(Closed) What do I do??

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Huh????? So, has he ever had sex? How long have you guys been dating? I’m at a lost for words. Have you asked him how long he is going to wait?

Post # 4
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I agree with PP I’m at loss for words. How could he think that’s perverted? Intimacy is a really important part of a relationship.

Post # 6
Member
679 posts
Busy bee

It sounds like some sort of emotionally rooted sexual disorder. If I were you, I’d try explaining to him that you WANT to be intimate with him and that it’s an important part of the relationship for you. Tell him that YOU don’t think he’s a pervert for thinking of you sexually, and in fact, it’s absolutely essential to the relationship that he begin to think about you sexually. 

If he can’t get past it himself (which he may not be able to) then he would probably benefit from seeing a sex therapist. 

Post # 7
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Ummm what the funk? Aside from the no-sex issue.. the fact that he ditched you online to watch porn is ass-kick worthy. I am not a therapy pusher but it seems like you need to bring in a pro for this one.

Post # 8
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Is he waiting for marriage? Is it a religious thing, or is it a personal issue with him?

Post # 9
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Yes, I think you guys need to see a Pro. Maybe something happened to him at a young age or he saw something at a young age. 

Post # 11
Member
679 posts
Busy bee

@MrsOliveBird: Oh my gosh, THANK YOU for posting that, because I was thinking about that too and I KNEW there was a name for it, but I racked my brain and couldn’t come up with it. I knew I had heard about it before, though. Yes. Exactly what I was also thinking.

Post # 12
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@MrsOliveBird:  Yep. I’m only a BA level psych minor but that immediately sprung to mind for me too. Definitely worth seeking professional input. 

Post # 14
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@Beenonymous229347:  If you can’t get him to a therapist, I’d tell him how upset this makes you. A healthy sexual relationship is very imporant. Maybe if you two start having sex, he will understand it can be a beautiful thing. Not just a dirty thing

Post # 15
Member
17 posts
Newbee

Sorry to be Debbie Downer here but if he doesn’t get serious therapy NOW things will only get worse.  He has a porn addiction and a fear of intimacy.  He’s certainly not being honest with you about the extent of his porn watching.  And by your own admission, you haven’t been honest with hin that it bothers you.

It is honorable that a man wants to remain celibate until marriage, but I see a huge contradiction in his use of porn.  There is now way he is not being sexually stimulated/gratified.  He just isn’t including you.

This is problematic.

The topic ‘What do I do??’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors