(Closed) What deceased loved ones to honor?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
583 posts
Busy bee

First off, I’m very sorry for your losses!  I’m missing some key people too and I know somewhat how much of a hole is left.

I’m using some of my deceased aunt’s old furniture and repurposing it; I’m turning her dresser mirror into a pretty bulletin board that I’ll put old family wedding photos  and our engagement photos on.

I was wanting to do more outwardly memorial things, but I don’t want to get emotional about death when I’ll already be emotional.  Instead, I’m using things from the deceased but not mentioning it or anything.  Only immediate family will know.  I’ll be using my grandfather’s tallit (he was Jewish), and I haven’t figured out what to honor my other grandfather with.  I’ll probably just have a wedding photo of him and my grandma who hasn’t died yet but has severe Alzheimer’s and therefore can’t be at the wedding (doesn’t even know about it!).

Post # 4
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think it’s at all too much to list the names of your deceased father, grandparents, cousin, and best friend in the program and put the text you mentioned. Nobody is going to mistake your wedding for a memorial, and it’s very appropriate to take a moment, during such an important and joyous event in your life, to acknowledge that sorrow and loss are an important part of life, and you want to remember people who can’t be there that day.

Post # 5
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@KCKnd2:  +1

Also, you can do a memory table or board in the reception venue with pics and or other objects and candles. That’s what I am planning to do about my Grammy, she passed away in Jan, I am getting married the day after her birthday.

Post # 6
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’ve lost two brothers, one at age 24 when I was 28, the other at age 2 when I was 4. My mother also passed away from cancer when I was 5 and I lost both grandfathers, both of whom I was very close to. I’ve recently decided that although I found some really great ideas (ie candles, photos, etc), I’m not doing to do any of them. After a lot of thinking about it, it seemed like those things were more for other people and not me and my dad and family. Like with all of you that have lost someone or ones, it’s going to be obvious that they are not there. I am going to have my mom’s ring in my bouquet and the paster is going to mention something in the dinner prayer, but that’s about it. We are also going to make a donation in liue of favors to the dougy center in oregon. Not sure if that’s helpful, but I’m sure whatever you do, it will honor them 🙂

Post # 7
Member
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I have lost a few family members over the years (over 10 years ago for all) but the only recent loss was Fiance father who passed a couple of months ago. We will have a memorial candle for him and I am attaching a small charm to represent him on my bouquet (only immediate family will understand the significance).

 

Post # 8
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We did just a mention of people at the beginning of the ceremony.  I really didn’t want to have tables or candles or anything because it would have made me sad.

Post # 9
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

can you incorporate something that symbolizes the other family members at the table where their closest people would be? My FIs uncle passed in an accident and his family uses the blue bird to symbolize him so I bought small blue bird figurines to put on the tables where membres of his family are sitting. 

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