Post # 1
The question will sound silly, but we don’t do bridesmaids in Germany 🙂 We just have “witnesses”, usually one girl (her sister or her best friend) and one guy (his brother / best friend). So I would assume these are similar to maid of honor and the male equivalent.
But what does the rest of the bridesmaid-bunch do? I love the look of it in pictures, so I’d really love having some of my girls being bridesmaids as well, but have no clue what else they do other than looking nice in pictures 😀
I take it they are walking down the aisle before the bride comes in? And then wait in the front?
But other than that … Please fill me in on everything.
My witness does not like it at all as she finds it too kitschy / American, sorry folks 😉 And I must say I’m not a big fan of having the same bridesmaid dresses for all of them (sorry but I guess it’s just not being used to it).
However I have seen some pics that I find really sweet, where the bridesmaid outfits are more relaxed and basically just from the same color family. I cannot find the pic I loved most, but sort of like these:
So, hoping for good reasons to convince my “witness” – I’ve already talked to a couple of my other best friends and they’d be in, but it doesn’t make any sense if my “witness” won’t be up for it.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta
@MsquareM: there isn’t much that they HAVE to do. Show up, wear a dress, hold flowers when they walk down the aisle. You can have them come in with the groomsmen or by themselves. I am having Darling Husband standing up with his groomsmen already when the bridesmaids walk in. And then be in the bridal party photos afterwards.
Organize a shower
Organize a bachelorette
Help with wedding planning
Help with crafting stuff
Go with you to try on dresses
Buy the accessories you tell them to (or let them choose their own with a few guidelines)
Get their hair done for the wedding
Get their make-up done or do their own make-up
Post # 4
They really only have to do as much as you delegate to them. They are sort of around for help and moral support.
Post # 5
They’re really just there to be pretty!
(Though some people also have them plan showers/bachelorette parties or help with DIY projects)
Post # 6
Maid of honor is just an American term for witness. Their only ‘job’ is to stand up for you. The rest (plan your parties, serve as your servants, be a prop for pretty pictures) is just a few bridezillas’ interpretation. Oh, and having multiple bridesmaids solely exist to create drama foe the wedding. Personally stick with your sole witness. It will probably save you a lot of grief.
Post # 7
I love having bridesmaids. I don’t know how it is in other cultures, but my maid of honor went with me to try on wedding dresses and my bridesmaids have gone to bridal shows with me. (Where you meet vendors, get fed, and win door prizes, it’s lots of fun!) I like the idea of us all getting ready together the day of the wedding. Having my best friends there with me through it all makes it so much nicer. I have definitely gone to them for advice. (Which veil looks better? That sort of thing) It is customary to get each bridesmaid a gift of thanks for being part of your day.
Post # 8
@Pixienickie: many thanks for this comprehensive overview! That’s not really much more than I thought, that’s good 🙂 most of the stuff would be done by my witness anyway (e.g. bachelorette party) and other stuff, I’m asking some friends for help as well, so it wouldn’t change much other than them having to somewhat align on the dressing. Which I think the potential bridesmaids would all be happy to do, just my Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t like it. Obviously, I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable either. Argh. I’ll need to talk this over with her again and see if we can find a compromise.
Post # 9
@lollygagon: many thanks to you as well. They’d be doing that anyway – but this way we could have nice pictures along with it 😉
Post # 10
@BrandNewBride: now who could mind sth if it’s for the purpose of looking pretty?! 😉
Post # 11
@OkieHeart: I’m not expecting any drama from my (potential) BMs, it’s really just my witness who feels this is too “American”, so i’ll need to see if there’s a way that would make her comfortable with it as well.
Post # 12
@BriansBride: it does sound like fun! I’ve had my witness and one other friend with me for my first dress shopping. As it was very spontaneous, my mum couldn’t join. I would like for 3 other friends (along with witness / future Maid/Matron of Honor 😉 and said friend) to be my BMs, but those three all live out of town, so couldn’t join for as much of the stuff anyway.
Bridal show I did with my SO anyway 😉
the getting ready together on the day of sounds lovely, even though that might just be in theory and prove to be more chaotic on the day of 😀
Post # 13
My understanding is that they are really just there for extra support/ love… and I was taught it is a position that of honor (ie you want the guests to know that the people up there with you are those who’ve been and will be your biggest support- next to your parents).
Post # 14
@MsquareM: The really basic things that they have to do is as follows:
1. Show up on time for the wedding.
2. Show up looking neat and presentable.
3. Show up sober and with a smile on their faces.
That’s the basics. What else they wind up doing really depends on the area that the Bride is from and whats considered the norm there.
Post # 15
They show up to your big day and look pretty – and support your day!
Everything else is optional.
Post # 16
@Spartanbee: It’s lovely. I want it 🙂