Post # 1
Okay Bees, I need your help. I’ll start with a short background:
My Mom and Dad were married for 13 years and got divorced when I was 10. Later that same year, my Dad married my Stepmom. They were married for 12 years and divorced about 3 years ago. Now, my Mom and Dad and back together. My Stepmom has been engaged for 2 years. I am still very close with my Stepmom and see her very often. She didn’t have children and my brother and I are her only “kids”. Everyone is civil, but it can be awkward (how could it not be AWKWARD!) at times.
So, here is my question. In our ceremony programs my Stepmom will be escorted down the isle. What do I reference her? Ex-stepmom sounds a little harsh. Special friend of the Bride doesn’t quite work either. Any suggestions?
PS – trying to juggle these tough family situations is no fun!
Post # 3
Friend and Mentor? Family Friend? Beloved Guest?
Post # 4
Does “former” rather than “ex” help soften it enough? Or maybe (make sure your mom is ok with this) Honorary Mother of the Bride? I mean, we have honorary everything else! Funny situation though, I hope you get it worked out. And how cool is that, your parents getting back together after such a long time!
Post # 5
I like Friend of the Bride or Beloved Guest.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House
I’d vote for “former” before her title, or the simple — but still sweet — “Beloved Guest” or “Close Friend of the Bride”
Post # 7
Hmmm… these are good ideas!!! I like Former Stepmom. My mom put the kebosh on Honorary Mother (but oddly was okay with calling my step-grandmother an honorary grandmother or grandmother by heart).
It’s is a very weird but really neat situation to go to my mom’s house at holidays and my dad is there. It’s sort of normal!
Post # 8
I have a former stepmother too, but we still all refer to her as just “our stepmother.”
Do you need to list everyone in the program? We have so many whole, half, steps, and former steps that I think we’re skipping it 😉
Post # 9
I would put Honored Guest
Post # 10
Could you just skip the title and put her name? Will most of your gusts already know the relationship?
As the product of a divorce myself (twice on my dad’s side) I know how tough it is!
Post # 11
Honored guest is my favorite. My birthson is our Jr. Groomsman and this is how I’ve listed him.
Post # 12
I would skip the title altogether and just put her name. Or you can do what we are doing and put Seating of the Family.
Post # 13
My first thought was to list her as your Stepmom (and ask your mother if she is ok with that). When your dad and mom divorced, your mom didn’t become your ex-mom. She’s still your mom. Same with your stepmother. She was your stepmother through very formative years, and since she continues to play an important role in your life, she should be honored as such. If your mom doesn’t have an issue with it, I’d also run it by your stepmom – to see if she has a preference.
Post # 14
Great Ideas!!! Thanks so much. I also like the “Honored Guest” idea. It’s nice to have a sounding board on these tough topics!