(Closed) What dislikes do you have when it comes to weddings?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What dislikes do you have when it comes to weddings?
    Lack of alcohol at the reception : (47 votes)
    45 %
    Long distance to travel : (15 votes)
    14 %
    Ambiguous invites. e.g. no registry, unsure if partners/children are allowed, etc. : (10 votes)
    10 %
    Long ceremony : (33 votes)
    31 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    You should make it so that you can vote on more than one option and include an “other” for people to fill things in!

    For me it would be

    -long ceremony

    -lack of alcohol at the reception

    -bad food or not enough food

    Post # 4
    Member
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    You don’t have my #1 listed which is— THE GAP. I’m not a big fan of cocktail hours at all actually (no seating usually, and the bar is always too busy)… but I accept them as a totally necessary evil. But when there is a cocktail hour + a random hour or two…. argh. I think the 1 hour gap is the worst honestly because if it is 2+ hours you can at least go somewhere else and do something for a while, but with 1 hr you have no choice but to sit around waiting for the bar to open and then get swamped. It makes me very cranky. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    5761 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I think my least favorite things are a gap between ceremony and reception of longer than an hour, terrible food, and too many people squeezed in to too small a space. The whole world doesn’t need to be invited, does it?

    Post # 6
    Member
    714 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    1.  Cash Bar

    2.  Money Dance

    3.  Registry info in the invite

    4.  Brides and Grooms who provivde “better” food or drinks for themselves or the wedding party and not all guests.

    5.  Brides and Grooms who go bar hopping for joy riding after the ceremony and make their guests wait for them at the reception with no food or drinks or just plan a huge gap between teh ceremony and reception. 

    Oh, and just a quick point of clarification – invitations really aren’t ambiguous.  If kids aren’t specificially mentioned on the invitation, then they’re not invited.  And including registry information is actually in very poor taste and is considered very rude as it communicates an expectation of gifts from the guests. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    979 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I hate:

    -long wait between ceremony and reception

    -standing up for the ceremony (guests)

    -cash bar

    -being the last person served at a sit down dinner

    -garter toss

    -bad DJ

    Post # 8
    Member
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    1. Receptions scheduled during dinner that don’t actually have any food at them.

    That’s it. That’s my main pet peeve. I can go without alcohol, I can sit through your half-hour long slideshow, I can suck it up and listen to 15 toasts. Just please, dear God, feed me. 🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    5787 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I see this thread blowing up. I don’t like long ceremonies or the gap but I know its unavoidable for most catholic weddings. I agree with smyley about squeezing too many people in a small space, the tables being on top of eachother is the worst.

    Post # 10
    Member
    689 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I agree with PP about long gaps b/w ceremony and reception especially the ones with no food or drinks.

    A lot of kids crying during ceremony and crowding dance floor

    Bad food

    Bride and groom smashing cake in each other’s faces

    No DJ

    Post # 11
    Member
    875 posts
    Busy bee

    1,  Cash bar…. I’d rather have no alcohol than to have to pay for some soda pop!  Seriously, I think the no alcohol thing is very dependent on the bride and groom’s social circle.  It’s not rude if you choose not to serve it, and I would never be critical for this being missing.  You just don’t know if the family choose not to include it because of alcohol problems within the family or with a significant number of guests…

    2. Wedding invitations that include registries… (Yes, I’m going to get you something, but I don’t like those little cards being included in a social invitation.)  I agree that invitations are not ambiguous, if your name is not listed then you are not invited.  Truthfully… the “and guest” category is not really properly formatted… you really should call the friend and ask who they would like to include in their invitation. 

    3.  Weddings where the bride thinks it’s no big deal… but becomes a bridezilla because the truth is that it is a big deal!  I have experienced this series of events at least twice, and in both instances, the bride was insistent that weddings aren’t a big deal, did not do any research, did not know proper etiquette, and was very insistant that things be done her way… but the reality is that the bride’s actions left a very bad impression on her closest friends and family members.  The etiquette books are there for a reason… to help you navigate unfamiliar territory.  Take the time to read them, and your wedding will be a social event remembered with joy and honor!

    4.Deejays and Photographers who forget that the focus of the event is not on them…  A good deejay should be in control of the music and know what’s happening, but not be a detraction from the event.  A photographer needs to remember that they have the job of noticing the details of the day, but not interrupting others view of the event.  (I dislike it when a photographer is busy snapping photos and missing out on the sacredness of specific moments.)

    5.  Guests who insist on dressing their children like flower girls…(specifically… white flower girl dresses…) and are overheard, saying… well, she wanted to be a flower girl, but she wasn’t asked, but I bought her a flower girl dress anyway.  Not cool and not cute!  I think dressing your kid up in a fancy party dress is absolutely fine, but taking them in a white dress is rude.   The only kids who should show up at a wedding wearing white are babes in the arms of family members who know it’s fine with the bride and the real flower girls… who have had their dresses preapproved by the bride!   

