(Closed) What do people say to you about TTC/parenting that makes you feel crazy?

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 17
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

A couple of the mothers I know  are constantly going on about what a joy ride parenthood is, how smart, cute, talented and funny their kids are, how motherhood is so fulfilling, yada, yada, yada.

I’d be thrilled to hear them get real once in a while. I’m sure parenthood is fantastic but no ones child is PERFECT!

Post # 18
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I hate when people say “you shouldn’t tell anyone you’re ttc!!” Why the heck not? Especially when other friends are also TTC and we have a little group going?  My family + in-laws are crazy about it. They make the “wanting grandkids” comments, but told me not to tell anyone I had a BFP until 2nd trimester, and not to tell anyone about TTC. 

Post # 19
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

@Peffy:  OMG I FEEL THE SAME WAY!!! I’m not TTC yet but I’m considering not telling ANYONE when I am pregnant just so I can avoid comments like this! So funny because I was just telling Fiance the other day how I HATE how parents think they know EVERYTHING just because they are parents, and I HATE when people think they know JUST how you will feel/think/act once you are a parent! So with you here!!

Post # 21
Member
7368 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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@vorpalette:  Yes these “overwhelmed” parents KILL me. I know one, who screams at her husband and the oldest two kids to do EVERYTHING. Yet she’s such hard working stay at home mother. *&^%$ I can’t stand the bitch. When I tell you she doesn’t do anything, I mean it and when she does lift and ocassional hand. STOP THE PRESS she has to let you know how HARD it is to be a mom. Bitch please.

 

Post # 23
Member
7368 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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@Peffy: Really? Sorry. I worry about her kids. ALOT. I wish I could steal them away. Do you have alot of resentment or lingering issues from it? 

Post # 25
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I  hate all of the “just relax and let it happen” comments. I get that after I’m forced to tell people I’m having fertility issues after they ask “why is it taking so long,  you better get on it”.  And as soon as one of my coworkers get pregnant,  they always want to tell me how all they had to do was spin around three times and rub a magic rabbit foot (or some similar bs),  as if they’re the fertility experts.  But if I bring up charting, temping,  opk you can practically hear the crickets. The whole infertility ordeal is very irritating,  which compounds the stress 

Post # 27
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

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@Peffy:  exactly!  We’re around 15 months in,  and I’ve been seeing a RE since April,  they’re annoying to because they work at a snails pace,  they are not nearly as aggressive as I want them to be with my treatment. Otherwise they’re great,  I just wish they were a little more involved 

Post # 28
Hostess
11164 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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@bklynbridetobe:  We have friends that the wife works and the dad works two days a week, two days!!!!! He just hired a nanny because he is overwhelmed with his kids. Seriously?!?! My mouth dropped and it took everything in me to not tell him he was crazy.

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@Peffy:  I’m just annoyed in general at people making assumptions about the type of parents we would be. Any assumption is unwarranted and unnecessary so keep it to yourself.

 

Post # 29
Member
7368 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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@Peffy:  Don’t ever underestimate what someone can triumph over 🙂

Thanks, your right, I think the oldest and youngest will adjust well but I worry about the middle one based on things that he says. Lord knows I had terrible father I like to think I came out OKAY. 🙂

Post # 30
Member
555 posts
Busy bee

I don’t have kids and I am also not trying, but I hate it when parents tell me: “Oh you don’t understand, (because) you don’t have any children!” For example, I went on vacation with friends (who were parents), and the kids called them (from their grandmas house), saying that they missed them. After the call my friends were sad, so I tried cheering them up, saying they will probaBly be fine, and I get to hear: you don’t understand, you are not a parent. Uhm, seriously? I am only trying to make you feel better, and I certainly know what it is like to miss someone, and what it was like to be a kid! 

I think it is somewhat degrading, when parents say that. They are implying that people who are not parents are not worth as much and can’t understand the deep emotional relationship blabla. 

Post # 31
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

“You don’t know how stressful it will be” that one just drives me batty… Not because I think it wont be stressful or anything but because I ALREADY HAVE A CHILD I know how stressful it can be. I was a single mom on top of being a new mom (long story) I know how stressful it can get. I mean come on, really? Who says that? But they do and the “You don’t know how expensive babies are” um… yeah I do, again I’m already a mom. I don’t know why these people keep saying this to me. 

And when it comes to my daughter I get a lot of “Oh just wait till she turns into a teenager” or “Just wait until she hits her terrible twos” blah blah blah. Just because your kid was a terror doesn’t mean mine will be, and so far she hasn’t. All the fear of the “terrible twos” was wasted because she was not like everyone said she would be.

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