Post # 1
On a more regular basis than I think any of us wish it happened, posts come up on WB that say “should I stay with this person?” and a description of a heartbreaking relationship, where the OP obviously deserves more than she’s being given.
So here’s my question: At the root of a relationship, what things do you think every woman (or man) truly deserves from their SO?
the top of my list is:
- Respect as an individual
- To be loved by someone who is passionate about you (not just with you because it’s convenient, easy, comfortable, etc.)
- To be safe, emotionally and physically
What else do we all fundamentally deserve from our SO?
(or to put it another way, if xyz were missing, you’d tell the person to leave – what is xyz?)
Post # 3
Interesting post! I agree with what you said: respect, honesty, loyalty and compassion. And some regular passion.
Post # 4
I know not everyone would agree, but honestly, my husband is my favorite person in the world to be around. I have best friends outside of him, but he is the person that I without fail want to see every day of my life. And the same goes for him.
I totally agree with everything you’ve said as well. I also think that being able to completely be yourself around that person is key. There is nothing that I can’t share with my husband, and I know not everyone agrees, but to me, that is super important. I am most comfortable with him, and I love it
Post # 5
I think if for one moment I felt like I couldn’t be myself, then I wouldn’t be able to stay in the relationship. And that means a lot because honestly Im pretty crazy. So if he can handle that, it means the world to me!
Post # 6
@ddw: I would say in addition to all those things understanding.
The ability to understand what makes us who we are. And to accept those parts of us that are not always perfect.
Post # 7
@Ms. Polar Bear: Absolutely!! Understanding and forgivness for the times we are having a bad day etc. I think those are very important in addition to the honest, loving,pasionate realtionship I think everyone deserves.
Post # 8
All of the above,but also supprt is a big one for me, I know that my Fiance is on my side,even if Im wrong. He wold stand up for me,fight my corner and then when we got home or were alone, he`d tell me if I was wrong or out of line,but he would never undermine me in front of others or show anything but 100% support! It something my ex would do all the time, go against me when we were out with friends, and try his hardest to prove me wrong (regardless of wether I was or not) and it made me feel I couldnt rely on him for anything. Hence why he is an ex and I have my wonderful fiance!
Post # 9
@tranquility: Exactly!! I am a strange bird, and the fact that my husband loves me despite all my flaws, is awesome
Post # 10
One of my all-time favorite movie quotes sums it up:
“In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out of your ass. That’s the kind of person worth sticking with.”
Post # 11
@tranquility: yes! I’m pretty crazy too 🙂
Post # 12
if you can make me laugh and i can trust you no matter what, and you can put up with my crazy ass, i’m good.
although i do complain here and there that he doesn’t do more romantic things for me or help out around the house but it’s not a deal breaker for us. but it does cause me to get moody from time to time and snap at him a lot and honestly, i’m surprised he hasn’t belted me in the face yet with some of the nasty sarcastic things i’ve said to him lol i’m a handful and he is very patient and doesn’t get all bent out of shape when i’m in a mood. he’s just like, “whatever you say nutso” lol
Post # 13
@ddw: I agree with your foundations, for me that is what makes the relationship a bond between me and my bf, happiness, passion, security and respect.
I have two more:
To try and understand and respect each other’s values in life/beliefs and to each other’s cultural differences. (Him being all Norwegian, me being raised in a Sweden my roots are Brittish, Pilipina leads to some misunderstandings from time to time, we sort it out)
Support each other’s goals career wise and personally (hobbies so forth) (My long life dream is joining Doctors without borders as a midwife/nurse. I do read medical books sometimes and Boyfriend or Best Friend supports me) (His dream is opening an IT business specialized in consultancy and enterprise solutions)
Me and my Boyfriend or Best Friend have some different hobbies, I really think it’s important to not let those go. We share some and some of them we do on our own (He= PC Games and military/war history , Me=Handicrafts, Human rights, Computer hardware and Art)
Re-edit: I would say that if one of these things would be missing, I wouldn’t even stay. I feel like all these things are dependent on eachother. And of course, things can be worked on, but maybe only to a certain point, i guess….
Post # 14
@ddw: Honesty, loyalty, likable and fidelity.
Post # 15
Wow, what an amazing thread!! I’ll add one more to the mix:
That you know he’ll be there when you need him; that he’d drop anything and everything, no matter what, to be there for you. And you’d be willing to do the same!
Post # 16
unconditional love period. & forgivness.