(Closed) What do I say?! HELP!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Wow, that is beyond forward! I would say something like “really appreciate that you want to spend our special day with us. Unfortunately we do have limits on how many people we have invite so we won’t be able to celebrate with you that day, but look forward to getting together soon!” Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Just tell her that due to space constraints you have to keep your numbers down. I can’t believe your co-worker would do that. I’m shocked that some people can be so rude and thoughtless. That is incredibly awkward for you and immature on her part. I hope you figure this out, but my suggestion is to tell her no and possibly disinvite your co-worker (just kidding:) …..

Post # 5
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Orange couldnt have said it better!

Post # 6
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

“…we *can invite..” Sorry typo!

Post # 8
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

That really sucks! This is one of my fears.

I hate to say this, but you really can’t uninvite people once you’ve invited them. I would pull Shawnette aside and clarify with her the the entire office is NOT invited.

Then I would address the woman who emailed you directly. Something along the lines of “I’m so sorry for the confusion, but we are sadly not able to invite everyone from the entire office. Unfortunately Shawnette did not realize this. While we wish we could invite everyone we simply can’t accommodate so many people. While we would love to celebrate with you, restrictions have forced us to make very difficult decisions. Again, I’m so sorry for this difficult situation.”

If you don’t put your foot down, you WILL be hosting your entire office at your wedding. If I were Jen in this scenario I would not hold it against you, but against Shawnette. The only one who can extend invitations to a wedding is a host, NOT a coworker. I hope everything works out as neatly as possible. Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You really think she thinks she’s invited when she didn’t get an invite or hear directly from you? If she does then maybe say, “Sorry for any misunderstanding, I know there was some confusion about invites….and then go into Unfortunately we do have limits on how many people we have invite… ??

Post # 10
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

How could she have sent you an RSVP is you never even gave her an invitation?!  so bizarre.  I would just be honest with her and say i’m not sure how the rumor got started but because of the budget and the space in the room, I’m not able to invite everyone who i’d like to.  Lets get together afterwards though!

blahh, sorry you have to deal with this

Post # 11
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Say that apparently, Shawnette misunderstood.  NOT EVERYONE is invited to the wedding and due to budgetary reasons, you only invited a few people and those are the ones who received a wedding invite.  And yes, that’s rude of Shawnette to just verbally tell everyone that everyone’s invited.  My first instinct is to disinvite her but since you already gave your word and formally invited Shawnette, it’ll be rude of you to disinvite her just to “punish” her.  Let’s just hope Shawnette doesn’t show up to your wedding dressed in white!  =)  Good luck, girl!

Post # 14
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

bella i think what pompom said is DEAD ON….just tell her it was a misunderstanding and that you are really sorry and if you feel really bad you could even say that you would love to be able to have her there but because the wedding is so close you are unable to add anyone on because youve already given your final numbers to the caterer and venue (lie if you have to!)

Post # 15
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I find it really strange that someone who didn’t ever receive an invitation would email you to “RSVP”. 

I think pompom gave you excellent advice.  It might be a bit of an awkward situation but you definitely need to nip this situation in the bud.

Post # 16
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Go with PomPom!  I like how it puts the blame back on Shawnette but not in a pointing fingers way.  And you should def pull Shawnette aside so she doesn’t continue.  I think you should be able to get away with not having this girl come.

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