- 5 years ago
- Wedding: February 2014
Hi wedding bees
I’m a newbie on here but feeling in need of some advice so hoped you could help!
My fiance and I got engaged a couple months ago and I feel a bit all over the show trying to decide on when and where to get married.
We are both pretty “low-key” people – we enjoy nice things and a good time but we’re not into extravagence or fuss for the sake of it. Both of us have a reasonable circle of close friends but not massive numbers of friends or family.
A huge complication for us is geography – I am from New Zealand and he’s from England (and we currently live in Australia) so we are literally from opposite sides of the world!! So there’s no real way of keeping things super easy as inevitably someone’s side of family and friends will have to travel (unless we have two events).
Our initial thinking was to have a destination wedding somewhere that would be roughly “half-way”. We initially looked around San Francisco or Hawaii and spent a good few weeks looking at all sorts of different venues etc which was all a bit overwhelming.
Then we had a complete change of heart and decided – why not have a really small wedding ceremony at my home in New Zealand (my parents live near a beautiful lake and we could do it there), and then a big reception party in England (we are back there next April anyway). This would also mean we could do the ceremony sooner – around Feb next year instead of June which we were looking at if doing a destination wedding (we wanted to give people lots of notice).
I’m not someone who’s always dreamt of my wedding day since being little – the whole wedding thing doesn’t really excite me. I’m also pretty socially anxious, reserved and shy and so I genuinely don’t even know if I’d be able to relax and enjoy the whole thing. So it seems a bit crazy to be spending loads of time, effort and money on something I don’t even know if I’d enjoy. But then I wonder if I would actually enjoy it once I was there and maybe it is just my fear speaking.
On the one hand, it’s just one day, neither of us are *that* fussed about it, so why spend loads of money and effort when we could do something relaxed, low-key and elegant at home rather than a destination wedding which, by its nature, feels like it has to be a bit of a “big deal” because people are travelling a long way for it.
But then I wonder if I would regret just doing something small (probably 20 people maximum) and pretty much family only, it would mean not inviting a few friends. The other option would be have it at home and invite more friends – but I think if it was at home I would want something quite small and intimate – and also another good friend is getting married at home the weekend after I was looking at and quite a few people will be travelling for hers – so I don’t want to steal her thunder. It would also be a bit strange a wedding with only my friends and none of my fiance’s.
I’m sorry this is so long-winded!!! I guess my main question is for those of you who had a very small wedding, did you have any regrets? Or likewise for a destination wedding? Did anyone think they didn’t really want a wedding, but surprise themself on the day? Or do you have any other advice for helping to decide what you want!!!