(Closed) What did you really expect from your bridesmaids?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
8736 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Mrs.MedinaJr: My expectations are as follows:

1) Purchase bridesmaids dress and shoes (if they don’t already have some that work)

2) Attend rehearsal dinner and wedding (including travel & hotel accommodations)

Something I’d like them to do, would be a little disappointed if they didn’t but wouldn’t get angry:

Plan & attend bachelorette party (I already know one can’t attend and that is ok)

Other than that, the rest is all a bonus. Being a bridesmaid is expensive so I didn’t want a shower and asked them not to give gifts at the engagement party (also did not expect out of town BMs to attend even though some did).

Post # 4
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My expectations:

Buy bm dress

Show up to the wedding

Throw a bridal shower/bachelorette party


What actually happened:

they bought the dress and they showed up. I’m not getting a bridal shower or bachelorette party because it didn’t fit in their schedules during my eleven month engagement. I’m pretty bummed. I don’t even want help planning or making anything.

Post # 4
4161 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Mainly I was expecting support from my girls.  My Maid/Matron of Honor (my younger and only sister) has been doing a great job.  Organizing the bridal shower and bachelorette on her own while my other two bridesmaids haven’t done a thing.  I’m a little annoyed that they haven’t offered to help her, but I can’t say anything.  One lives out of town and the other is too wrapped up in her own relationship to worry about anything else.

Post # 5
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I was pretty laid back so it was really just be there on my wedding day and buy their dress. Most of them were out of state so I knew they wouldn’t all be able to make it to the bachelorette party or the shower.

I did tell them that I needed help a few days before my wedding and if they were available that it would be great if they could help. 

Post # 6
3977 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

1. Purchase dress in time for the wedding.

2. On the wedding day wear your clean dress, be clean yourself, and look presentable.

that’s it.



I mean my sister volunteered to help me with a few things.

They all came to the rehearsal and helped out some which was really sweet of them.

I really didn’t have a high maintainance wedding and I don’t get the whole “my bridesmaids should be required to present themselves to 36 meetings/fittings/parties/dinners/DIY days/etc. or I will strike them from my friendship circle forever.” Seems be a bit loco to me.


Post # 7
5656 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I expect them to buy their dress/some accessories and show up at the rehearsal dinner and the day of looking respectable.

I expect my Maid/Matron of Honor to help me organize things the day of. 🙂

Post # 8
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

-Buy a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress and shoes
-Show up to the rehearsal
-Look presentable at the wedding
-Throw a shower (I don’t want a bachelorette party)

Post # 9
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My expectations are pretty similar to the PPs.

1. Buy Bridesmaid or Best Man dress and shoes. This includes shopping for dresses together so they coordinate. I am giving them each $100 to help with costs of dresses.

2. Be there for rehearsal, dinner, wedding and reception. I am paying for getting ready so they just have to show up and be pampered.

3. Help me get dressed. I’m gonna have a corset back dress.

4. Be happy and beautiful. I don’t wanna hang out with grumpy girls all night. LOL

Other than that. I’m just grateful they are my friends and agreed to spend this very special day with me. Smile


Post # 11
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

1. buy and wear bridesmaid dress

2. attend rehearsal dinner

The only special thing I asked was that if the reception was in a lull or people just weren’t dancing to please participate and dance if necessary. (Having a smaller wedding at times that can happen and my sister/MOH was awesome about keeping the party going until a certain point it just kept itself going until midnight! I’m still glad I asked though.)

Post # 12
5826 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Buy their dresses, listen to me complain once in awhile, attend rehearsal/wedding, make travel arrangements for the wedding (all were from out of town) and I expected my Maid/Matron of Honor to plan my bachelorette. If my Maid/Matron of Honor was a different person I wouldn’t have expected the bachelorette but I knew she would be more excited about that than the wedding.

Post # 13
365 posts
Helper bee

Out of my four girls, only one of them is local.  And my Maid/Matron of Honor (one of the girls OOT) is leaving soon for a job out of the country for the majority of the time until the wedding.  The one who is local works nights as a nurse, so we mainly keep up via phone and text and don’t get to see each other very often (she works 7P-7A and I work 8A-10P most days).  So my expectations might be a little different considering those circumstances.

I expect them to:

-Buy their dresses.

-Be excited and supportive.

-Attend the rehearsal and wedding.

-Party and dance their butts off at my wedding, which I know won’t be an issue with my girls!

And that’s really about it.  I don’t know yet whether any of them would be able to attend a shower or bachelorette party.  I would love for them to, but I am leaving it up to them and their schedules.  As far as helping with things, I email them when I want their opinion on something (like for my wedding dress or their dresses) and the rest I am doing myself with my mom and floral/event designer.  I have some girlfriends here locally who have offered their help if I need help with DIY projects, which is nice, but I don’t know how much/if I will utilize that yet.

Post # 14
14940 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Mine had their dresses, so, show up for wedding, rehersal/rehersal dinner.  The bachelorette party and shower I was on the fence about having, but they did both for me anyways, which I really appreciated and loved.

Post # 15
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I just asked 4 of my friends to be “honorary” bridesmaids since we decided against having a bridal party.

To be honest I really need their help since I live 900 miles away from my home state/the wedding venue and they’re all there! They’re all excited and decided to buy dresses in our wedding colors on their own, even though that’s something I never would have asked of them… and I have the feeling that a few of the girls are planning a bach for me which is so sweet.

I’ve asked them each to pick up a few pieces of vintage glassware here and there for tablescaping since there is no way we will be able to transport that kind of stuff to and fro. I’ve also asked that they come and get ready with me because what fun would that be alone?

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