged with my Maid/Matron of Honor and secretly bought the hotel suite for the bachelorette night, that way it was cheaper overall for all my girls. I wanted to do more but she refused.
Post # 49
We are paying for the lodging for our wedding party and their SO’s/dates for 5 days since we are having a destination wedding. We are also buying all accessories for them and any “props” (robes, hair and make up for the bridesmaids etc.). They are paying for their dresses or tux rentals.
Post # 50
I get culture but what I dont get is peoples odd view, what I find is really strange is that some americans regularly say ‘obviously I cant afford it, im on a budget’ or ‘they’re buying the dress but im buying them a gift’
it sort of seems as if these people are totally unaware that virtually everyone is on a budget, its not a unique thing to you or to americans countries that buy the wedding attire also have budgets of quite strict and small ones too
the wedding parties attire IS part of the budget here, when you have a budget you budget it in before anything else you dont book everything and then add it… you and us could both have a $5,000 budget but we dont plan a $5,000 wedding on food and venue etc… then go ‘obviously we cant afford the outfits’ we plan a $4,600 wedding and plan to buy the outfits aswell with the same budget
and the ‘but I bought them a gift’ it makes it seem like the gift is not a thank you for being a part of your day but just a cheep re-payment of the dress
ive seen americans with budget 3 or 4 times that of me and my friends/family saying ‘we cant afforded it because we’re on a budget’ well people on less over here can and do afford it, you just buy CHEEPER items so you COULD afford it you just dont want too
no one needs a $100-$250 bridesmaid dress (these apparently ‘reasonable’ priced bridesmaid dresses in america are really not reasonable priced compared to round here where brides pay… its funny when people foot their own bill they are not as exstravigant with cost and demands – ive know people with wedding dresses in that price range lol)
you can get awesome dresses from $10 if you shop around in sale and the high street and we still buy gifts to thank them its not a tit-for-tat exchage hinged on weather they buy a dress, its a genuine thank you for being a part of it
I think to me its just the sheer thought pattern that confuses me, like assuming were really different and only really rich people could afford to buy their bridesmaids outfits but we’re not all millionairs, we are litrally on tight budgets just like yous
Post # 51
I love the idea of covering these costs. I agree it seems silly to make them buy the dress, but then ‘buy them a gift’ as if to make up for it. Just put that $ towards the dress!
Post # 52
I have been in too many weddings where I just felt dead broke from all the costs so we really wanted to be able to pay for some of the costs. We kept our bridal party small for that reason (2 on each side)
We are paying for:
Bridesmaid dresses- $210 and $280
Acessories- $100-$150 each
Nails the day before- $80 each
The groomsmen are being gifted suits so we don’t need to worry about that.
+ gifts for each person
What they are responsible for:
Hair and Makeup the day of: $165
They are wearing whatever shoes they would like.
Post # 53
The norm here (or in my social circle) is the bridesmaids pay for themselves. They had to buy the dress. Hair and make up is their choice and I didn’t care what shoes or jewelry they wore. I’ve been a bridesmaid 7 times and never once did someone buy my dress. I’ve never heard of that. I did however, buy them very nice gifts (200+) that were personal to them.
Post # 54
I don’t think anyone who has their BMs pay for dresses consider bridal party gifts a “tit for tat” whatsoever considering the majority of us have also purchased our own dresses as a bm for a friends wedding at some point. THAT is the tit for tat. You buy your dress now, and I will happily buy my dress later for your day. It’s a mutual understanding and that’s just how it’s done here.
$100 for bm dresses are considered fairly reasonable where I am from. I have shelled out close to $300 on a bm dress for a friend and it was just part of being a bm. If girls can spend upwards of $700 on prom dresses in high school, we can spend $100 on a bm dress to be in our close friend’s wedding.
I’m sure there are some things that us Americans would consider “rude” that you would find completely normal as well, that is part of living on different sides of the world.
Post # 55
- Wedding: May 2016 - St. John\'s Lutheran Church
We didn’t pay for anything. :/ We tried to make it as easy on them as possible. Girls chose their own dress and shoes (some wore things they already owned) and we did our own hair and makeup. Little travel was involved, and those who were from a bit further away I put up at my parents’ houses to they didn’t have to get a hotel.
The only thing I felt bad about was the groomsmen’s tuxes. But I did say they could get whatever they wanted, and as a group they collectively chose to rent $200 Vera Wang tuxes, so I said whatever floats their boats. They are all much older than the bridesmaids are, so most of them were in a financial position to easily afford it.
Post # 56
I’m buying the 3 bridesmaids dresses and paying for their hair and make up. They can wear whatever shoes they want. The only reason we are paying for the dresses is because I got a good deal on my wedding dress and thought this would be a good reallocation of the budget! It helped that the dresses were only £35 each from Etsy.
Post # 57
They pay for their dresses/rentals. Honestly it never dawned on me that I could/should pay for them, because I’ve never been a bridesmaid, and I’ve only ever heard of dresses being paid for when it’s a super expensive dress (like more than $500). Their dresses were $160. In hindsight, maybe buying their dresses would have been a good idea. I admit they would be cheaper. :-/
My mom is paying for my shower and I have no idea what’s up with the Bachelorette, but the ideas I gave them were all cheap. I told them they can pay to get their hair done, but they can do whatever they want. I also requested black heels and gold tones or pearls for jewlery, which I think is easy enough to do.
I do agree with the pp points about how paying for them is better than a gift. As a result, my bridesmaids are getting gift cards to their favorite stores. Perhaps it’s a bit impersonal, but I know there’s a few things each wants, and I can’t afford them. Instead of buying a gift at random, I’d rather get them money towards a splurge. For example, one of them loves my Michael Kors watch and has been talking about buying one for months. I can’t afford to buy her one, so I’m probably getting her a Nordstrom gift card so she can hopefully put it towards the purchase.
Post # 58
Covering for Best men: suit hire, cuff links, tie and pocket square and gifts. They have to wear their own brown shoes and white shirt.
Bridesmaids we are paying for dress, shoes, hair and gifts. They need to cover their own makeup if they want it done.
Post # 59
They are paying for their own dresses (any short blush dress they want), hair and makeup is optional so the girls who decided to get hair or makeup will pay for themselves. I also told them they could wear whatever shoes or jewelery they wanted (I bought them necklaces, but they are in no way expected to wear them that day).
I am paying for mani/pedis should they want to come with me the day before 🙂 I also got them kimonos for the wedding prep/every day glamour haha!
We bought all our groomsmen sneakers.
I own a makeup/hair company and iI’d say only about 10% of my brides pay for their girls.
Post # 60
We’re not dictating anything other than the dress and suits, even so I told my Bridesmaids they can choose whichever dress they want in the correct colors so they can wear it again after. I told them they can have their hair and makeup however they want and will let them know the prices for my hair and makeup person if they want to go with it or not. There’s also an app called BeGlammed that I’ll recommend to them which has more affordable people. Same with jewelry and shoes, whatever they want to wear. I don’t like the look of bridesmaids looking identical so it works for us! Paying for their gift of course and bouquets.