(Closed) A 'Conditional' RSVP? – What do I do with this one?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

They would be a considered a yes. I know it sucks if you have to pay for them and they don’t show up, but consider the consequences if you put them as “No”, and they do show up.

I had to put my best friend (and MOH) and her SO as a yes, knowing that they probably wouldn’t come because she had to be scheduled for a c-section the day before the wedding. I didn’t know for sure if she would give birth before the c-section, and I didn’t want to take that chance of not being prepared.

Post # 4
Member
9549 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah, it sucks but I think you have to put them as a yes!

Post # 5
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

don’tcha just love the unpredictable lovely weather of Canada? lol

Post # 6
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@smiles4jo:  I would put them as a yes. My mother is afraid of driving. In this case I would be happy they are at least making the attempt to come to your reception. Hopefully they will show up. If not, I would still send them a note or something showing no hard feelings Smile

Post # 7
Member
911 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - The Down Town Club, Philadelphia

Yeah, they are a yes. I agree with PP’s.

Post # 8
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I actually got an identical RSVP from an elderly friend who lives about an hour away….  and we live in Texas.  Bad weather was very unlikely, but it’s always possible.

She ended up not coming because she was sick that day, even though the weather was beautiful.  We had her place setting ready for her, though, and I don’t regret it for a moment.

Post # 9
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

In this situation, I would

(1) try to find a relative to drive them to the wedding so they will be able to make it. We’re having to do this for Fi’s grandma. Maybe a cousin?

(2) if that doesn’t work, confirm before you have to get back to the caterer. Maybe say “I’m so excited that you’re able to make it! I know that the drive is long, and I am so thankful you’d do that for us.” And then if they get awkward because they aren’t coming, they’ll let you know. 

(3) If they get self-concious about their fear of driving, the above options would probably embarrass them, so I would just put them down as a ‘yes.’

Post # 10
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@smiles4jo:  If you’re at a place that has trouble accommodating more space or plates of food from you caterer I would call your aunt and uncle directly. Thank them for the card and saying you really would like for them to be there and need a definite answer for the venue/caterer/whatever. Of course, a blizzard is a different story, but if they can’t commit to either YES or NO that leaves you having to guess and well, there was no “maybe” on the RSVP.

Or…you could just send them another invite and see if it happens again. LOL Kidding, kidding…

Post # 11
Member
3582 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@smiles4jo:  Of course you have to include them as a yes.

The world isn’t black and white, Yes/No. Some flexibility on your part is required for a small percentage of quests, that is, if you sincerly want them there. Extenuating circumstances trump your wedding.

Post # 12
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Oh that sucks… I have a winter wedding in Canada too and I bet this will happen. Hopefully they will be reasonable about the weather conditions though. Yah it can snow and be cold, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not safe to drive. 

Post # 13
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think that is kind of what you sign up for when you live and plan a wedding in Canada. It really doesn’t matter if you disagree with what they consider to be bad weather. Many people do not want to risk the roads in winter time in the first place. Try to just let it go, you will be much happier if you do.

Post # 14
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I know it stinks, but part of planning a winter wedding is anticipating that there could be bad weather.  If they’re coming a far distance, they could get caught in a local storm.  Just have to cross your fingers!

Post # 15
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Gotta love our weather eh? I hope the wether conditions are just as they want so they can come. Last year, December was very mild and I didn’t have to put on a winter coat and boots until January…. so you never know!

Post # 16
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

What part of Canada are you from? its a risk you take having the wedding in dec i mean same could be said for other guests. lol it’s not a Canadian problem, its seasonal. in Vancouver it maybe snows 5 times a year, I feel like people still think we live in igloos   

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