(Closed) What do do about my side of the Guest List!!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
766 posts
Busy bee

MrsMtoBE2016:  If this isn’t an issue of money or space, I would just invite them and not stress over it.  Even if it doesn’t mean a lot to you, it may mean a lot to them to be there, and if they’re really happy to be there, their joy will add to the occasion.

Post # 3
Member
2424 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

Remember, the wedding isn’t for a year and a half, and a lot can happen before you send your invitations, which is roughly 6 weeks before the event.

You have a rare mom, listen to her.

Post # 6
Member
2257 posts
Buzzing bee

MrsMtoBE2016:  Well, I’ve never met half my fiance’s family and they’re still getting invited. He has family he doesn’t see hardly ever, and they’re not getting invited. I have family I hardly ever see that aren’t invited. But don’t use your FI’s not knowing someone as a reason to not invite them.

The reality is, you might not always be able to invite your entire family. If I did so, I’d be sitting at at  least 120 guests, and I have a max of 90. It is a hard choice, but second and third cousins whom I never see just aren’t going to be invited.

Really, you just do what you feel is right, but be prepared for some backlash or hurt feelings if you don’t invite them. If you do invite them, they may not even come, if what you say is true (you not being close).

If space is not an issue, and money isn’t, I’d say just invite them.

Post # 8
Member
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

MrsMtoBE2016:  I feel ya. My mom passed away a few years ago and I struggled with inviting that (huge) side of the family; our relationship is pretty strained with them. My dad also said to do whatever we wanted. Ultimately, I know it would’ve made my mom happy, and I would’ve felt guilty not doing so. 

As PP suggested – if you have the money, why not.

Post # 9
Member
2257 posts
Buzzing bee

MrsMtoBE2016:  That does present a problem :/

I tend to think that in a situation where your dad was dying, they shouldn’t have been anything but kind and helpful to you and your mother. That alone would make me not want to invite them. It doesn’t sound like you’ll be losing a relationship with your dad’s family, because it sounds like you don’t have one, and it sounds like you’d be happier without them there in the first place.

Post # 10
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t mean to boil down such an emotionally complex situation as this to a solution so simple, but it at least might offer you a better understanding of your feelings and point you in the right direction:

When I’m torn on something, I flip a coin. I decide before hand that Option/Scenario ‘A’ is heads, and Option/Scenario ‘B’ is tails. Then, I flip. If, as the coin is doing it’s thing, I start to feel myself hoping for it to be either A or B, I know that that particular thing is the thing I really want. It helps stifle the conflicting head vs. heart impulses.

Whatever happens, I hope you find a decision that makes you feel happy and comfortable on your day! 

Post # 11
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

You are stressing over this? Just invite them or don’t. It would be nice if you do and it may create or even re-create ties, but if you have it in your head that bc of whatever they shouldn’t be invited then do not invite them. 

Post # 12
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

MrsMtoBE2016:  ok baed on this update then do not invite them. It is your day and not theirs. I certainly will never forget those people who were assholes AT my wedding, so spare yourself that then.

The topic ‘What do do about my side of the Guest List!!’ is closed to new replies.

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