What do I do if his family doesn't show up?

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
646 posts
Busy bee

If it were me I would be trying to figure out more about what happened and how he feels about his family basically ignoring him. Then I would worry about how it might affect the wedding.

Post # 3
Member
5382 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

mikkiprat :  have you and your Fiance now pushed to find out why they suddenly hate you to the point of shouting at you and refusing to attend the wedding. You don’t seem that concerned, it’s also weird that you have no idea what this could be down to yet it’s serious enough for all of his family to act like this.

Post # 6
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Congratulations btw. Unfortunately they seem to  or dont want to care. Whatever it is, it would be best to let them go.  I wouldnt even invite them. And the mail copies of pictures . I think from now on i would only contact them by mail. On the bright side u dont have to worry about holidays and whose side of the family you will visit. I bet they are the kind of people who get upset if u dont show up to thanksgiving.  Sometimes people will take kindness as weakness. Cut them off. I would

Post # 7
Member
990 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

The one who said not to text again… I would probably text her just once more to ask why? After that, I would just leave it alone. I also would cut off anyone who spoke to me like that (why are you having to see them at Christmas, etc?)

Post # 8
Member
9613 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

It’s you fiancé’s family. Follow his lead on this. Ignore them.

What you are doing now is just fueling thier stupid game. 

Post # 9
Member
2877 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

If you fiancé is not concerned I wouldn’t be either. Something happened at some point but they don’t seem open to discussion about it so I would carry on with my life and let them act like toddlers. FWIW, I have 7 siblings and only 3 of them have ever congratulated us on our engagement or has had any interest in the wedding. I have decided not to let it bother me and to just move on from them. It sounds like your fiancé is trying to do the same. 

Post # 10
Member
5070 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

I feel like the bigger issue at hand is why your FI’s family has suddenly changed their opinion of you or your engagement.  Your Fiance needs to have some tough conversations to get to the bottom about this. Beyond not attending your wedding the bigger issue is that you are marrying into a family who is adamantly not in support of you.  What went wrong?  Clearly something significant.  For you to have no clue is indeed baffling.

At this point their dismissal, claiming nothing is wrong won’t really fly if they are declining to attend your wedding.  Fiance needs to get to the bottom of this so hopefully there can be resolution.

Post # 11
Member
4479 posts
Honey bee

I think your Fiance needs to be the ones having these conversations with them, not you.  Because if they really do have a problem with you, they probably aren’t going to tell you.  

And if he doesn’t want to, then follow his lead.

Post # 13
Member
1152 posts
Bumble bee

mikkiprat :  wait, so your Fiance just accepts their behavior? If that’s the case he knows they’re not going to show up at the wedding. Definitely stop talking to his family. You have tried and failed to mend things. If your Fiance wants to have a relationship with his family then he will be the one to get through to them. Not you. 

Post # 14
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee

This is a sad situation, but I don’t think you will be able to fix this on your own. 

Make sure to invite plenty of friends of fiance’s to the wedding, so he is surrounded by love. 

 

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