Post # 1
I live in Europe and most of my family and friends live in the USA. Previously, I had discussed the possibility of going wedding dress shopping with my mother when I move back to America, but she seemed unenthused and has made no mention about my wedding at all (seriously, I’ve brought it up and the topic is always diverted to something else).
A few weeks ago my best friend came to visit me (so exciting!) so we decided to go dress shopping, as I’ve been really down about how unresponsive my family has been about the entire wedding and felt that I needed the experience. I told my parents that I had decided to go and, the day after my appointment, my mom freaked out about it and wouldn’t even acknowledge the idea of me not going with her, which I was very confused by because she had express NO interested before. To avoid more drama, I have withheld telling her that I’d already gone.
I had an amazing experience with my friend. However, my issue is that I found a dress that I LOVE and is only available at that store. I don’t have to get this dress, as I have time to look for another, but I’m wondering if it even is worth it to give full control over to my mom in this situation? Unfortunately, I can’t discuss the idea with her without a lot of anger from her, so a discussion is not possible. Our wedding and this dress will be fully paid for by my fiance and I, and, while I want to keep everyone happy, I love this dress and feel that my mom is being extremely unfair.
Do you have any advice or recommendations?
Post # 2
What if you told her that you found a store with some dresses that you like and then go with her and try on several dresses but make sure that one is in the pile? I’m sure the people at the shop have dealt with this numerous times and wouldn’t be shocked if you asked them to keep it on the down low. You don’t have to tell her you found “THE dress”. Whethere she helps you find your dress or not dress shopping together will still be fun and memorable. Guess it’s up to you how many details you want to reveal!
Post # 3
thank you for your advice! however, I would need to dress shop with her in the USA in a few months, but my dress is in Europe where I am living currently. I would have to somehow buy the dress and convince another dress store to let me try on a dress I already bought from another store. Wish that was an option!
Post # 4
I forgot about that part… hmm well if you don’t even live in the same country she can’t be too upset! Maybe find a different activity you can do together to make her feel special?
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2019 - A historic Art Deco and French Renaissance Theatre
Are there any stores in the US (near your mother or in a reasonable traveling distance) that carry that designer and happen to have that dress? If so make an appointment with them and try it on for her (not telling her it’s the dress). Or just get the dress, she doesn’t have to know, and the next time you are in the US just pick a bridal salon to go to and try on dresses with her. That way she gets the experience. You don’t have to walk away with a gown so just let her know none of the dresses were the one that day. Then at some point a bit later down the road when you’re home tell her you found the one and you feel beautiful and happy and nothing else has compared, so you bought it. Maybe it’ll ease “the blow” of getting a dress without her. And hopefully she will be happy for you and not mad since she did get to go shopping with you and have that experience 🙂
Post # 6
You could tell her that you saw a dress online that you fell in love with. And I agree w/PP that you could try to find some reseller of the same brand. So you can go with your mum without telling her that you actually already tried the dress on. And maybe they have the same dress or you find one that you even like more. And if not, you can tell her that you can’t really decide before having tried on this particular dress and that you found a store near your home in Europe. So it seems like the circumstances are responsable for you getting the dress without her.
Post # 7
Thank you cloud9bride :
and bellabelle12 :
! I can’t get the dress in a US store, unfortunately, as the dress maker is still small and only in Europe. Love the extensive plot of trying on dresses and then saying it’s online though. So clever. If I can’t find one I love in Portland more, maybe I will just say that and have it shipped over. Thanks so much guys!
Yeah, it’s tricky. I think I’ve solved it, thank you for your help!
Post # 8
sorry. got the wrong idea so deleted post.
Post # 9
I would just tell her that you went dress shopping with your friend because you didn’t think she was really interested in it. Tell her you’re sorry you went without her, but you’re excited because you found a dress you love and would love to show it to her. Hopefully she will be understanding and kind. Maybe you two can go dress shopping for her dress to make up for it!