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    1016 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    My dislikes are:

    Miserable bride or groom or both.  So hard to enjoy the day when the couple looks like they’d rather crawl back into bed until it’s all over.  Why drag us all down with you???

    Being made aware of wedding drama – either with the couple, the families, friends.  Awkward.

    Religious Ceremony where no one knows what is going on – this is more religion-based.  I’ve been to too many (especially Catholic) weddings where the bride and groom are getting married in a church but otherwise haven’t set foot in one since their 1st Communion.  No idea how to respond to prayers, when to sit/stand/kneel. Makes me wonder why they bothered with a religious ceremony…

    Bad food/not enough food – weddings are long days for everyone and like others said above – feed me!

    Obnoxious DJ/band – I went to my share of Bar Mitzvahs when I was growing up – it was cool and fun then to have a real ‘showy’ DJ.  Not so much as a grown up at a wedding…

    Post # 13
    Member
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    1. I have no problem what so ever with a invitation that says Mr. LetsGoPens and Guest. But if you put the guests name on the response card but they still write Mr. LetsGoPens and Guest on the escort card it ticks me off.

    2. When half of the hall hasn’t went up to the buffet and the bride and groom are cutting their cake. I know everything is supposed to be on a timeline but allotting 30 min for 150 guests to go to the buffet and eat is not enough time.

    3. When you can not find the darn card box.

    Post # 14
    Member
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    1.  Anything where the reception hosts disregard their duty to be hosts.  These include:

    1a.  Cash Bar

    1b.  Having less food than is expected for the time of your reception (i.e. having hor d’ oeuvres at 6pm) – I shouldn’t have to go to Subway after your reception.

    1c.  Having less chairs than there are guests (the old people sit the entire wedding and I have to stand up to eat)

    1d.  People who spend a lot on themselves but go really cheap for the guests.  For example, having a much nicer dinner for the head table, or openly bragging about the bride’s $5000 dress then serving pulled pork.

    1e.  People that don’t send an STD and then send you an invitation to an out-of-town wedding a month before the wedding.  

    1f.  People that have a large number of out-of-town guests but don’t try to accommodate them (hotel blocks, printed directions to the reception from the hotel / airport, out of town box with things to do and restaurants to visit, etc).

    1g.  People who send email invitations.  

    1h.  Not offering single invitees to bring a guest

     

    RE: the gap.  Especially in Catholic weddings, it’s driven by the church.  Often you can only get married at 2pm.  So that means a 3pm reception or a gap.  Many reception halls won’t let you book until 5pm (so they can squeeze in afternoon events) and even if they did, you can’t really serve dinner that early.  So really there’s no way around it. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    95 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I went to a wedding with an hour long ceremony, then a half-hour ride to the reception, then had to wait for 2HOURS! for the wedding party to arrive with nothing but cheese and crackers (which were gone in about 5 minutes) to munch on…needless to say, I was super grumpy waiting for dinner.  So, my biggest complaint about weddings would be food-related…a well-fed guest is a happy guest! 

    Another major complaint is a small dance floor.  I’ve been to quite a few weddings with a super tiny dance floor for 150+ guests…if you want your guests to have a good time and dance, give them room!

    Post # 16
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I feel like this thread is going to take a turn for the worse but I’ll play! Mine would have to be:

    • Guests who dress to coordinate with the bridal party. If the bridesmaids are wearing turquoise and you’re not a bridesmaid, then don’t wear the same color. Now, if the bridesmaids are wearing black that’s another story.
    • Cash Bar. Like another PP said, I don’t really have an issue if it’s a dry wedding (although I would MUCH prefer to be served alcohol) but asking your guests to purchase their drinks (even soda) is a little annoying. Especially if they don’t know that it’s a cash bar and the bar doesn’t take credit cards. I’ve been to a wedding where that was the case and we were pretty peeved to have to drive 20 minutes to the nearest ATM to get cash after arriving to the reception.
    • I’m totally not a fan of the bouquet and garter toss. As a “single” woman, I do not find it the least bit fun to subject myself to this tradition. However, I know that some people enjoy it and I respect that.
    • Suggestions for gifts. I don’t have an issue with registries but when the couple lets it be known that they would prefer a monetary gift over a store bought gift, that’s not cool with me.
    • No plus one for people in serious relationships. I’ve been invited to a number of weddings where I was not allowed a plus one. If my relationship was new I would understand but considering I had been with Fiance (he was SO at the time) for considerably longer than the friends getting married and we lived together, I found it a little unsettling that they wouldn’t allow me to bring him. Hell, we’re giving plus ones to our single friends and family (though that’s a little easier to do since we only have 75 guests).
    • Dollar Dance. I won’t go into it since I know some people on WB have done them or are planning to do them. I’m just not a fan.

    The topic ‘What dislikes do you have when it comes to weddings?’ is closed to new replies.

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