(Closed) what do the bridal party SO’s do?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1512 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Hm. I hadn’t thought of it. I know a lot of times they don’t come, or they come later, since the bridal party will be busy all day. I think it would be common courtesy to come later, but I have one who will be here from across the country. I’m sure they’d only have one vehicle, if any. I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Sorry I don’t have any advice. I never thought about this!

Post # 4
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Hmm maybe you should talk to her boyfriend and have him talk to her.  I know when my Fiance was a groomsman, I just waited around while he did all the early stuff, but i wasn’t just… watching like a creeper! haha. If you’re not in the middle if nowhere, maybe she could just go to a bar or shopping or something…

ETA: She probably doesn’t want to just stand around watching either 🙂

Post # 5
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Wow this is a tough one.  I had BMs come from Out of Town with their BFs.  I know the BFs didn’t leave but I honestly didn’t see them around watching us.  One Groomsmen brought his wife and even though she wasn’t in the wedding (I didn’t know her) she was extremely helpful around the church and while we were doing pictures.

I guess it depends if the GMs are all getting ready together or they’ll show up ready.  If they are getting ready together, I would def. drive around and go shopping….maybe if there are some good places.  But if she’s only going to be alone for an hour, hour and a half, I’d probably stick around….I’d be afraid of getting lost and being late….especially if I don’t know the city.  

Ask your Groomsmen what she is planning to do while waiting….guys don’t care much about those type of questions. 

Post # 6
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Are they staying at a hotel? Whenever my SO has been in weddings, I just hang out at the hotel until it’s time to get ready and head over. Most weddings we’ve been to have transportation from the hotel to the venue, so I usually just head over with the other gf’s/fiances/wives when it’s time.

Post # 7
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My Fiance dropped me off at the venue when I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man last summer-but I was there to have my haird done, etc. He just showed up at the ceremony time. It all depends on the car/driving situation and where the hotel is in relation to your venue. If it’s a short drive, I think she could drop him off and come back-but you can’t expect someone to drive 30 mins or so to drop him off, drive back to the hotel and then spend all that time driving again.

Post # 8
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Most of the time they either hang out together in the hotel, sightseeing or at the bar. Watching would be kind of weird and I worried about this too.

Post # 9
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Like others have said,

She can drop her SO off at 3:00, then go back to the hotel to finish getting ready and be at the ceremony at 5:00. My Fiance and I have done this several times. The only problem I see is if they are driving down the day of the ceremony. If so, you can’t really ask her to get lost when she has nowhere to go. If they have a room, it should not be a problem at all.

Post # 10
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@loving_life:  Agreed, she probably doesn’t want to hang around.

Every time I’ve been a date and my husband has been the groomsmen (back when we were first dating) I would just show up at the normal time to the wedding. There was no way I’d hang around when they’re doing bridal party things. I’m guessing you probably have nothing to worry about.

If transportation/sharing a car is a potential problem, you could always try to arrange a car pool for the dates to get to the ceremony since the bridal party needs to get there early. That way the party could use their own cars to get there on their own AND you could make it clear the dates should stay where they are. Or, you could arrange a car pool for the bridal party and the dates could use their own cars to get there.

Post # 11
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ours just came later on their own, or some hung out with the other Bridal Party SOs during the day and drove together. They all worked out their driving situations ahead of time, or we helped them find rides with other guests who would be driving. I don’t think any of them were really interested in sitting around by themselves while we took photos and got ready, so it didn’t end up being an issue!

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