(Closed) what do i do? i really need you'r help Bee's

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: what should i do?
    invite her but dont make her a bridesmaid. : (34 votes)
    97 %
    just let her be a bridesmaid. : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    716 posts
    Busy bee

    She can be invited to the wedding but if she’s not family or a best friend, I don’t see why she should be a bridesmaid.  She’s probably not expecting to be asked so don’t even mention it to her.  If she comes to the wedding, cool.  If not, also cool.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1778 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    The tattoos should have nothing to do with your decision.  However, the fact that you are not close to her and in fact do not even really like her should have everything to do with it.  A bridesmaid is supposed to be good friends with the bride and stand up for her, if she is your husband’s friend she should be a groomswoman or simply be a guest.  It’s not a good idea to make someone you do not care for as one of your attendants, it’s going to cause you stress and you do not need that.

    Post # 5
    Member
    8605 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I wouldn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid simply because you aren’t good friends with her, not because of the tattoos. If he feels that strongly about it have her stand up on his side.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6830 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Why cant she stand up on his side? And so what if she has tat’s.  They are a very personal thing and should not be held against someone

    Post # 9
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Since you don’t even like her, a fair compromise is to invite her as a normal guest. Don’t tell her anything about being a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Odds are she won’t be expecting it anyway.

    Post # 10
    Member
    553 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    the tattoos are a moot point, the fact that you don’t like her is enough to not make her a bridesmaid.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Well, I’m certainly not voting in your poll, because there isn’t a decent option.

    Should you have her as your bridesmaid?  No.  Because I would hate to be a bridesmaid for someone that acted like this about choosing me.
    It is clear you do not want her, so having her would be an insult and bitch move.

    Can she be at the wedding?  Sure.

    Could she be on your FH’s side?  Sure, if he wants.

    Should her tattoos have anything to do with the wedding?  Absolutely fucking not.
    I’m honestly surprised that there are people still out there like this that aren’t 50+ years old.
    I don’t even have a tattoo, or even really care for tattoos.  But I would NEVER judge someone over what may not be my style.

    Shame on you for doing it. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    5955 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    If you don’t like her, don’t haver her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  You think this is difficult now?  It’d be 100x worse if she’s a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

    It’d be different if she was your SIL or something and your Fiance really wanted her in the wedding.  

    Post # 14
    Member
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @HisNightOwl2014:  You didn’t mean it in a bad way?  “Think of the tattos in your pictures” is an insult and made my jaw drop.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1448 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @HisNightOwl2014:  If you already asked her, it’s not very classy to retract the invitation.

    Post # 16
    Member
    9549 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I agree with others. Her tattoos shouldn’t matter. But you shouldn’t invite someone to be a bridesmaid if you arne’t close with her. But you’ve already invited her which puts you in a very awkard situation. Honestly you shouldn’t have invited her in the first place. Or if your fiance was the one that wanted her in the wedding he should have invited her to be one of his “groomspeople”. But now I”m not sure what to recommend. I think it would be kinda lame to take back the invitation at this point, but I also think it’s kinda lam to have someone as a bridesmaid that you don’t actually like. So in the end I think just do what you want. Since niether is a good option, just go for what works best for you.

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