@spraguebride: Thanks for posting this. I’ve been having some anxiety myself and I’ve not been sure how to process it moving forward.
I can’t say I’m too worried, because I have a feeling people who want to visit will call and ask first, and that they won’t be put off if we say “No, not today.” However…
My husband’s father lives not on the same street but literally 7 minutes from us. He isn’t over all the time, and when he does come over, it’s always planned in advance and it’s always to be helpful. However, even with these limitations, I see him far more often than I see my own family, to the point where he refers to my father as my “other dad.”
He informed me that he has jury duty the day before our baby is due, and asked me whether he should try to get out of it. I encouraged him to go! He asked if we’d need help those first few days, and I told him that for the first few weeks we’re going to be very busy getting acclimated to the new life in our house and that if there was something we thought he could do to be helpful, we would let him know.
I can see my Father-In-Law wanting to meet us at the hospital and come home with us, but it’s really important to me that my husband, our baby, and I walk into our house alone, as a family. My husband said OK when I asked him to support me in this, and I believe he will.
Nobody else in his family is pushy, and I know that his father is so involved because he wants to help. But part of me believes very strongly that he wants to help because it gives him something to do, and because he still treats his 35-year-old son as a child. So, it’s frustrating. I have some anxiety over this situation if you can’t tell! But enough about me — this is your post!
I think the key is to talk to your husband and to get him on board with your plans, even if your plans are to play it by ear. He should be the one to stand up for the two of you to his family and ask them for a reprieve from visits until you are more comfortable and ready for guests.