- 2 years ago
I really don’t know where to start. I have searched high and low for someone who is having a similar experience as me but alas my future mother in law seems to be a one of a kind. My finace and I have been together for 2 years and our relationship is great. There is no drama ever between us and I love that. The only issues we have ever had are with his mother. When we met, his mother had been in a long term relationship with a guy for over a decade. In fact, she moved to a different state to be with him which is the reason by fiance hasn’t seen his father in years. About 6 months after we started dating, his mother found out that the bf was cheating on her with multiple people. She ended the relationship and they all moved out of the house they had shared. She let him keep EVERYTHING. He still lives in the house they bought together with the tennis court and hottub she bought for it. About 2 months later, she called my fiance to bring her some things for work because she hadn’t come home the night before. We all assumed she just had a one night stand and we just didn’t ask any questions. About two weeks later, we find out she’s seeing someone and that someone turned out to be the ex boyfriend’s best friend. I mean this is like some soap opera material! But of course it gets even better. Fast forward a few months and they are still dating and the real kicker is that he is still married. So, not only is she dating her cheating ex’s best friend, but the guy is still married to his second wife and my fiance’s mother sees nothing wrong with that. All of her kids told her that they didn’t think it was a good idea, but she didn’t listen. Now, they have been together for a little over a year, he is still not divorced, she bought him a townhouse to live in and she is going to move 3-4 hours away from all of her family to live with him sometime this spring or summer. She refuses to spend any of the holidays with any of us (she goes to his family’s stuff), she doesn’t care about any of our wedding planning because the guy keeps promising her that he is going to divorce his wife and marry her. So, she is spending all her time and money on him and is already planning their wedding (which she claims is going to occur before ours does) and they are not engaged. She is breaking my fiance’s heart by canceling plans with him to be with the bf. He hasn’t seen his mom is two months and she only comes around when she wants something from him. They used to be so close and she is blaming the rift between them on ME! I’m not the one who abandoned him for a stranger. Even his grandma calls him to complain about the bf and his mother sees no problem with any of it. One of the last times they spoke, she fussed him and his sister out for not liking the bf and even called them racist bc the bf isn’t hispanic like they are. After that, she vowed to keep them separate from the bf at all times which has translated into her just not speaking to them. To make matters worse, she HATES it when my fiance spends any time with my family and ends up making him feel guilty about it. I’m just so tired of all her drama. It is always something with her. We dont want the bf at any of our wedding stuff but I am afraid she won’t come if we do that and I don’t want us to get married and neither of his parents be there. I don’t know what to do anymore. I dread all the holidays bc I know she is going to make us all miserable. So I guess my question is has anyone dealt with this kind of crazy before and if so, HOW?