(Closed) What do I do? 1 uninterested MOH 1 great one!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am sorry that you have to experience this, it can be nerve-wracking and annoying. I had the same situation and I will give you the advice I received. While most of our friends and families love and support us and are excited about OUR big day, that ‘s just it — its our big day. So, I say that topoint out that although all of your other girls seem super excited, we as brides should be cautious and not expect others sense of urgency or level of excitement to be like ours. It may not be that she’s not excited, but she may have something going on in her personal life, you never know. Also, unless you are personally involved in the other girls wedding and you know w/o a shadow of a doubt that she is gung ho about that wedding I would be careful not to make the assumption that “maybe she is just closer with this other girl and more into that wedding”  That’ could be completely untrue and unfounded.

TRUST ME I know how you feel, but for your own sanity and peace step back take a deep breath and just have a conversation with her.  And for the sake of fairness maybe before you start talking about gowns and hair and makeup and such with your girls you should think about what it is you would like from them ALL and your expectations of how they can play a role in your big day, and have a meeting with them to discuss this. This may seem a little over formal BUT the one thing it will do is create a place to have ALL of your girls there where you all can discuss expectations and thoughts openly and honestly. The best thing is you ALL will get the same information at the same time. After you do this and you have shared your desires,expectations and wishes with them, THEN you can jump to the fun stuff. TRUST me it helped for me and my girls appreciated the opportunity to know what it was that I desired from them and they from each other. If at this point she is still unenthusiastic and uninvolved then you have to have a one on one convo with her.

REMEMBER its your big day (and your fiance’s 🙂  you have a vision for what you want the journey and the day to be like, no one else will understand it unless you share those thoughts with them. Communication is key.


I hope it all works out and sorry this was so long-winded.

But I will say that .

Post # 4
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Since you said you’re not very close to her, I’m sort of wondering why you asked her to be Maid/Matron of Honor in the first place.  At any rate, I’d talk to her, and ask how everything’s going with the baby, is she stressed, etc.  Then say you know she’s in another wedding a week after yours, and say you’d love to have her in yours but you’re worried it’s too much to deal with – what does she think?

In her defense, your wedding is over a year away, so maybe she just doesn’t feel like this is urgent at all.

Post # 5
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I know this is a delicate sitation but maybe you can tell her you would prefer her as a brides maid since she seems busy. That way shes still included but doesnt have to do as much. I’m not sure if someone would still be upset though.

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