(Closed) What do I do? What do I do? WHAT DO I DOOOOO!?

posted 10 years ago in Destination Weddings
  • poll: What should I do?

    Put my foot down, call them back and verbally uninvite them.

    Just don't send them an invitation.

    Send them an invitations anyway.

    Other (please explain)

  • Post # 3
    5191 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    I am a big fan of only inviting the people that the bride and groom actually want to be there. In My Humble Opinion, a wedding is about the bride, the groom, and their community of loved ones. “Community” is the people you talk to when you need support or want to share some good news, not people who are technically related by blood or marriage but who are, essentially, strangers.

    Mr. LK and I refused to invite anyone out of obligation, and it was the right decision for us. But we were paying for the wedding ourselves, so we had that control. Is your FI’s family paying for any part of the ceremony/reception? If so, their opinions on this situation should be taken into consideration before making a final decision on this issue.

    Post # 4
    2637 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    who is paying? If you are, then put your foot down. If you aren’t, then just deal with it and try to compromise. Please, whatever you do, don’t just do something passive like not sending an invite… with the way that these things go, Mother-In-Law will tell the people that they’re invited, they’ll make plans etc, and then when they start calling you about where’s their invitations, you’ll be in even deeper…

    Post # 7
    2637 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    you either decide to invite them, or you call FI’s grandmother back and say, “I’m really sorry, but we’ve changed our mind on the size of the wedding… It will only be (insert-type) people. I hope you haven’t told (people) that they are invited, because if you have, then you’re going to need to tell them what I just told you.” Or something to that effect. 

    Post # 10
    1736 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I have a  soft spot for grandparents so i would say let grandma go to the wedding especially since she is his olny surviving grandparent. Everyone elce I do not think they should get an invite out of obligation, especially if YOU have never met them and Fiance does not want them there.

    Edit: I realized i did not answer your question. Call or see grandma with Fiance, tell her that it is an intamate wedding and all of the extra people are making both of you uncomfortable, especially since it seems like it is a vactaion oppertunity for the extendeds rather than them being there to celebrate you and Fiance.

    If she is not willing to call them, you call them Again with Fiance so its BOTH of you not just a bridezilla,and tell them sorry, intimate wedding.


    Good luck!

    Post # 11
    3134 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would call FI’s grandmother and say something like, “We’ve spoken to the venue again and it looks like we have to limit the guest list.  Unfortunately we won’t be able to invite (other guests you don’t want), but we still really hope you will be able to make it!”

    What is she going to say?  Nothing without sounding incredibly rude.

    Do you live in Vancouver by the way?

    Post # 13
    15 posts
    • Wedding: November 2011

    FORGET THAT!! It’s YOUR wedding and just because it is a desitnation wedding does not make it any more acceptable for people to invited themselves. Put your foot down. I’ve found that after you state what YOU want, most family members move on to bugging you about some other aspect of the wedding. If you guys have been together 10 years then no one wh knows you will object.

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