What did you ask others to help with?

posted 3 weeks ago in Wedding Related
Post # 2
6533 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

You don’t have to accept every offer of help. Half of them are just offering to be polite, and no one will get their feelings hurt if they’re not assigned a to-do list.

Post # 3
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

I had a lot of offers to help, but I had it all in hand and didn’t really need any help. I just thanked people and told them I was actually ok at the moment, but would keep them in mind if anything came up.

Post # 4
61 posts
Worker bee

I haven’t planned a wedding yet, but 2 brides have asked me to help make signs and cup decals. I have a cricut and enjoy doing crafty things, so I was happy to help.

If you can’t think of anything you need help with now or later, that’s perfectly okay! I would just thank them and let them know if you do think of anything down the road you’ll let them know. 

Happy planning! 🙂

Post # 5
2008 posts
Buzzing bee

I hired a planner so that I wouldn’t have to ask anyone to help/take people up on offers to help.  As PP suggested, I figured that a lot of people probably offered to be nice, and didn’t actually really want to help.  My Mother-In-Law offered to “help” multiple times but it was clear she didn’t actually want to do anything, so I was relieved to be able to say that my planner was handling things.

  • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 3 days ago by krm1984.
Post # 6
735 posts
Busy bee

Most people want to help with fun stuff, like going dress shopping or looking at venues. Whenever you do something  like that you can reach out to them and see if they want to join in.

Post # 7
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

My Mother-In-Law really wanted to help so she offered to do the favors. Did about 5 and then said her arthritis was bothering her and she couldn’t do any more. lol

I honesty preferred to do most things myself anyway so I knew they were done the way I wanted them.

Post # 8
13555 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Other than getting ready, standing up for me at the ceremony, and minor day of asks like holding flowers, or adjusting my train, I didn’t ask for a thing. I wouldn’t have taken someone up on offers to help either because I consider the bridal party to be honored guests, not free labor. 

If they are into it, discussing plans is always fun. You can invite friends to go dress shopping for fun too, as long as it’s optional. I was never into the entourage trend myself and shopped with my mom who is the person whose opinion I trusted the most anyway. 

If they come to you with something specific, like an offer to host a shower, that’s another story, but of course one would never ask. 

Post # 9
555 posts
Busy bee

Nothing, I wanted my guests including bridal party and direct family to enjoy themselves.

Post # 10
18 posts

Nothing!!! It only opens the door to unwanted opinions and overstepping. DIY or work with a planner/coordinator. 

Post # 11
3089 posts
Sugar bee

I didn’t.  I was in my 40s when I got married and most of my friends were thoroughly sick of the bridesmaid/free labor thing.


Post # 12
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Very little. One of the bridal party helped assemble the orders of service on the day of the wedding. Another (who has young kids) made party bags for all the young children to play with during the reception. It was probably about 8 we needed?

Another friend was our chauffeur for the day. I did the same for her wedding.

I think that’s it. 

Post # 13
1197 posts
Bumble bee

Nothing really. I had one friend (who is awesome at public speaking) MC our night before speeches, and one friend offered to make my wedding dress (and she was serious and loves sewing and I thought it was so wonderful to have something so special, so I took her up on the offer). Other than that, it was just my husband and I in terms of unpaid labor. 

Post # 14
938 posts
Busy bee

The only thing I actually asked for was that someone narrate the cultural ceremony my Mother-In-Law wanted to do. It was very important to her to do, which was fine, but I didn’t want my guests to be watching confused, so my SIL ended up doing the explanation/narration. 

We *asked* each of our parents to pick out who they wanted at their table, so that made the table planning a bit easier, but that was more to avoid drama lol. 

Other than that, we hired people for set up and take down, did our own running around and didnt really *need* help with anything. 

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