(Closed) what do I do if my FMIK refuses to pay for SIL's dress?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 32
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

In this country bridesmaids pay for their own dresses, that’s tradition. Since she is a minor her parents should pay for her dress. If they refuse then she can’t be in the wedding party if you don’t have the money to cover her dress cost.

Post # 33
Member
2473 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MintTurquoise:  first…how many Bridesmaid or Best Man are you having? If more then the other 2 that your planning on helping then I wouldnt feel too bad…. I had a Bridesmaid or Best Man myself I kinda helped pay for it but she had very extreme circumstances…everyone else paid their own (but no one knew I helped). If its not common knowledge your helping then no needs to know right???

second… are your Bridesmaid or Best Man going shopping too? If they are you have a buffer, and you can work it in the convo. (give the BM’s a heads up whats happening and that you need to give Future Mother-In-Law the “hint”) BUT maybe sometime in between you go shopping if your talking/texting/seeing your Future Mother-In-Law…. bring it up casually and say “ya I found a few dresses on the website I think are totally cute and reasonably priced for the girls, UGH I hope they like them they will be SO stolked not having to buy $300 dresses….Oh ya…I need to find out if everyone needs to put their deposit down”

This way your basically telling her in a roundabout way…without saying ….you know your supposed to buy the dress right? (and avoid any awkwardness…..she will have a moment to think of how to respond)She may be wondering the same thing IF your going to pay or not but doesnt want to ask because a) she doesnt want to pay and shes gonna try to get away with it, or b) she simply doesnt know.

If Future Mother-In-Law inquires like “why would price matter to THEM?/what do you mean?” (as in trying to imply YOUR paying right?) you simply say with no hesitation/complete straight face “well of course it matters since Bridesmaid or Best Man buy their own stuff”…and then quickly and in a happy voice change the subject like OMG Im so excited…maybe we should all do lunch afterwards….yadda yadda yadda.

 

Post # 34
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Excalibur

I  dont get why it’s such a big deal if you have to buy her dress.  She’s going to  be your sister in law. I  asked my 17  year old  cousin to be in my wedding and I would not let her mother pay for her dress.  You guys are going to be family.  Would you rather tell her she just can’t be in the wedding then?

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