- 7 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
Don’t marry someone you don’t get along with or you may wind up divorcing months later.
I learned a few things as the last wedding I attended was a disater. It seemed that they did not put any effort or time into this wedding. You would have thought it was a quick wedding but they were actually engaged for almost a year and a half. Not what I was expecting.
1) Have music for the ceremony. There was no music and guests were basically unaware that the wedding was starting.
2) Have enough food. They had maybe food for 40 people but invited 140 people. I didn’t eat at all.
3) Have seating. In the hall at the church there was 1 table reserved for grandparents and everyone else was basically supossed to stand. No flowers, no decorations, pretty much nothing. It was an empty room.
4) Make sure your wedding invitations allow people to know what kind of wedding they are attending. The invitations for this wedding were formal. Inner and outter envelope, professionally printed, had a dinner choice on the RSVP card and so on. So we dressed formally, were expecting a formal event, and did not eat first and we were so let down.
Overall, I learned to make your guests feel welcome and comftorable and that it will be a great wedding. At this wedding everyone was uncomftorable and not made to feel welcome at all. The reception lasted a grand total of 45mins before everyone left. I mean with no food, seats, or dancing what were supossed to do? Stand and think about being hungry?
1. Move directly into cocktail hour with your guests it gives you a chance to chat before everyone is made to sit down for dinner. As much as I want to avoid a first look I would hate to make people wait and possibly force everything to be later than planned.
2. Have everything in the same location/property but not too far away that people feel they need a golf cart to get between spots. Hotels are great for this and plan your other blocks within a short distance for taxis/cabs back, if they offer a shuttle through the hotel see if you can pay extra to have them do a late run to the venue.
3. If bathrooms arent easy to find or have signage to direct you put up signs for guests so they dont wander around for half an hour. When a 4 year old needs to pee mom and dad need to know where those bathrooms are and not hunt them down in a maze of a venue
4. Hire people to do your dirty work. I saw a bride flipping the ceremony room to the reception room during cocktails. Have a coordinator/planner for the day it really is worth the money since the bride was getting more upset and it took 2 hours to flip and still wasnt completely finished.
5. Live musicians make all the difference in getting people out of their seats and can read the crowd pretty well. We are using the same cover band as another couple and will be worth the money. I hate going to wedding and there being no music during the ceremony, cocktails, dining until an hour after people eat and then most people have left. We will have stuff through out
Don’t let the ceremony drag on for too long. The couple’s wedding ceremony lasted almost an hour and no it wasn’t a Mass. The pastor knew the bride and groom since they were kids in his Sunday school class and he felt the need to tell every single story about them growing up together. The first 2 stories were sweet but then he kept going and going and going. You could hear the guests fidgeting uncomfortably throughout the last 10-15 minutes of his monologue.
Oh and the bride dipped the groom back for their first kiss. It would have been funny except the bride notoriously wears the pants in the relationship so instead of a funny gesture, it was a sign of her dominance over the groom. Ick.
1. If you are having a dry wedding, plan some entertaining things for your guests to do besides sit at the tables for hours. Otherwise they will a) take the party outside and secretly drink from flasks in the parking lot, or b) depart quickly, leaving you with an empty venue that you’ve got for another 2.5 hours.
2. Don’t spend too much on wedding favors, as so many people leave them behind anyway. Also, glassware with the couple’s name on it ends up at Goodwill. Things like chocolate or cookies that people can instantly consume go over very well.
3. If your wedding isn’t teeny tiny, please assign seating. Otherwise people will be saving seats, moving chairs, etc – it will be awkward.
Music helps to set the mood indeed. At the wedding a guy wss playing the organ but he bbutchered every song that he played. He was the one who played for the processional in and out and it was bad. Put extra thought into the music.
ETA: I remember staring at the centerpiece at my table out of sheer boredom (old people table, late bridal party, no music). It wasn’t fancy. As a matter of fact, it was cheap looking but who cares. The don’t deserve a lot of headache anyway. If the food is good and the reception isn’t boring no one would even look at them!
Number one thing from the last wedding; Keept he DJ volume managable or all my aunts and uncles will escape to a quieter area. Along that lines, we have a quieter area to escape to.
Not all pinterest centerpieces look as good as your inspiration board.
You can save money by DIYing your food, but you need someone in charge of the food still. Also, guests can be NSFW to staff, evne if they are not really staff.
Some people need to have a talking to about open bars. I found that the bartenders kept giving drinks to one girl who at one point had 10 drinks between the 4 in front of her and the 6 she had left at her mom’s table.
Plus greeting them makes it feel more warm and personal.
Honestly, what I learned at the last wedding I attended was that even if the wedding is poorly planned, it’s still going to be FUN!
I learned that you can have fun even on a small budget. Mediocre food, drink tickets, informal iPod reception… being surrounded by your friends, you can have fun no matter what!
I also learned that it’s important to make sure your guests understand the plan of the day… The wedding was around noon with a small hor d’oeuvre reception outside the church for everyone and then there was a later evening reception with a full dinner, alcohol, and dancing for just close friends and family. I honestly didn’t know if I was invited or not to the late reception because it wasn’t clear on the invite (I was), and I showed up in my dress from the ceremony and the bridesmaids were in jeans. About half the guests were wearing regular clothes and the other half were dressed up… so make sure your guests know what to wear!
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