Post # 1
I am getting married in June 2012. Given that I am a planner, I have basically everything planned already. My centerpieces, my dress, hair dos, the whole nine. So, I started to inquire about my wedding parties dress prefrences. I will be having 2Maid/Matron of Honor and 2 Bridesmaid or Best Man. Both Bridesmaid or Best Man and #1Maid/Matron of Honor responded relatively quickly to my txts w/ pics asking which dresses they prefered (I’m saying within a few hours at most). MOH#2 Still hasn’t responded. Granted, I know her schedule very well b/c it is practically the same as mine and she does have a 1 y/o at home. But, IDK how difficult it is to say “yeah i like it” or ” no, not my style”.
MOH #1 was SUPER excited when she found out I was getting married. She even started planning the bachelorette party b4 i actually asked her to be in the wedding (it was kinda always a given she’d b there we have been friends since childhood).
MOH#2 has seem really disinterested since the begining. We are not very close. She doesn’t ask me about me and my life at all. The few texts I have sent her about the wedding go unresponded for daysif she even responds however, ones unrelated to the wedding are usually answered in a few hours at the most. She is also the Maid/Matron of Honor at a wedding 1 week after mine. She is a very nice girl but,I’m not sure if I’m over reacting or maybe she is just closer with this other girl and more into that wedding. She knows I am planning everything already and has offered to “help tie strings on bubbles If i need it” but I feel offended by the fact that the other 3 can atleast quick txt me their opinion on the dresses (all work and totally have their own lives).
I don’t want to offend her by kicking her out b/c I would love for her to be there but, she doesn’t seem interested at all. Am I better off to let her know I understand she is a part of someone else’s wedding so close to mine and I don’t want her to become overwhelemed and let her know that I will not be offended by her opting out of mine?
I am just rly annoyed b/c I feel like she isn’t even paying attention. I mean I know it is a while away but everyone else is “participating” with no problems and the inability to respond is really irritating me. I don’t want to let it go b/c I feel like the closer we get to the wedding the more stressed I’m going to be by this type of behavior. What should I do? Any advice?
Post # 3
I am sorry that you have to experience this, it can be nerve-wracking and annoying. I had the same situation and I will give you the advice I received. While most of our friends and families love and support us and are excited about OUR big day, that ‘s just it — its our big day. So, I say that topoint out that although all of your other girls seem super excited, we as brides should be cautious and not expect others sense of urgency or level of excitement to be like ours. It may not be that she’s not excited, but she may have something going on in her personal life, you never know. Also, unless you are personally involved in the other girls wedding and you know w/o a shadow of a doubt that she is gung ho about that wedding I would be careful not to make the assumption that “maybe she is just closer with this other girl and more into that wedding” That’ could be completely untrue and unfounded.
TRUST ME I know how you feel, but for your own sanity and peace step back take a deep breath and just have a conversation with her. And for the sake of fairness maybe before you start talking about gowns and hair and makeup and such with your girls you should think about what it is you would like from them ALL and your expectations of how they can play a role in your big day, and have a meeting with them to discuss this. This may seem a little over formal BUT the one thing it will do is create a place to have ALL of your girls there where you all can discuss expectations and thoughts openly and honestly. The best thing is you ALL will get the same information at the same time. After you do this and you have shared your desires,expectations and wishes with them, THEN you can jump to the fun stuff. TRUST me it helped for me and my girls appreciated the opportunity to know what it was that I desired from them and they from each other. If at this point she is still unenthusiastic and uninvolved then you have to have a one on one convo with her.
REMEMBER its your big day (and your fiance’s 🙂 you have a vision for what you want the journey and the day to be like, no one else will understand it unless you share those thoughts with them. Communication is key.
I hope it all works out and sorry this was so long-winded.
But I will say that .
Post # 4
Since you said you’re not very close to her, I’m sort of wondering why you asked her to be Maid/Matron of Honor in the first place. At any rate, I’d talk to her, and ask how everything’s going with the baby, is she stressed, etc. Then say you know she’s in another wedding a week after yours, and say you’d love to have her in yours but you’re worried it’s too much to deal with – what does she think?
In her defense, your wedding is over a year away, so maybe she just doesn’t feel like this is urgent at all.
Post # 5
I know this is a delicate sitation but maybe you can tell her you would prefer her as a brides maid since she seems busy. That way shes still included but doesnt have to do as much. I’m not sure if someone would still be upset though.