(Closed) what do I do? recent relative diagnosis…

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 4
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

How bad is his Alzeheimers?  Is it just starting?  I don’t really know much about treatments but do you think that keeping him engaged and active will help his mind continue to work?  I hope that everything turns out ok.

Post # 6
Member
1569 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

I’m so sorry. I’ve spent a few nights sick with worry and grief during our wedding planning as a result of my grandfather’s recent Alzheimer’s diagnosis, so I get the feeling of panic that this can inspire. There are so many questions. Will he be healthy enough to attend the wedding? If not, will your sister have anyone to take care of him if she decides to attend without him? Would it be appropriate to move the wedding sooner, or is his health in a state where that wouldn’t make any difference?

Due to some complicating health factors, my grandmother made the very difficult and wise decision to sell the beautiful home that she and my grandfather had planned to spend the rest of their life in, and move them hundreds of miles to a fantastic retirement village with a first-class dementia center near my aunt and uncle. It breaks my heart to think of her having to live in a separate apartment from him after sixty years of marriage, but he will be well taken care of and she will be enabled to travel to our wedding without him if she decides to do so.

Unfortunately, most of this situation is out of your hands. Your sister will know whether it’s possible for her husband to travel, and whether it’s possible for her to travel without him. Talk to her and get her opinion. Whatever happens, it’s wonderful that you’re patching your relationship and providing her with another supportive voice during this incredibly difficult time. Don’t mention your past issues with her husband, what’s important is that you’re there for her now.

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