Post # 1
I have hardly been to any weddings. I specially have not been to anyone who’s had a deceased father or friend, so I am trying to figure out who to honor at my wedding. My dad passed away, my cousin (whom was like a brother), my best friend, and my grandparents. I will be adding a small paragraph to honor my father in my wedding program, but do you all think I should honor eveyone else that’s passed away? I need help, they were all so important in my life, but I do not want my ceremony to turn into a memorial. It is sad enough not having them there. Who should I include?As far as the text goes, I do not want to get too sentimental, because I am feeling sentimental enough. I am thinking of writing something that goes along the lines of “In rememberance and honor of ******, who is present today in our hearts”.
Post # 3
First off, I’m very sorry for your losses! I’m missing some key people too and I know somewhat how much of a hole is left.
I’m using some of my deceased aunt’s old furniture and repurposing it; I’m turning her dresser mirror into a pretty bulletin board that I’ll put old family wedding photos and our engagement photos on.
I was wanting to do more outwardly memorial things, but I don’t want to get emotional about death when I’ll already be emotional. Instead, I’m using things from the deceased but not mentioning it or anything. Only immediate family will know. I’ll be using my grandfather’s tallit (he was Jewish), and I haven’t figured out what to honor my other grandfather with. I’ll probably just have a wedding photo of him and my grandma who hasn’t died yet but has severe Alzheimer’s and therefore can’t be at the wedding (doesn’t even know about it!).
Post # 4
I don’t think it’s at all too much to list the names of your deceased father, grandparents, cousin, and best friend in the program and put the text you mentioned. Nobody is going to mistake your wedding for a memorial, and it’s very appropriate to take a moment, during such an important and joyous event in your life, to acknowledge that sorrow and loss are an important part of life, and you want to remember people who can’t be there that day.
Post # 5
Also, you can do a memory table or board in the reception venue with pics and or other objects and candles. That’s what I am planning to do about my Grammy, she passed away in Jan, I am getting married the day after her birthday.
Post # 6
I’ve lost two brothers, one at age 24 when I was 28, the other at age 2 when I was 4. My mother also passed away from cancer when I was 5 and I lost both grandfathers, both of whom I was very close to. I’ve recently decided that although I found some really great ideas (ie candles, photos, etc), I’m not doing to do any of them. After a lot of thinking about it, it seemed like those things were more for other people and not me and my dad and family. Like with all of you that have lost someone or ones, it’s going to be obvious that they are not there. I am going to have my mom’s ring in my bouquet and the paster is going to mention something in the dinner prayer, but that’s about it. We are also going to make a donation in liue of favors to the dougy center in oregon. Not sure if that’s helpful, but I’m sure whatever you do, it will honor them 🙂
Post # 7
I have lost a few family members over the years (over 10 years ago for all) but the only recent loss was Fiance father who passed a couple of months ago. We will have a memorial candle for him and I am attaching a small charm to represent him on my bouquet (only immediate family will understand the significance).
Post # 8
We did just a mention of people at the beginning of the ceremony. I really didn’t want to have tables or candles or anything because it would have made me sad.
Post # 9
can you incorporate something that symbolizes the other family members at the table where their closest people would be? My FIs uncle passed in an accident and his family uses the blue bird to symbolize him so I bought small blue bird figurines to put on the tables where membres of his family are sitting.