I’m not engaged yet, but we have actually already talked about our plans in regards to this. My SO would pay for the shirt or tie or vest or whatever extra for the groomsmen. They would wear whatever suit they already own (all of the men my SO would want as his groomsmen already have black suits, as they’ve been in various friends’ weddings already).
I wouldn’t require a specific dress for each bridesmaid, just a long dress of a specific color or color theme (at the moment I’m actually thinking of doing all floral bridesmaids dresses). We would pay ~$100 towards their dress and let them pick whichever dress they want. I’d make sure to have a couple suggestions for each girl of dresses that are within the anount I set if they don’t want to have to pay for their dress. But I know a couple of friends who would be happy to pay more for a nicer dress (and would also obviously totally understand that I can’t pay for over a certain amount).
So I would basically be paying for their dresses, I just want them to be able to pick the dress they really want but I also obviously can’t just pay an unlimited amount for the dresses.
Makeup I won’t pay for, as I wouldn’t require it and I probably will do my own makeup.
Hair I’m not sure if I’ll pay for. I certainly wouldn’t require it, but I know that my two friends who will be my bridesmaids would get their hair done regardless, leaving just my SIL (brother’s wife) who would be less willing to pay for it. I’d feel bad if she were left out, so might just pay for all of them to get their hair done if we have enough money.
As for accessories like shoes and jewelry, I wouldn’t pay for that. I wouldn’t have any requirements regarding those and honestly don’t care what shoes or jewelry they wear.
I was the Maid/Matron of Honor and a bridesmaid in two other weddings. When I was the Maid/Matron of Honor, it was for my SIL’s wedding to my brother and I paid for the dress. I did get to choose it though, and it was under $100. I didn’t mind at all, it is normal where I live. When I was a bridesmaid at my sister’s wedding, originally she was going to pay for it and then I was going to pay her back, but ultimately she decided to just buy it for me as a surprise, which was nice.
So it is normal in my area for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dress, but I wouldn’t really feel comfortable with it myself. I totally don’t mind at all paying for my bridesmaid dress in others’ weddings (as long as it’s a reasonable price lol), but I wouldn’t want my bridesmaids to spend money they aren’t comfortable spending just because of me.