Post # 1
My mom’s friend is throwing a lavish shower for me which I am very thankful for. However, my mom has told me in advance that she will not give my registry website for the host to put on the invites. My mom does not think that we should ask women to bring gifts for the shower and then for the wedding as a family. I am confused. People do this, right?
I am not greedy for gifts but if giving gifts for a shower are not viewed as greedy, why not?
I do not feel like throwing myself a shower and I don’t want my mother to throw one if that’s what she thinks. Also, I have moved to another city not close to home and it would be hard for some older friends who are my mom’s friends to come to a shower if it is thrown by one of my friends.
What do I do?
Side note: sometimes I hate how controlling my parents are. My mom also told me that she doesn’t want people to bring shower gifts because then they will bring $10 wedding gifts. Which is absolutely not cool. I hear of the tradition of opening gifts at the shower and was looking forward to doing so, even if it was a Mickey D toy.
This topic was modified 4 years, 11 months ago by kikilo.
Post # 2
Although it may vary by country, region, culture, or families, (I’m in the mid-Atlantic USA), I’ve always thought the purpose of a bridal shower is to “shower” the bride with gifts. Some put gift registry information in the shower invitation (in the wedding invites is a no-no), while others prefer to use word of mouth (mothers of the couple, bridal party), telling guests (if they ask), when they RSVP, etc.
In my family and social circle, almost everyone brings a gift in an envelope, to the wedding.
Post # 3
- Wedding: December 2019 - Paris, France
The purpose of the shower is to shower the bride with gifts. Thats like ….inviting someone to a baby shower and not giving them the registry. Then you don’t know what the mom needs.
Post # 4
kikilo: The whole purpose of a shower is to give the bride gifts. I have no idea what you would do if no gifts are involved. Your mom is totally wrong in this case. My sister threw mine and she put where we were registered on the invite.
Post # 5
kikilo: The core purpose of a shower is to “shower” the bride with gifts. It is therfore acceptable to include registry information. If the shower is not a surprise shower for you, phone your aunt yourself and give her the information. Just make sure that there are less expensice “shower type” gifts on the registry.
Your mother may have this confused with wedding invitations where it is not acceptable to include registry . I havw never bought a wedding gift that was less expensive than a shower gift and I doubt many people have.
You are joking about hosting your own shower, aren’t you? That would be the height of rudeness.